My Best Friend, Tom Kaulitz, Is Germanys Playboy
by JB-FAN-4-EVER
Summary: Sadie Hawkins best friend is Tom Kaulitz of Tokio Hotel. Sadie can't deny the feelings she has for him. One problem, she is a BIG Disney Star, and you have to be PERFECT. How can you be perfect when your friends with TH? Ch.33 THIRTY three!, 4/26/09
1. Chapter 1

**My Best Friend is Germanys Playboy**

_Early 2007_

I put one hand on my hip and the other lay limply on my side,

flashing a cute smile to the photographer. I was standing next to the _Wicked_ poster in Times Square. Being able to come to New York was a dream come true. I was Disney's newest girl and was beginning to enjoy the perks of being on a new TV show. True I wasn't all that famous yet, actually not all. We had just finished filming the 1st season of _Rose of Respet_ and I was doing some publicity for it. I play the character of Princess Rose, and basically it's about the mischief that she comes up with in the castle. The cool part was that it was set in the Renaissance time period so I got to dress up in cute stylish dressed and have cute hairstyles, but enough about that.

I have been wanting to go to New York for so long. The idea of going to the "City that never sleeps" always fascinated me. I have lived in California my whole life, and had never really left it. After wrapping the first season, the rest of the cast and myself got a week off to do what we wanted, and I chose visiting New York. My publicist thought it would be a good idea if I had a few pictures of myself in New York that we could use later for some photo shoots.

"Good." The photographer mumbled and checked the picture on his camera. "Can you back up some and do the same pose?" I quickly nodded and started to back up, the buildings immediately catching my attention.

"Ok. That's good... Sadie you might want to stop. Sadie, behind you!" I snapped out of my trance and turned back quickly, only to be met with a coffee cup.

"Ah!" The person holding the coffee, which was now all over his white baggy shirt, shouted.

"I am _so _sorry!" I cringed and waited to be yelled at, but it never came. I looked at the young man to see black baggy pants, a huge white shirt, long multi-colored dreadlocks, and a white and black cap on his head.

The boy looked at me with no expression, but it quickly turned into a smirk. I then noticed his lip ring that glinted in the sun.

"I'm Tom Kaulitz." The boy held out his hand.

"Sadie… Hawkins." I shook his hand slowly.

"Like the dance?" Tom had a thick, but cute accent.

"Um… yea." I said shyly. This boy was _so_ cute. Perfect jaw line and chocolate brown eyes. "Sorry about your shirt…" I mumbled. Tom looked down and shrugged.

"I got other white shirts." He smiled. "Are you here by yourself?" Tom looked around me.

"Yea. I'm just visiting New York with my mom." I rubbed my arm.

"With a photographer?"

"Yea. I'm on a new TV show that is going to air some time later this year so…" I trailed off.

"I see." Just then a cameraman showed up out of nowhere and started to film the two of us talking. I stared at the camera and then at Tom, confused.

"I'm in a band in Germany and you are on Tokio Hotel TV right now."

"Hey whose the girl?" A boy, at least I think it was a boy, coming up from behind Tom said. The boy had black hair with blonde highlights, and harsh eyeliner surrounding his eyes.

"This is Sadie."

_2008_

"Ah… the good ol' days when I didn't have to look beautiful 24/7 in America." Bill sighed and left the room, leaving Tom and I on the couch with a giant TV blaring in front of us.

"I agree… the good ol' days." I smiled. The rest of that day in New York was spent with Bill and Tom, who I later learned to be twins. We had pretty much bonded that day and became fast friends, and that was it. No more then friends. I admit it, in the beginning I wanted to be a little more then friends with Tom, but after hanging out with him and watching youtube interviews, the desire suddenly vanished.

We were watching the Tokio Hotel TV episode where I had first met the twins. When fan girls saw it, they of course became jealous, but soon accepted the fact that I wanted to be nothing more then friends with the boys.

"I love the shirt Tom." I laughed as the camera zoomed in on the coffee stained shirt.

"Yea some weird chick spilled coffee all over it." Tom smiled and leaned back more on the couch.

"Stupid girl. Spilling coffee on _the_ Tom Kaulitz... tsk tsk tsk." I shook my head. "Eww and look at her hair!" It was curly, black and short. I hated my hair back then, but was loving it now. It was long (thank God extensions were invented), chocolate brown with natural looking honey brown highlights and straight.

"I know! I can't believe I let myself be seen with her!" Tom exclaimed.

"Hey!" I hit Tom.

"Ow…" Tom rubbed his shoulder and smirked.

"Yea, but you know you love me now, right?" I smiled at my best friend. I had lost the few I had, as soon as I moved away from North California and into LA.

"Of course." Tom answered sarcastically. He did love me, not in that kind of way, but in a sister way. He told me a few months back, when he wouldn't let me date this really hot guy. I got mad and upset, and told him he couldn't tell me whom I could or couldn't date. Turns out this guy only wanted me for a "fun" night and Tom was only trying to save me from "those" kind of guys. Funny thing is… Tom _is_ that kind of guy.

"Whatever Tom." I smiled. Just then a knock was heard on his hotel room door. Tom got up and answered and I remained where I was. I could see that it was some petite blonde girl, and she was flirtatiously curling her hair around her finger.

"Um… can you hold on?" I heard Tom say and close the door slightly.

"Hey Sad… I uh…" Tom looked at the floor.

"Yea I get it." I got up from the couch and walked over to the door that connected our rooms. "Remember, protection is a mans best friend." Tom just smirked and I left with a grin on my face, but it quickly faded when the door behind me shut.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I sat on my bed and sighed. Tom was always doing this. Finding some stupid slut to make him happy for one night, and then kick them to the curb the next morning. In some ways I felt sorry for the girls. They didn't deserve to be treated this way. Or, I guess they kinda did. They knew what was coming for them.

_I've got sunshine on a cloudy day_

_When It's cold outside_

_I've got the month of May_

Dang! Where did I put my cell phone!

_I guess you'd say_

_What can make me feel this way_

_My girl_

_My girl_

_My girl_

_Talking bout My-_

"Hello?" I found my phone underneath my pillow.

"Guess what? You're on the cover of _Us Weekly_." Dawn, my agent, spoke. _Us Weekly_ was basically a tabloid magazine.

"What? Why?!" I exclaimed. I couldn't of why I would be on the cover, unless they found out about the party in Germany where-

"Sadie Hawkins. Completely wasted at a hot new years eve party. What will Disney and her fans say?" Dawn read the title.

"I thought they weren't allowing cameras into the club!" I put my head in my heads and groaned. Why me?

"This is not a good thing you know. This is not your first time covering this magazine because you could not keep your hands away from the liquor! Sadie…" She sighed.

"What am I suppose to do? I'm not going to go out and publicly apologize for having fun on one of the biggest party nights of the year!" I shifted my phone to my other ear.

"Sadie. We talked about this. You are Disney star. You can't go out and party and expect no body to care. You are a role model to so many young girl and-"

"Yea? Well I didn't ask for this! All I wanted to do was get my name out there, so I could do bigger and better things!" This was so not fair!

"Don't mess up again ok? At least go drink and have fun in Tom's apartment where no one is taking pictures."

"Wait, did they mention Tokio Hotel in the article?" I asked

"Only that you were seen doing shots with them, and then separated later on." Dawn answered.

"Oh ok." I didn't' do anything bad at the club. Just drink and dance the night away. I'm guess the magazine put a picture of me that looks like it was a lot more then just dancing.

"Remember you have that autograph signing tonight." I could tell that Dawn was looking at her schedule as she spoke.

"At 7 right?" The clock read 1:30.

"Yes. Be ready by 5:30."

"Thanks Dawn." I said and hung up. I sighed and threw my phone on my bed. I hated being a Disney star. You couldn't have any fun at all! They expected you to be righteous and good all the time. How could you do that when your best friends with Tokio Hotel? I heard a bump in the next room over and rolled my eyes.

"Time to turn on the TV…" I murmured and turned up the volume very loud. I was not interested in knowing or hearing what was going on in the next room over.

It was nice to be back in LA again, where the TV spoke English to you. Last week was the party in Germany.

I flicked through the channels and stopped on Disney. _Rose of Respet_ was on.

"Great…" I said through my teeth.

"Sadie?" Bill yelled in the hallway.

"Come in!" I shouted back. Everybody had each others key cards to their rooms for emergencys.

"Hallo." Bill said and flung himself next to me on the bed. I just continued to stare at myself on the TV screen.

"Whats wrong?" He frowned. He always knew when I was upset, because I would just stare at something and be silent.

"Pictures of me at that party last week got out." I said in monotone.

"The New Years one?"

"Those are the ones." I turned down the sound slightly and looked at Bill.

"You know, I am so tired of having to be the good girl. It sucks that every time I just want to go out and party, I either get told I can't or the pictures come out." I crossed my arms and pouted. Bill looked at me sadly.

"I understand. I remember the first time Tokio Hotel got ridiculed for drinking. We had just become big in Germany and everyone wanted to be like us. So many upset parents… All because people thought of us as role models. Not anymore…" He chuckled.

"Didn't you ever get tired of it?" I stared him the eye.

"Still do." Bill sighed. "It seems like it is taking people longer in America to accept us." I nodded my head. It was true. In Germany, drinking and partying is a normal thing. America is too conservative and can't seem to grasp that Tokio Hotel is doing what they always do.

"Don't let people get to you ok hon? Be who you want to be." Bill kissed me on the cheek.

"I'm trying…" I grumbled and heard another bump against the wall. Bill looked at and shook his head.

"Brunette?"

"No. Blonde this time. Complete slut." I stared at the TV again.

"So much for his brunette streak. Back to blondes again." Bill sighed.

"Yup."

"It bothers you, doesn't it?"

"What?" I looked at Bill again.

"Tom sleeping around all the time." He said simply.

"Why would it bother me?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Because he is your best friend."

"So?"

"So? Tom is also my best friend and brother, and I hate what he does." Bill flipped his straight jet black hair out of his face.

"I know you do." The TV took my interest again.

"And so do you."

"No I don't. I don't care what he does." I was starting to get annoyed.

"Don't you ever wonder why he hasn't slept with you?" Bill sat up as I snapped my head towards him.

"What?!" I exclaimed.

"I have to go get ready for the concert tonight." Bill turned to leave.

"Bill!" I shouted, but he was already closing the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

What the hell was Bill talking about? Why would I wonder about that?! Ok… so secretly I did. What made me less attractive and appealing then those other dumb girls? Oh I know. I actually walked around covered up, I didn't constantly throw my self at guys, and I wanted a real relationship that was not just based on sex. I never told Tom that, but I'm sure he could guess that. I always acted innocent and wasn't constantly talking about sex.

Did I want to sleep with Tom? That was something I wasn't sure about. It would still be nice to know that Tom could actually see me in a different way, other then his "sister".

I sighed, getting up and walking over to the mirror. I picked up my hair brush and ran it through my slightly knotted hair. In two days the boys would be leaving LA and moving onto Arizona to play a show. I would stay behind in LA to do some press work. When they left, I would go back to my home in Toluca Lake. My life would go back to being all about Disney and my show. Right now we were staying at the Holiday Inn, in Hollywood. The boys had a concert at the House of Blues tonight in West Hollywood. I agreed to doing an autograph session two hours before the show. The fans knew whenever Tokio Hotel was in California, I was with them. So they bugged my agent about an autograph session, and she agreed.

I was excited, yes, but after last night ( we played an intense electronic game of LIFE all night) and Dawn calling about the magazine, I was stressed and tired. I collapsed on my bed again, closing my eyes, letting sleep take me.

***

"Sad… Sadie." Someone shook me.

"Sadie! Wake up!" The person shook me harder and I opened my eyes a bit.

"What…" I said groggily. Tom was above me, his dreadlocks coming close to touching my face.

"Its 5:20." He said urgently.

"Oh ok… 5:20?!" I jumped up out of bed, pushing Tom aside, and ran to my suitcase.

"Well… technically 5:21 now." Tom smiled.

"Shut up." I quickly pulled out a black low v-neck t-shirt that said Tokio Hotel on it, and a teal tank top to wear underneath it. I was about to pull my shirt off, but noticed Tom standing there.

"Turn around!" Tom rolled his eyes and did so. I quickly pulled off my old shirt and put the new ones on.

"Done?" Tom asked, but turned around anyway. I found my teal skinny jeans and unfolded.

"No! Turn around!"

"Ugh!" Tom groaned, but kindly turned around again. "You know, its not like I've never a bra and underwear before."

"True, but-" I pulled on the jeans. "You don't need to see me in them."

"Who says I haven't?" I knew he was smirking, but I ignored his comment.

"Ok." I put on my black converse. "Can you turn on my flat iron?" Tom walked into the bathroom and pushed "on".

"Thank you." I entered the bathroom with him and grabbed my eyeliner. I spent about 5 minutes on make-up and it looked ok. I was putting the finish touches on my lipstick when Toms phone started to ring, and he bumped my arm in the process of answering. My lipstick flew across my face, leaving a giant pink mark.

"Tom!" I yelled and glanced down at my flat iron. "Tom! You have it on the lowest setting!" He put his phone down.

"All you said was 'Can you turn on my flat iron?' and I did." Tom shrugged and started talking again.

"You are _so not _helpful!" I growled.

"Bill is coming to the rescue!" Bill shouted from outside my hotel room. About 5 seconds later Bill was in my bathroom pushing Tom out while scolding him about how he was a crappy helper. He quickly turned my iron on to 450 and helped me wipe of the lipstick.

"Tomi…" Bill sighed and lightly touched the iron. "Almost hot enough." But picked it up anyway and started to expertly straighten my curly ends.

"Thanks Bill." I smiled and re-did my lipstick.

"That's what I'm here for." He grinned and continued on my hair.

***

"There is Mr. Unhelpful himself." Bill stated as we walked to the entrence out of the hotel. Fans were scattered everywhere outside. Our security was with us, waiting for the ok to help us get to our car safely. Bill and I were with the rest of the band and I hugged Georg and Gustav. Tom was now texting, his eyes never leaving the screen.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"Texting."

"I can see that." I stated.

"Then why'd you ask?" I rolled my eyes, and noticed the security starting to push us forward. Tom put his phone in his pants pocket and grabbed my hand. I never thought twice when Tom did that, but because of what Bill said earlier, I was starting to. We always excited a building in pairs when there was lots of fans waiting for us. It went Georg and Gustav, Tom and I, and Bill had his own security guard plus another one. I heard the screams as the door opened and was met with Tokio Hotels fans and my fans.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Sadie! Tom! Ahhh!" Girls screamed our names. "Bill!" I felt girls tug on my shirt, but it wasn't as bad for me as it was for the boys. The girls literally had death grips on Tokio Hotel. The security did their job by removing the girls hands and helping the boys get to their car. The Double G's made it first, and scrambled to seats all the way in the back. As Tom and I were nearing the car, it suddenly got harder to move through the crowd. The fans were moving in and crowding even more. About 20 seconds later we managed to pile in the middle section of the car, panting, and waiting for Bill to movie. We looked over the top of the crowd for Bills hair, and found he was in the middle, not even moving. The security the four of us had, suddenly plowed through the crowd grabbing Bill, and pushing him in the car. The door slammed as soon as Bill had all of his limbs in the car, and off it sped, away from the crowd. Bill sat next to me, as there was no other room in the car.

"Well… That was fun." I said sarcastically, straightening my shirt.

"Mhmm…" Tom hummed as we put on our seatbelts. That was nothing out of the ordinary for us. We were use to all the screaming fan girls, so we went back to acting like nothing happened.

The guys and I talked about whatever random stuff was on our mind, except Tom. He was busy typing away on his phone and I couldn't help but get a bit peeved. If he was going to do this all night, I was certainly going to say something. Bill looked at Tom and then raised his eyebrow at me. I shrugged and turned to listen to Georg and Gustavs conversation, throwing in my opinon where it was needed.

The car pulled to the back of the _House of Blues_ so we could get out easily, without having to deal with the fans. The backstage room was okay. A few couches scattered here and there, and a little coffee table in the middle. I quickly occupied one, as did Gustav. Bill went into a corner and talked to Natalie, Georg and Tom sat on the other couches, waiting for the bass and guitar to be brought in.

"Ugh. I don't know how you stand having a ton of calluses on your hands." I watched as Gustav wrapped his fingers with tape.

"Well, I don't really want to be in pain from the sticks rubbing against my skin for an hour and half." Gustav continued to wrap.

"I guess." I yawned. Backstage was always kind of boring. Everyone just sat around, or got ready for the concert. Lucky for me, I had a signing session in 45 minutes. Maybe they would let me go out earlier.

"Hey Sadie." I looked up to see the Tokio Hotel TV camera near me.

"Hey hey." I grinned at the camera.

"What are you doing right now?" The staff asked.

"Just waiting for my signing session to start." I glanced at Tom. Still texting. "It's going to be fun."

"Yes. Are you sad to have to say goodbye to the boys tomorrow for a little while?"

"Of course! I love these guys! We've been best buddies for like 2 years now. I hate when they aren't around." I answered.

"Who will you miss the most?" I looked over at the boy who had just gotten his guitar, but put it aside to text. I'm suppose to miss Tom the most, but he's been annoying me.

"Um… all of them? They are all special to me." I smiled. Normally Tom would be laughing and joking with me, and people would yell at us to shut up, but not right now.

"Thanks Sadie." The staff said and walked over to talk to Georg. The next thing I knew, I was walking over to Tom and sitting down next to him.

"When are you going to talk to me?" I asked. Tom looked up.

"I'm talking to you right now." Tom looked at his phone again.

"You know what I mean." I said flatly. "Are you ever going to stop texting soon? I'm leaving in like a day ya know."

"Sadie." The venue security waved me over. I glanced at Tom and he didn't seem to be paying attention to me, so I walked over to the security.

They quickly briefed me on the session and said I could start it right now if I wanted. I accepted, tired of Tom ignoring me.

A few moments later, my ears were filled with the screams of fan girls, and blinding flashes from the cameras. I waved and sat down at the table to see a few sharpies, waiting for me to use them. From what I could see the line went on for a mile, maybe longer. The butterflies in my stomach started flapping, and I couldn't help but smile. I loved signing sessions. Something about seeing my fans happy to see me was exhilarating. I nodded to a security guard and they started letting fans in.

I was showered with gifts, which I gratefully excepted, and thanked them. I remember there was a little girl, she was about 6. She hobbled in on crutches, with her parents behind her in case she fell. She held out a picture of me that I signed, but I wanted to sign something else.

"Can I sign your cast?" I asked. Her eyes lit up even more then they were already, and big smile spread across her face.

"Yes!" She burst.

"Ok. Is there any color you want me to use?" I pointed out the colored sharpies.

"Um… the orange one!"

"You got it!" I got up and walked around to the other side of the table and knelt down to sight her cast.

"Your really pretty." The little girl said.

"Awww thank you." I looked up and smiled. "Oh, what's your name?"

"Percilla."

"That is such a pretty name." I finished signing up and gave her hug. "Are you staying for the show?" Percilla nodded. I looked over at the security guards and nodded at them.

"Can you step over here mam?" One of the security guards said to Percillas parents.

"Bye." I waved and took my spot back at the other side of the table, smiling and autographing stuff for the fans.

I signed for about 2 hours. Yes, my hand was starting to cramp up, but it was worth it to see my fans smile. The fans were now being let into the club as I made my way backstage again

"How was it?" Georg asked.

"Fun." I smiled and scanned the room for Tom. _Still_ texting.

"Who are you texting?" I said as I sat down next to Tom. The boys had about 30 minutes till they had to be on stage.

"Does it matter?" He asked.

"Well sorry. I'm kind of curious. You've only been texting this person for like the past 4 hours." I was annoyed, he could tell.

"Why do you care?" He looked at me.

"Did you not hear me earlier? I'm leaving in like a day!"

"I know."

"Then why aren't you talking to me?!" I exclaimed.

"I don't have to talk to you 24/7 ya know." He remained calm.

"No, but… I'd still like to talk to my best friend every once in a while." I pouted.

"Look, were talking now. Ok?" He put his phone in his pocket.

"Ok." I said. "Who are you texting?"

"Well if you must know, that girl from earlier." Tom's pocket vibrated.

"Are you serious? Why?" Tom was still talking to her? I thought the contact ended as soon as she walked out the hotel door.

"Because."

"Because why? You never keep in contact with the girls you sleep with!"

"Well maybe this time I am. God… get off my case will you!" Tom huffed and moved to the other side of the room. The room was silent. Everyone just stared, but eventually went back to what they were doing.

"What the heck…" I mumbled under my breath.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"_Dude. Your letting the bags slip through your fingers!" I held onto the two drink carriers._

"_No I'm not. I've got a good hold." Tom shook the bags to prove they weren't going anywhere. _

"_No you don't." The bags really were slipping. Tom and I had volunteered to go the nearest fast food restaurant and pick up food for the band. The food place was only about a block away so we walked there. _

"_Yes I do!" Tom insisted._

"_Slipping, slipping, slipping, slip-"_

"_Sadie! Look, the bags are still in my-" Just then the bag slipped out of hands and fell on the ground. I burst out laughing._

"_Still in your hands? No. I think they are on the ground now." I laughed and bent down to help him pick up the food. Fortunately the food was wrapped, so it was still ok. _

"_I told you." I smiled and Tom just stuck his tongue out at me._

"_It's not like you've never dropped food before." We stood up again and continued our walk back._

"_Psh! That was on accident! Bill ran into me!"_

"_Just to see the ostrich with its head stuck in the sand." Tom smiled at the memories._

"_Good times." I too smiled. That was a good day at the zoo. _

"Sadie…. Ms. Sadie." I snapped out of my trance and looked to see Tobi to the left of me.

"The concert is about to start. Will you be watching from the front row or the sides tonight?"

"Uh… the sides." I normally watched from the front row. The fans were pretty cool with me being there. They didn't get over excited or complain that I was in the front and that I should be in the back. They treated me just like them, and I liked that. Tonight was different though. I didn't feel like being smashed up against a barricade, and having peoples random body parts rub my back.

"Ok." He said and left. I was kicked out of the back room five minutes after the whole thing with Tom. I wasn't kicked out because of that, but only because the boys always had the last 30 minutes to themselves. I was now sitting on an extra speaker that was backstage, waiting for the concert to start.

The door in front of me opened, and out walked the boys, concert ready. I smiled at them as they walked to the stage, getting ready for the curtain to be pulled. Tom just glanced at me and then looked at the floor as he made his way to the right side of the stage (from the audience POV it's the left side). I stared at him, watching him put the guitar strap over his head and get in ready position.

***

The concert was good, as usual, and the crowd was really feeling them. I sat on a couch in the back room waiting for the boys. They came back in sweaty and hot, but with grins on their faces.

"We rocked!" Bill pumped his thin arm in the air.

"We're amazing." Georg grabbed a towel and dabbed it behind his neck.

"But not as amazing as the guitarist." Tom grinned, and the others rolled their eyes. Bill watched as Tom and I looked at each other from across the room.

"Hey Tom…" Bill said and took Tom aside. I couldn't understand what they were saying because it was in German, but I had a feeling Bill was talking about earlier with Tom and I. Honestly, this whole texting thing wasn't a big deal, like at all. It just sort of ended up that way. I guess people need their space, and I crowded too much. I'm sure Tom and I would be able to fix this.

A few knocks on the door were heard and it was open. In walked a teenage girl and the little girl and her family that I met during the Meet and Greet. The girl had won backstage passes from a radio contest.

"Thank you so much for the backstage passes." Her mother smiled warmly.

"Oh. You're welcome. She's just so sweet, I had to let her backstage." I watched as Percilla stared in awe of Bill's hair.

"Hi there!" He grinned and got down on his knees down to her height.

"Hi!" Percilla waved and pointed at her cast. "Sadie signed my cast."

"I see… Ooo! And in orange to! That's my favorite color! Can I sign it?" Bill asked excitedly. Bill was so good with kids. They all loved him the minute he started talking to them. I looked away and saw the girl standing their watching Bill. I wasn't going to let the poor girl just stand there while Bill entertained himself with Percilla, so I introduced myself.

"Oh hey. I'm Sadie Hawkins."

"Yea. I watch your show."

"Hey guys!" I waved Georg, Tom and Gustav over. "This is…" Oops! I didn't ask her name.

"Carol." She said and shook all the hands that were offered to her.

"Do you want to touch it?" Bill had caught Percilla staring at his lion mane. She reached out and let her hand run over the top of his hair. Percilla pulled back, holding the hand she had used to touch his hair.

"It feels like spikes!" She giggled, and Bill grinned. Percillas eyes left Bills hair and looked at me.

"Hi!" Percilla waved and skipped over to me.

"Hi there." I picked her up, being careful of her cast, and walked over to a couch.

Bill had straightened up, dusting his pant legs off, when he saw Carol standing there. He took in her long straight auburn colored hair, blue eyes lined with a bit of black eyeliner and cute figure.

"I'm Bill Kaulitz." He stretched out his arm to her.

"I'm Carol Sanger." They shook hands slowly.

"Are you German?"

"Yes, but I can't speak German." Carol spoke nervously.

"Well its good then that I am able to speak some English." Bill smiled.

"Yes…" Carol couldn't get over how soft his hands were. "It is."

"Picture time!" Tobi led the boys over to a certain corner in the room.

"He's cute huh?" I stood next to Carol looking at Bill. Percilla was back in her mom's arms, while her dad carried her crutch. Carol nodded, but quickly looked at me.

"Don't tell him I think that!"

"Believe me, Bill knows when a girl likes him, but its sort of unusual when Bill likes the girl back." I crossed my arms.

"Why do you say that?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"Just the way he looks at you." Carol blushed.

"Sadie? Miss?" Tobi called us over for pictures.

"Am I standing with the guys?" I asked.

"Yes. We will do a group photo and if they want a picture with an individual band member, we'll do that." Tobi instructed.

I took a group photo with the little girl and then an individual one with her. Percilla got photos with each member. I walked her to the door with her parents, and they thanked me once more and left.

I ran back and took another group photo, this time with Carol. The band dispersed from the area, waiting for Carol to choose whom she wanted a picture with. This time it was different. Before Carol could even choose, Bill had pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her waist, her face touching his chest. The band and I were a bit taken aback by that, but just shrugged it off. Carols eyes bugged out and looked at me. I just smirked and nodded as the photographer snapped the picture.

"Umm …can I get one with Georg and Gustav together, and also Tom and Sadie together?" The photographer nodded and positioned the Double G's with her. Then Tom and I walked up next to her. Tom was on her left, and I was on her right. I could tell she was trying to act normal, but was struggling with it. I just laughed lightly and smiled for the picture.

"Thanks guys." Carol got her camera from the photographer and hugged each guy again, Bill the longest.

"Bye. Thanks." Carol walked back to the door, looking behind her and receiving a smile from Bill.

"Hey." I ran up to Carol. "We should hang out. What's your number?" After putting it in my phone, I hugged her and said goodbye.

Bill and Tom were conversing on the couch in German when I walked up to them, slapping a piece of folded paper down on the table.

"What…" Bill looked confused and opened it up.  
_Carols #: 555-6666_

"Your welcome." I winked and sauntered away, leaving a grinning Bill giddy.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

I opened my suitcase and pulled out neon green silk pajama pants and black wife beater with purple hearts all over it. I changed where I was standing and threw my dirty clothes in my other suitcase for laundry. We had gotten back from the concert and everyone went to their separate rooms. Bill wouldn't stop skipping around like an idiot. He even skipped into his room and ran into a trashcan.

Hm… Bill and Carol together? Well… I don't really know much about Carol, but she seems like a cool girl. Most of the girls that met Bill were stuck up, and had _way_ too much confidence that Bill would be theirs by the end of the night. I liked Carol. She didn't seem to be like that. I assumed that she was just happy to be in their prescence. I'm sure that when I said Bill liked her, I made her night. And many more nights.

I had called my mom to check in with her. That's what she made me do. Since I wasn't at home, she made me call her every night just so she knew that I was alive and happy.

After throwing my long hair up into a ponytail, I crawled into my full sized bed and laid down, pulling the sheet and comforter towards my face. It was only 12:30. Something had to be on. I flicked on the TV and started to search for something to watch.

"Wow… nothings on." I muttered, flipping through the channels.

"Sadie?" I heard Tom say from his room. I looked at the door connecting our rooms.

"Hmm?"

"Can I come in?"

"Yea sure. Whatever." Maybe Tom was going to stop being an ass.

The door opened and Tom walked in. He was wearing black basketball shorts and his one of his oversized white t-shirts. His hat and headband was removed, and all that remained was his dreadlocks tied up. I loved when he looked like that. He looked so normal, so un-rockstar.

"What are you doing?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Watching TV" I said in a "duh" tone.

"No. Come hang out with me."

"Tom… I don't feel like it." I sat the controller down and settled for a romantic comedy.

"Please? I ordered room service and bought a movie!" Tom sat on the edge of my bed.

"What'd you order from room service?"

" Mint Chocolate Sundaes and Chocolate cake."

"German Chocolate?" That sparked my interest.

"You know it."

"I don't know… what movie did you buy?" Lets see if his choice of movies was as good as his taste in food.

"Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Your _favorite _movie." Tom smirked.

"Well…" He remembers my favorite movie!

"Oh! And I ordered Cream Soda." Tom traced the designs on my bed spread. "So… what do you say?"

"Ok." I smiled and got out my bed.

"Yay!" Tom squealed, which earned a weird look from me.

"Come on!" Tom took my hand and led me into his room. He had a queen sized bed, although I couldn't imagine why. I was about to jump on the bed, but stopped myself.

"Did the maid clean that?" I pointed to the bed.

"Yes." He laughed. "She was here while we were gone."

"Oh ok." I plopped down in the middle, spreading out.

"Room service." Said a man outside Tom's door.

"I got it." Tom went and opened the door. The room service dude wheeled in a cart with Mint Sundaes and German Chocolate Cake.

"Yay!" I jumped off the bed and ran over to the cart grabbing cake and ice cream, and then returning to it. Tom grinned as he watched me get excited over the food.

"Thanks." Tom handed the room service dude a few bills and closed the door.

"I'm guessing you like that?" Tom laughed getting his cake and ice cream and joining me on the bed.

"I love this stuff!" I said through a mouthful of cake.

"Good."

"Movie!" I said as soon as I swallowed.

"Oh yea." Tom set his dishes on the bed and grabbed the remote, turning the tv on.

***

We were just getting to the part where Pippen stares into the orb thingie and sees Sauran, when Tom pauses the movie.

"Hey. I was watching that!" It was just getting to a good part!

"It's not like you haven't seen it before." Tom said and I pouted. "And I wanted to talk to you."

"Ok…" I guess the movie thing can wait a bit.

"Sorry about today." He began.

"Yea, what was with you?" I was laying on my stomach and pit my chin in my palm.

"I don't know…" Tom shrugged. "I was just talking to that girl.

"Why?"

"It was kind of cool to talk to somebody who I never talked to. I always see you guys and am always talking to you." Is that seriously why?

"I'm not always here." I said.

"No, but we always text."

"I guess. Is that really why you were texting her?" That couldn't be it. "You must have been talking about something pretty interesting then."

"Yea. She's had a pretty crappy life."

"How did you get into that topic?" I mean, he normally has fun with the girls and then they are gone forever.

"Earlier. When she was in here."

"So while you guys were 'enjoying each others company' you were talking?" I didn't think you could have an actual conversation, what with all the heavy breathing and stuff.

"We um… we didn't actually do it…" Tom mumbled, eyes on the floor.

"What? I'm sorry." I scooted closer to him. "Did I hear you say you didn't actually have sex?"

"Yup…"

"Were you feeling ok Tom? Some little slutty blonde waltzes into your room and you don't-"

"We tried to." He interrupted. "But she could never bring herself past making out. Then she suddenly started crying, and being the selfless guy I am," Eye roll " I didn't pressure her into doing it and we talked instead."

"What the heck? If she didn't want to do it, why was she there?"

"Said something about her friends telling her to do it. I don't know. It was all very confusing at the time." Tom turned around and put his head on the pillows.

"Then what was with all the bumps?" I laid down next to him.

"We were "trying" to get into it." He said with a sheepish smile.

"Ah… I see. Oh what was she crying about?"

"She started telling me about her crappy life how her dad hits her and stuff."

"Aw… poor girl." I frowned.

"I think she'll be ok…" Tom bit his lip. "So, I'm _very_ sorry for ignoring you and being an ass and whatever else you thought I was being. I don't want you to be mad at me."

"It's cool Tom. I don't think I was actually mad at you, I was just feeling ignored." I stared at his multi-colored hair.

"We're cool right?"

"Of course." I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

"You missed. My lips are right here." He smirked and pointed at his mouth.

"You idiot. I wasn't even aiming there." I lightly hit his shoulder.

"Don't deny it Sad… I know you want me." Toms eyes shined.

"You wish." I sat up and adjusted my shirt.

"Every day babe." Tom then kissed me on the cheek and I rolled my eyes. Of course Tom was joking… right?

"Hey, where's the cream sodas?" The cart was empty except for our desert dishes.

"Damn bastards." Tom cracked.

"True dat!" I laughed as Tom pushed Play on the controller.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

I had fallen asleep towards the end of the movie, but awoke when I felt Tom get off the bed. I opened my eyes a bit to see him go out to the balcony with a box in one hand and a lighter in the other. I started to fall asleep again, but suddenly smelled smoke. I opened my eyes to see Tom inhaling and exhaling smoke. I got off the bed and walked to the balcony door.

"Can I have a light?" I didn't smoke much, only with Tom, and that was on rare occasions.

"Think what the headlines will be when they see that you are smoking."

"Just give me one." I sat down on the chair. "It's not like anyone can see us. We're on the top floor."

"Have you forgotten how crazy our fans are?" Tom threw me the box and lighter.

"Yea well, they are just going to have to get over it then." I light my cigarette and inhaled deeply.

"You are so not meant for Disney." Tom chuckled.

"I know." I exhaled, watching the smoke blow away.

"Hey!" Tom looked over the railing to see Bill standing on his balcony.

"I want one!" Bill said and ran inside. Within seconds he was on our balcony with a lit cigarette in hand.

"Bill, you shouldn't smoke. It's terrible for you lungs." I flicked the butt, watching the ashes fall.

"Says the girl with a lit cigarette in her hand!" Bill retorted and I grinned.

"Yes well I don't sing, so I don't have to worry about ruining my precious voice like you do."

"Shut up." Bill said and put the cigarette to his lips.

After a few more lights, the three of us went to our rooms and finally went to sleep. I was in my room, Tom was in his room and Bill was in his room. Smoking always made me tired. I think it has to do with the smoke getting in my eyes or something. Instead of irritating them, it made me sleepy.

***

I woke up the next day around 1:30 because Jost called the guys and I to get up. We dragged our lazy bodies down to the lobby where they had a private room waiting for us.

"You smell like smoke." Georg said as I sat down next to him.

"As do the twins." I replied grabbing a steaming cup of coffee and brought it to my lips. The twins and I hadn't changed since last night. We just woke up and came to breakfast, er lunch. Whatever meal you would like to call this.

The twins sat down in front of Georg and I looking refreshed and ready for the day.

"Where's my coffee?" Bill looked around the table.

"I think I'm drinking it." I gulped another bit down.

"Hey." Bill crossed his arms and pouted.

"Fine geez. Have your stupid coffee back." I sat it down in front of him and got up to grab my own.

"No. I don't want this. Your germs are in it!" Bill called. "Bring me a new one."

"Yes your majesty." I bowed and poured a new cup of coffee for him.

"Here." I grabbed my first cup and gave him the new one.

"Thank you." Bill smiled and drank it black. Bill and I were similar like that. We both drank our coffee black.

"What's on the agenda for today?" Gustav sat on the other side of me and started to eat his fruit.

"I have an interview today." Bill stared at his coffee.

"Does that mean the rest of you guys do to?" I asked and grabbed a bagel.

"No. They only want to see Bill." Tom said. "Which is fine with me. I just want to be lazy today."

"Yea me to." Georg said Gustav nodded.

"I hate you guys." Bill sipped his coffee bitterly.

"Well it's not our fault that they only want to interview the singer." Gustav shrugged.

"Yea. If I had it my way, they would be interviewing the fabulous guitarist." I rolled my eyes and threw a napkin at Tom, but it didn't get very far because it was just paper, so it landed on his plate of strawberries.

"Thanks…" Tom picked it up with two fingers like it was diseased and I grinned.

"Hey what time is your interview?" Georg asked Bill.

"Like at 4, but its here at the hotel, so I don't have to go anywhere.

"Hey, so when are you calling Carol?" I took a bite out of my cheese bagel.

"I don't know…"

"I think you should call her today." I took another bite. "Ooh! We could all go to the movies tonight!"

"And see what?"

"Bride Wars!"

"Because that looks _so_ good." Tom said sarcastically.

"It does! And I'm sure Carol would like to go see that." I smiled at Bill.

"I guess we could do that." Bill said unsurely.

"We will!" I said excitedly.

"What if we don't want to see that?" Gustav asked.

"Well fine then. Don't go. Be boring." I said. "But Tom has to go with me."

"What? Why?!" Tom quit slouching and sat up. "I don't want to go!"

"Well you have you to! You can't expect me to go with Bill and Carol." I crossed my arms.

"Why not?"

"Because its like a mini date thing."

"Bill hasn't even asked her out yet."

"Yea so? I know she is going to say yes and it will be a date." I set my bagel down. " I'm not going by myself. I'll be like the third wheel!"

"Then be the third wheel." Tom shrugged.

"Tom…" I pouted a puppy dog face.

"No…" Tom tried to look away.

"Please?" I begged.

"Ugh… fine!"

"Yay!" I picked up Bills phone from the table and thrust it in his face. "Call her."

"Now?"

"Yes now."

"I'm eating."

"Call her anyway."

"Sadie-"

"Call!" I urged and Bill finally put his coffee down and took the phone, glaring at me. I just smiled and settled in my seat again.

"Hey… is this Carol?... This is Bill umm Kaulitz." Everyone went silent and watched Bill. "Yea… from Tokio Hotel… Sadie gave me your number…" Ok Bill just ask her.

"Look… uh… I was wondering if you would like to go out tonight with Tom, Sadie and I to the movies." Bill looked at me worried.

"Bill she's not going to say no." I assured him.

"Yea?" He smiled. "Ok cool. We can pick you- oh you'll just meet us here? Ok." Bill put his hand over the speaker. "El Capitan?" He asked us and we nodded our heads, he uncovered the speaker. "Yea. Meet us at the El Capitan around 7… Cool. I'll see you tonight. Bye." Bill hung up and sat his phone down.

"Thank you Sadie!" He exclaimed and couldn't stop grinning.

"This is going to be so much fun huh Tom!"

"Yea…" Tom mumbled and I laughed.

"I need to shower." I said getting up. "My clothes smell like smoke."

"I'm coming with!" Tom stood up and I raised my eyebrow.

"No not like that!" But then he smirked. "But… you know if you want to then-"

"No. I'm good." I laughed. Showering with Tom? Hm… I couldn't help but smile in my head.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"Where is she?"

"Chill Bill. It's like a minute after seven." Bill, Tom and I were standing outside the El Capitan Theater in Hollywood in our disguises. Bill had his hair tied back, a black hat, big black sunglasses and a black track outfit. Tom had his hair tied in a bun with a beanie over it and hood to cover it all. He also had track outfit but it was dark blue and brown aviators. I let my normally flat ironed hair stay curly and put a beanie over it while wearing white ray bans and a light purple track outfit. See the good thing was, we were standing on Hollywood Boulevard and there are _tons _of posers there every day so we fit right in. People probably thought we were 3 weirdo's dressed up like were going to take a jog, but trying to seem like celebrities in disguises.

I watched as the people walked by, happy that our outfits were working.

"Bill?" I looked over to see Carol looking at us confused.

"Oh hey! You're here!" Bill grinned and hugged Carol. She looked taken a back…again, but relaxed and hugged him back.

"Glad you could make it." I said while Tom just did a simple head nod.

"So I was thinking we could go see Bride Wars. Well actually it wasn't _my_ idea. It was Sadies but-" Bill rambled but I stopped him.

"You're cool with that right?" We walked up to the ticket booth.

"Yea. It sounds fine." Carol said and put her phone in her pocket.

"Uh… one for-" Tom pushed me away from the ticket booth lady.

"_Two_ for that Bridal-"

"_Bride_"

"_Bride_ Wars." Tom stuck his tounge out at me.

"Thank you." I said and stuck the ticket stub in my tiny pants pocket. Tom always did that, always buying me stuff. It means nothing though. Says he has too much money so he might as well spend it on someone he likes. It's not like I don't have any money, Tom just tells me to save it for shopping and stuff 'and whatever else girls do.' I like that he is like that. It means that he could support me. Woah! Where did that thought come from?!

"Sad… Sadie?" Tom waved his hand in front of me.

"Huh!" I snapped out of my thoughts and saw Bill and Carol staring at me.

"Are you back from Sadie World?" Tom smirked.

"Uh… yea. Let's go." I said and led the group inside. Bill bought Carols ticket, which I thought was totally sweet.

"No. Let me." Bill said and Carol blushed.

Tom gave the lady who was ripping tickets his ticket and waited for me to present mine.

"Ugh! Hold on. These pockets are so small!" I said trying to get my fingers in the damn pocket.

"Hurry up." Tom said impatiently.

"There is nobody behind us." I continued to try and pull the ticket.

"No, but Carol and I would like to go into the the theater before the movie ends." Bill said playfully and I glared at him.

"There!" I finally pulled it out and gave it to the lady. "Here."

"Wow! That only took forever!" Tom joked.

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes and looked behind me. Bill and Carol were just finishing up with lady and now started towards the theater.

"Bill!" I ran up to him and pulled him aside. "Aren't you like going to get her food or something?"

"I already asked her while you were spacing out. She doesn't want anything. We're going to go get food after."

"Oh…" I felt stupid. "Carry on then!" I said ran back over to Tom. Bill smiled and shook his head walking back to Carol.

"Let's go get food." I led Tom towards the food counters.

"Why? Can't we just eat afterwords?"

"Yes, but lets let Bill and Carol go ahead of us. That way we can sit somewhere else in the theater. Plus I want popcorn." I stood in front of the cashier waiting for him to stop shoveling popcorn into different size containers and pay attention to me.

"Oh." The cashier named Steven stepped up to the register. "What can I get you?"

"Um… large popcorn and-"

"_Large_ popcorn?" Tom interrupted me.

"Yes, a _Large_ popcorn. I know you're going to end up eating mine, so I'm ordering a large." I turned back to Steven. " And also a bottle of water."

" Your total is $9.24. Would you like extra butter?" Steven asked fetching the popcorn.

"Please! Lots!" I pulled out my wallet, but Tom pushed me aside again and paid for me. There was no use arguing, so I just shrugged my shoulders and took the stuff.

"Thanks again Tomi." I grinned as he winced. He didn't completely hate the name, but he could kind of stand it when Bill and I said it.

The movie was starting as we entered the theater. Bill and Carol sat in the middle, so Tom and I thought we should take at least 5 or 6 rows above them. There weren't that many people here, considering the movie was about to leave the theater because it had been out so long, so it was ok that we removed our hats and sunglasses. Tom kept his beanie on however, he didn't want to fool with it later

We took our seats and the opening credits appeared on the screen. Tom and I half watched the movie as we looked down ahead of us. Bill and Carol would casually whisper to each other, and every time they did they moved a bit closer to each other.

"Don't you feel weird…" I paused. "Watching Bill and his date? I feel like I'm spying." I whispered.

"No! I have to watch out for my baby brother. Make sure Bill doesn't end up saying something stupid and making the girl want to leave."

"Tom, he's 10 minutes younger then you."

"Yes and that's what makes him my baby brother." Tom nodded.

"Ok well… I'm sure Bill will be fine."

"Because I'm here." Tom said firmly.

"Ok." I laughed and turned my attention back to the movie.

About 30 minutes into the movie, I heard Tom sigh.

"What?" I looked at Tom to see he was slouched in his seat, with his arms crossed.

"I'm so bored. This is such a dumb movie." Tom grumbled.

"I like this movie." I turned back to the screen as Tom shrugged. A few seconds later I felt him nudging my shoulder.

"Hmm?" I turned my attention to Tom again. He was holding a bit of popcorn in his hand and looked to be aiming it at Bill and his brother.

"What are y-"

"Watch!" Tom threw the popcorn and it fell beside Bill. It looked as if Bill just glanced at it and then started watching the movie again.

"Again." I said and Tom threw it towards Bill and Carol. This time it landed between the two of them. Carol looked at Bill, but he just shrugged it off.

"It's not annoying them enough." Tom grabbed more popcorn.

"You just need better aim." I whispered. "Aim for the back of his head or something." Tom threw the popcorn and it finally hit Bill right in the back of his head.

"Score!" Tom squealed, but we quickly turned our attention to the movie screen. Bill grabbed the back of his head and looked straight at Tom and I. We pretended to be total engrossed in the movie. He turned back around and Tom and I giggled in our seats.

"Yay! It's working!" Tom grabbed a huge handful, as did I and we threw it all over the two happy (now annoyed probably) people in the middle section. It basically rained popcorn on them and they both instantly snapped their heads to glare at us. I pretended to be looking at something on Tom's phone that he was showing me. We were so busy "pretending" we didn't notice the usher come up the stairs. He pointed his flashlight at us.

"Are you the two causing the disturbance?" He asked firmly.

"Um… no?" I grinned.

"I'm going to have to ask you two to leave."

"Are you serious?" I frowned.

"Yes. Please leave now."

"Crap. Tom!" I yelled in a harsh whisper.

"Sorry." I heard him mumble as we got out of our seats and walked down the stairs. Just as we were turning to leave the theater Tom and I looked at Bill. He was sitting there with a huge grin on his face, waving at us as we left. Tom playfully flipped him off and we left.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"Good job Tom." I said as we were ushered outside the El Capitan.

"Well it was a boring movie anyway." Tom shrugged.

"I wanted to see it!" I pouted.

"Oh my God…" I heard someone behind us say. I turned around to see two girls staring at us with their jaw dropped. I looked back at Tom and my eyes widened. We forgot to put our hats and sunglasses back on! People suddenly stopped and about 10 seconds later screaming started.

"Shit…" Tom said under his breath and grabbed my hand. We started to back up and then we broke into a run. I looked behind to see a group of fan girls screaming and running after us. Yes, I happened to be very famous. Partially because my best friends were Tokio Hotel and also my show was very successful on Disney Channel for the last 2 years now.

"Excuse us!" I yelled at the people in front of us we were trying to dodge. It must have been a sight to see, two people running for their lives and a group of screaming girls behind them. We turned a corner, but it wasn't a smart move because it was an alley.

"Crap!" I said, as we were smashed into the wall. Tom and I turned around and things were being thrust in front of us to sign, and so many flashes were going off!

"Oh my God! I love you Sadie! Here! Sign this!" "Tom! Sign my chest!" Tom and I cringed as the girls screamed.

"Hey! Back up!" I heard loud whistles and looked over the top of the girls. Six cops were standing behind them. Thank God!

"Move! Back away!" They said as they made their way towards us. Tom squeezed my hand. "Move!" Pretty soon their were 2 cops in front of us, and the other 4 cops were standing in the middle holding the fans back, making a path for us.

"Thank you." I got out as the cops lightly grabbed my arm and pushed us through the crowd of fans. The girls would grab Toms shirt and the cops would push them away. The flashes were still going off and there was more screaming.

We finally made it out of the sea of fans and the cops surrounded us.

"Where are you trying to go?" One asked with a buzz cut.

"Um…" I looked near the Kodak Theater and saw a Johnny Rockets in the mall. "Johnny Rockets."

"Ok. We'll get you there." They said and escorted us to the mall.

"Johnny Rockets?" Tom asked.

"Yea. Bill said we were getting food after words so we might as well go there." I said.

Johnny Rockets was empty which was perfect.

"Can we keep this place empty for a few hours?" Tom asked the manager.

"Of course Mr. Kaulitz." The manager recognized Tom and had the front door locked.

"Thank you." Tom said and sat down at a table in the middle of the restaurant. The buzz cut cop was in the restaurant with us, and Tom waved him over.

"Look, my brother and his date are over at the El Capitan. Their movie should be ending in about 45 minutes. Can you escort them over here when it's done?"

"No problem." Buzz cut said managed to get out front door. The fans were standing all around the building, faces pressed against the glass, screaming trying to get our attention.

"Wow…" I sighed. "Look what your stupid popcorn idea got us into to!"

"Hey! You threw popcorn too!" Tom defended himself.

"Yea…" I said and then laughed. "Tom, you have sharpie all over your arm."

"Damn…" Tom tried to look angry, but couldn't help to laugh. "Scary fan girls."

***

"What the hell happened?" Bill asked as soon as we has safe inside Johnny Rockets with Carol, away from the screaming girls outside. He took off his hat and sunglasses and sat them on the table, and pulled Carols chair out for her.

"Thanks." She smiled and he sat down next to her.

"Well when you got us kicked out, we forgot to put on our hats and sunglasses." I started.

"A bunch of girls saw us and then chased us down into an ally. Cops came and escorted us here." Tom finished.

"Lovely." Bill grinned. "Nice arm Tom."

"Yea and its all your fault." I pretended to be mad.

"Oh come one. You know loved to be chased down by fan girls." Bill said.

"Sometimes, but not tonight." Tom grabbed a menu. "We haven't ordered because we've been waiting for you two."

***

The boys decided to give Carol a ride home, that way her Aunt didn't have to come pick her up. Since the boys were just visiting and had left their cars in Germany, we arranged a driver to drive us where we wanted to go. I barley ever drove my white corvette; it just sat in my garage and collected dust. Our driver arrived right outside the mall as we left Johnny Rockets. Of course we had the police escorting us to the car. As soon as we were in, the fans pushed themselves up to the glass so they could see in. We just ignored them and talked amongst ourselves.

"Where to?" Ronald, our driver asked.

"Burbank." Carol answered and gave the address. Ronald put into his GPS and the pulled away from the mall, leaving the screaming girls to chase after the car.

"So got any siblings?" I asked Carol. I figured I should know _something_ about her.

"Nope. Only child."

"Awesome. Me too!" I loved being an only child. Nobody to bother me, nobody to share stuff with, nobody to steal the attention from me… I know I sound like a brat, but seriously, I loved it. "I love being a only child."

"Its ok I guess… kind of lonely." Carol shrugged.

"Well that's what parents are for. To pay attention to you." I said.

"Yea… well mine travel a lot. That's why I live with my aunt." Carol fumbled with her cell phone.

"Aw! That's sad!" Bill said a bit over dramatically.

"Yea. I don't even really like my aunt that much. She is _so _uptight and girly. Its kind of annoying." Carol went on. "Like she will sometimes wake me up at 5am and drag me to an aerobics class and make me drink wheat grass shots."

"How horrible!" I think Bill was horrified. He hated exercising, wheat grass and getting up early. "5am? That should be a sin!" Carol laughed.

"I know." Carol sighed. "I think we have to do that tomorrow morning to."

"I will call you so hopefully getting up that early isn't so terrible." Bill smiled.

"I'll be looking forward to it." Carol blushed.

***

I lay down on my bed and stared at the ceiling, as soon as I walked into my hotel room. Bill had walked Carol to the door and came back smiling like an idiot.

"What?" I asked.

"I kissed her."

"And she kissed you back?"

"Yup!" Bill squealed like a little kid all the way back to the hotel.

Tom walked into my room and sat on the edge of my bed.

"Looks like Bill didn't need your help at all." I turned on my side and leaned on my elbow,

"Yea. my little brother is finally growing up." Tom pretended to tear up and I smacked him with a pillow.

"Hey!" Tom grabbed the other pillow and smacked me back, which caused me to fall on my back again. Tom then grabbed my arms, pinned them above my head, and leaned over me, his face just a few inches from mine.

"I'm tired right now and I don't feel like getting into a pillow fight…" He whispered with a smirk. I just stared at him, not knowing what to say or do. Next thing I know Tom's lips are brushing against mine, when my cell phone started to ring. Tom took his hands off my arms and let me grab my cell phone.

"He- hello?" I said into the phone, blushing like mad, while I sat up.

"Hey honey. Its 2am and you haven't called me. I was getting worried." My mother said.

"Yea um…" I glanced at Tom who was looking at the floor, confused. "Sorry. I forgot."

"Well that's ok. I'll be seeing you tomorrow right?"

"Mhmm." Tom then got up and went into his room, closing the door behind him. "Yea… I love you too. Bye." I hung up and stared at the door. I couldn't _believe_ what had just happened. Tom Kaulitz, my best friend, just kissed me!  
"Damn phone." I muttered. I didn't even have a chance to kiss him back! He may be my best friend, but he's also my dead sexy best friend, which I would definitely not mind kissing. What a minute… why did he leave? Did he not mean to do that? Was that not suppose to happen?

I went into my bathroom and looked in the mirror, picturing Tom holding me in his arms. I had to admit, I did love the image, but I don't think that will ever happen. Probably his hormones got the best of him, and before he could think he was kissing me. Well… not really _kissing_... more like lips touching and nothing happening. Maybe something _would_ have happened if my stupid phone hadn't gone off. I should have left it on vibrate…

I changed in to my pjs and climbed into bed. Tom was my best friend, and that's all he'll ever be… right?


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

I couldn't sleep at all that night. Too many thoughts. I had walked out onto the patio, to think outside, away from the place that Tom had "kissed" me. As I was standing there I didn't notice that Tom too couldn't sleep, and was watching me from his bed. The young man sat up, leaning against the headboard with his arms crossed, frowning. He was confused. This girl was like a little sister to him. You don't go around kissing your sister. He probably kissed her without even realizing what he was doing, he thought. Would he take it back if he could? No. He secretly liked the way his lips felt against hers, even if it was less then a second.

I went back to my room around 3:30am and tried to get some sleep. I eventually fell asleep, but it was a restless sleep because I kept dreaming about Tom. In my dreams we were "more then friends." Not that it was likely to happen.

My phone rang the next morning at 6:30, signaling it was time to wake up. The boys and I both had to leave the hotel by 9. We had things that we had to do. The boys had to get to Las Vegas for a show tonight and I had an interview and had to meet with Dawn, my agent, about what I had to do for the next few days. I slowly crawled out of my bed and walked to the bathroom, grabbing a towel.

I joined the guys at the table down in the lobby after I was showered and dressed at 7:30. I sat next to Tom, who was in mid conversation, laughing and joking with the other guys. He turned to me as soon as he finished his sentence, smiled and started talking to the guys again. It was pretty much like that the entire time we had breakfast. He would smile and try to include me in the conversations, acting as if _nothing_ had happened the night before. At first I was a little upset. I wanted to talk about it, but I could understand if he didn't want to talk about it in front of everyone.

At 8 we all went back upstairs to finish packing. I gathered all my bathroom products and threw them in my bag, thanking God I didn't have as much as Bill.

"Guess now, is as good as time as ever." I said as soon as I finished packing. I knocked on Toms door that connected our rooms.

"Hey Tom I-" I entered his room to see everyone sitting on his bed either watching or play video games.

"Ok… never mind." I mumbled and sat on the bed next to Gustav, sighing.

"Something wrong?" Gustav asked.

"Oh uh no." I smiled. "Just tired."

"That is why I am the smart one out of the group. I got to sleep at a decent hour."

"I did go to sleep at a decent hour!"

"I don't think after 2am qualifies as a "decent" hour."

"You win." I laughed.

"I know." Gustav said happily and looked back at the TV.

"Ok guys! Time to get moving!" David said as he entered the room.

"No! I was beating Tom!" Bill whined.

"You will never beat me little bro." Tom smirked, getting up from the floor.

"Well I would have if we didn't have to go…" Bill pouted.

"You would have probably ended up losing anyway." Tom scooted past the guys and grabbed his suitcase that was next to me.

"Where is your stuff?" He asked looking around me.

"In my room. I'll go get it." I headed into my room, with Tom following. Just as I was grabbing the handle to my suitcase, Tom spoke up.

"Look Sadie… about last night…" Yes finally! We are going to talk about it!

"It never happened ok?" My cheering ended in my head immediately.

"Excuse me?" I dropped the handle to my suitcase.

"Nothing happened last night." He repeated.

"But Tom-"

"_Nothing_" Tom turned around and left. No, he wasn't mean about it. At least the tone of his voice wasn't. It was just serious; he didn't sound angry or anything. How can he say that though? That nothing happened last night. He fricken kissed me! Why can't he just deal with it and talk to me about it! I sighed and grabbed my suitcase, dragging it behind me as I went to the hallway where the guys were waiting.

"Got everything?" David asked and I nodded. "Good. Lets go."

We got to the lobby with our stuff, Bill only carrying a small duffle bag. The tour roadies had the rest of his 10 bags. Outside the screams of fans were heard but we ignored them.

"Ok boys. We have to go." David checked his watch. "Say your goodbyes." I turned to the four boys and gave each of them a hug.

"Stay in touch with Carol ya? She seems cool." I said as I hugged Bill.

"You can stay in touch with her better then I can." Bill retorted. "You live near her. I should be saying the same thing to you."

"You just did." I pulled away.

"Ok well… I'll stay in touch and you stay in touch."

"Deal." I laughed and moved on to the last boy. Tom.

"Bye Sadie…" Tom said he was going into the hug but then whispered. "I'm sorry if I sounded rude up there, but I think it's better if we act like nothing happened."

"Umm… yea ok…" I tried not sound disappointed. I don't think Tom caught on that I was.

"See ya." Tom pulled away.

"When am I seeing you guys again?"

"As soon as you get a break." Georg said. "It's not like we can just up and leave tour ever."

"I expect to see you before the month ends." Bill said seriously. I shrugged.

"I'll talk to Dawn and see what we can come up with."

"Sadie?" I turned around expecting to see a fan, but I was definitely wrong.

"Sean?" I was shocked to see him. I hadn't talked to the boy in almost 3 years.

"Hey baby!" Sean quickly walked up and hugged me. I didn't hug back, but stared at him as he pulled away. Sean had dark brown eyes, tan skin, a bit muscular and dressed in a baggy skater fashion. His style reminded a lot of Tom's, but it wasn't _as_ baggy. "Looking sexy!" Sean eyed me up and down.

"What… you didn't miss me all these years?" Sean pretended to frown.

"Why would I miss you?" I couldn't believe him. "All you did was upset me."

"I didn't mean to. I'm sorry babe. I tried to make it up to you."

"Like how? Writing me stupid love notes saying you're sorry, and then going and upsetting me again, and then sending me numerous text messages? That's not making it up to me." I crossed my arms and did not look happy.

It's not as bad you are thinking. It's just the boy annoyed and upset me. See, I use to go to school with him, before Disney signed me. I met him my freshmen year, but started hanging out with him after school in the computer lab sophomore year, while I waited for my dad to pick me up. At first it was fun to hang out and talk to Sean. He would save a computer next to him, for me to use, and then we would joke and laugh and get in trouble for being too loud. One day his jokes went too far and I got a bit upset. He then got mad that I got mad, and then when my dad arrived I got up not saying goodbye. Sean got mad at that too and sent me a ton of text messages, which I would get very annoyed with and then I would not talk to him the rest of the day. Sad thing was I had to see him after school in the computer lab, because I had nowhere else to go. Most of the time the only chair open was the chair next to him, because all the other chairs were taking.

I remember sitting down next to him the next day after school, and him whispering I should look under the keyboard. I found a note with him saying how sorry he was and how he wants us to remain friends, with random hearts everywhere. I then got over everything he said before and we went back to being friends. However, he did it again, and again, and again. It went on for about 3 weeks, with those stupid love notes too, and I couldn't take it anymore.

I had a job at the time so I had my co-worker text him, telling him that he better leave me alone or else he was going to get the principal involved. He also sent Sean a picture of him looking all scary. I would come to work sometime in tears because of the things he would say to me. I honestly don't remember what he said, because I made my self forget them. All I know, it was enough to make me cry.

After that text was sent, Sean left me alone and I hadn't seen or talked to him… until now.

"Yea well… I was dumb and immature back then."

"Got that right…" I mumbled. Tom pulled me aside.

"Is this… that boy you told me about?" I had told Tom about Sean over a year ago. We were discussing people that annoyed us and I talked about Sean. Tom instantly didn't like the guy when he heard that Sean made me cry. Tom was very protective of me.

"Yea." I said flatly.

"Do you want me to get security?"

"No not yet." I shook my head. "He hasn't done anything." I turned back to Sean, who was looking at Bill weirdly.

"What do you want Sean?" I asked, trying to look annoyed, which wasn't that difficult.

"I just wanted to get you back."

"Get me back?"

"Yea..."Sean glanced at Tom, who was not smiling. "I mean like as a friend."

"I don't know about that Sean." I studied my nails.

"Come on babe." Sean pleaded. "I've changed. I really have."

"You want to associate with someone who _begs_ to be your friend?" Tom glared at Sean and I shrugged. Maybe Sean had changed… He was certainly _a lot_ cuter… maybe even cute enough that I would date him. I don't know about the rest of him though. I'll never know if I never give him a chance though.

"Um…" I said and Seans eyes widened. "I guess… I'll give you another chance."

"Thank you!" Sean hugged me again with a huge grin spread across his face.

"Yea mhmm…" I brushed off my arms when Sean let go.

"Sadie." Tom looked a little mad. "You tell me how awful this guy has been to you and how you never want to see him again, but when he shows up you agree to being friends with him!"

"Tom, it's called second chances." Tom and I had moved away from the crowd again.

"Isn't he past that already?" Tom looked at Sean out of the corner of his eye. "Besides, he probably only wants to get into your pants." Tom had watched Sean stare at me as though he was undressing me with his eyes.

"Yea well not to sound cocky, like you, but a lot of guys want to get into my pants and you have no problem with them." I said seriously.

"Those guys are different!"

"How?"

"You won't ever be spending one on one time with them! I know how guys think Sadie."

"I spend one on one time with you, and there is _never _a problem."

"That's because I don't think of you like that. You're like my little sister." Tom breathed.

"Tom!" Bill called as he and the guys left the hotel, to the world of the screaming girls.

"Coming!" Tom yelled and then took my hand. "Let me know if he trys anything, and I mean _anything _Sadie." I nodded my head and he gave me a quick hug again and then turned to leave. "Bye!"

I just waved and put on a fake smile.

_That's because I don't think of you like that. You're like my little sister._ I sighed. You think of me as your little sister?


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

I was pushed into the car by a security guard, leaving the screaming fans back at the hotel.

"Hello." Dawn said. She was sitting in the front seat of the car. Dawn managed only me so she was able to go to most of my events. When I hang out with Tokio Hotel, it is sort of her break. Tokio Hotel's management and security protect me and keep me up to date on what is going on.

I had gotten Sean's number and said I would text/call him sometime soon. I didn't really want to give him my number yet. Who knows what he would do with it. He could end up giving it to some crazy fans that would _love_ to call me at 3am just to talk to me.

I wasn't all that excited to Sean, but in a way it was nice to see a familiar face. Why Sean was even trying to keep in touch was beyond me. Of course it probably had something to do with me being famous, but that couldn't be the only reason. Maybe he wanted to be friends, or maybe more? The way Tom said he was looking at me; I'm guessing he wanted to be more then friends. I loved that Tom is over protective of me, but he really didn't have anything to worry about. Sean and I are just friend, and if Sean did anything to upset me again our friendship would end for good.

"Hi."

"You look tired." Dawn observed.

"Yea. Late night." I mumbled and looked out the window. It's not that I didn't want to talk to her; it's just that I was so tired all I wanted to do was sleep.

"Well you need to start going to sleep earlier." Dawn said in a motherly tone.

"Yea… I know…" Oh look. A tree.

"The agenda for today is pretty light. Just an interview and a quick photo-op afterwards." Dawn read off the list on her lap.

"What do I have to do for the photo thing?"

"Just take some pictures with a few fans, the producer and Ryan O'Brien."

"Ryan O'Brien?" I looked at her.

"He hosts a new TV talk show on E!" Dawn answered.

"Oh… ok." I yawned and looked at my phone. _1 new text from Tom_, it read.

_Did you give that Sean kid your number? _Over protective Tom.

_No. I'm not stupid enough to do that._ I texted back.

_Well you've been known to do some pretty stupid things._ The text read that I got from Tom a few minutes later.

_:p_. I pushed send and leaned back against the seat with my eyes closed.

"Hair and make up there?" I asked, my eyes still closed.

"Yes."

"How long till we get there?"

"20 minutes." Dawn said and saw me get comfortable. "Just remember you have to wake up when you get there."

"Mhmm…" I murmured and fell asleep.

***

Dawn woke me up 5 minutes before we got to the studio so I wouldn't look _so_ tired getting out of the car. As soon as I walked into the studios back door I was greeted by lots of people.

"Hi. Hello. It's nice to see you. I'm fine." Were some of the things I said to the people who talked to me. Dawn grabbed my arm gently and led me through a door that ended up to be the hair and make up room.

"Here she is." Dawn said stepping in and closing the door.

"Well aren't you cute!" The hairdresser squealed.

"Uh… thanks." I was still a bit shy when I got a compliment. Yes, I know I should be use to it, but it's helped me to stay humble.

"Sit right here." The make up artist pointed to a director's chair. "We'll have you dolled up in no time."

They were right. It only took them 15 minutes to get me ready. They straightened my long curly hair, but then added a bit of curl to the ends of it. The make up was simple but I asked that they use lots of eyeliner. Nothing nearly as dramatic as Bills, but a lot nonetheless.

They finished just in time. Dawn came in just as they were putting on the last bit of eyeliner to tell me that I had 6 minutes before I had to go on the show. I thanked the ladies and walked out with Dawn following. A crewmember took me to the area where the actual show was going to happen. He explained that Ryan O'Brien would say my name, there would be applause and then I would come out.

"What if they ask about the whole drinking party thing?" I asked Dawn as I stared out at the studio audience.

"Try to play it off and make it seem like it wasn't _as_ bad as the magazines make it." I nodded.

"Hi. I'm Ryan O'Brien." I turned to see Ryan standing with his hand out.

"Sadie." I smiled and shook his hand.

"See you in a few." Ryan said politely and walked out to the set. Interviews never really got me nervous. I just have to think a lot before I speak so I don't end up saying something I'll regret.

"Here she is. Sadie Hawkins." Ryan smiled and the audience clapped, signaling I need to get out there. I walked onto the set with a big grin and sat on the chair next to Ryan.

"How are you?" Ryan said a bit over the top.

"I'm good." I said simply.

"Good. So what have you been up to lately?" Ryan asked.

"Well, I've been on a little hiatus for about a month now and hanging out with Tokio Hotel. You know, like going to their concerts and just hanging out and stuff."

"How fun."

"Yea it's been nice because I haven't had this amount of time off in a long time." I smiled.

"We saw the pictures." Ryan said and pulled out the copy of _Us Weekly _where I wearing a huge grin on my face, holding a glass bottle and dancing amongst a crowd of guys.

"Yea…" I half smiled. "It wasn't as bad as it looks."

"So are you denying to have been drunk that night?" Ryan said.

"No I'm not. Yes I was drunk that night but there was defenitately no going to anybody's house that night like the magazine says."

"Because you're underage and the guy could be arrested?"

"Well that too. It's not my thing and I'm not stupid enough to do that. Plus the Tokio boys are always looking out for me when I go to clubs with them. They are like my older brothers. They don't let anything happen to me." I folded my hands on my lap.

"Do you have any examples of them watching out for you?" Ryan asked.

"Yea. There was one time when I was at a club in Germany and yes I was drinking. I was just a bit buzzed and-"

"Does Disney have a problem with your drinking?" Ryan interrupted me.

"At first they did and I think they still do just a bit. It's not like I do it in America. It's not legal here. In Germany it is considered completely normal."

"Do you think parents are getting that you are being a bad role model?'

"I didn't get into show business so I could be a role model. I'm in it because I love acting. I never said people should look up to me. Actually I've heard a lot of teens like that I'm not afraid to party."

"Because there hasn't been a Disney star that shown that side?"

"Yea. Most people think you have to be a perfect angel all the time, which I don't agree with. Just because I work for Disney does not mean I have to be good all the time. I'm a teenager that wants to have fun. And If I think partying is fun, then I will do it. Obviously I'm not partying hard enough to have had anything bad happen to me." I paused. "I think teens appreciate me for being real, for not trying to be a perfect goody too shoes all the time."

"Ahh ok." Ryan looked at his cards. "The fans want to know, who was that girl that was with you guys yesterday in Hollywood?"

"She is a friend of ours. We met her at a meet n greet two days ago."

"The fans say she was seen walking with Bill most of the time. Any reason why?" Ryan prodded.

"Well I was busy talking to Tom probably, but umm… You're going to have to talk to Bill about that one." I smirked and heard the audience go "ooooo!"

"If we ever have the boys on the show I will remember to ask them that." Ryan said and looked back down at his cards.

I got asked the basic questions as the interview went on. Why I got in to acting, what's my favorite part of the business, who has been my favorite celebrity to hang out with (which of course I said Tokio Hotel) and of course, are you and Tom more then friends? I answered a polite no and left it at that. In the back of my mind I was saying 'yes! I mean no! Ugh I don't know!'


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Wow… that had to be one of the most boring interviews ever. I've got news for you Ryan O'Brian. You want your show to be a hit? Make it more interesting.

My day was over and right now I was laying on my bed looking up at the glow n the dark stars that were scattered all over my ceiling. Tom was over at my house one day and we were really bored so we decided to put glow n the dark stars everywhere. We made tons of different patterns and constellations, including an area right above me that said _T n S=BFF_ in star form. Yes it's a bit juvenile and yes we only knew each for about 2 years at the time, but we didn't care. I smiled remembering the day Tom put his last star on the ceiling. He was so concentrated on putting the star in the right place that he didn't even hear me come in. I guess I startled him and he fell off my bed and hit the ground, managing to land on his right side. His arm was a bit bruised but he was ok.

I didn't realize how much I missed my room. For the past month that I've been on hiatus I've been traveling with Tokio Hotel. I had a lot of fun to. Normally I get up early in the morning and get ready to film my TV show or do some press thing, but with Tokio Hotel it was to watch _them_ do a press thing or a concert. In between we would go places and do things together. Everyday I still wonder why the heck Tokio Hotel would even _want_ to hang with me. I'm just a normal girl. I don't sleep around (Still a virgin. Proud of it), I'm not all that exciting, I'm not the prettiest girl they could have around and well… I don't know. They must think I'm fun and exciting to want to keep me around.

Tomorrow was a basically a beauty day for me. I have to get my hair re-dyed, new extensions, eyebrows waxed, a light tan and a mani and pedi. I have to get almost of all of this done once or twice a month. It's very relaxing (except the whole eyebrow waxing), but it's not that fun. I normally go with my mom or Dawn. Like I said earlier, I don't have many friends. It's hard to trust people who only like you because you're famous. My life is very lonely most of the time. I got a hold of my friends in Northern California, but they all said I changed. Changed? I wasn't the one who had changed. They did. They suddenly wanted me to go everywhere with them and take a ton of pictures with me and make youtube videos with them. I declined to some of their offers and they got offended. Said some stuff like I'm too embarrassed to be seen with them, which is not true. I just didn't want them to brag that I was their friend. I don't mean to sound cocky, but can't they just be happy that I'm _their_ friend?

I suddenly had an idea.

"I'll call Carol tomorrow…" I murmured to myself and rolled on to my side, shutting my eyes.

***

I was in the bathroom washing my face when my cell phone rang. It was sitting on the counter in front of me, so I grabbed it.

_One of my guitar strings broke on stage last night! - Tom._

_I thought you said, "I never mess up on stage." _I smiled and texted back. I set my phone back down and wiped my face off.

_I've got sunshine_

_On a cloudy day_

_When its cold outside_

_I've got the month of May_

Tom was calling.

"Hey." I answered and laid the towel down on the counter top.

"I usually don't!" Tom exclaimed.

"What happened?" I walked back in my room, trying to decided weather to sit on my chair or lay on my bed.

"We were in the middle of _Break Away_ and I guess I was playing too hard and the string snapped!"

"Guess you shouldn't play so hard huh?" I chose my bed.

"Yea! It was so bad Sadie! We had to stop the whole song!"

"Did you end up playing it from the beginning?" I asked generally interested.

"We had to! I had forgotten where we left off and I'm not very good at starting in the middle of the song. It was terrible." Tom sighed. "Pity me."

"Tom…" I laughed. "I'm sure it wasn't _that_ bad."

"Of course it was! I'm perfect! I never mess up!" Tom sounded sad.

"Oh yea… I forgot you were." I snickered.

"How could you forget something important like that?" I could tell he was smiling.

"I don't know… just must have slipped my mind."

"Yea-" Tom stopped talking. "Ugh! I have to go! Talk to you later. Bye!" I laid my phone down, but quickly picked it up again and started going through my contacts.

"Bill…Bill…Bill… Ah!" I found him. "Why haven't I put him on speed dial yet…" I pushed _talk_ and it called him.

"Sadie!"

"Bill!"

"You called?"

"Yes. I need Carols number."

"Why? Didn't you write it down?"

"Yea, but I gave the paper to you."

"Well next time you should put it in your phone."

"I will this time when you give me the number."

"Good because-"

"Bill…" I paused. "I just need her number."

"Oh right. Hold on… Ok its 555-6666."

"Thanks Bill." I hung up and dialed her number and waited for her to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Carol!"

"Uh… who is this?"

"Sadie."

"Oh… oh hey!" Carol said, realization hitting her.

"Hey. So are you doing anything today?" Please say no.

"Nope. I'm free."

"Want to hang out? I sorta have like a beauty day today and I don't really want to go with my manager or my mom."

"Ok, I don't really have the money-"

"It's cool. I'll pay. My treat." I hope I don't sound too desperate.

"Oh… Ok then." Carol sounded happy. "I just need to check with my aunt. Hold on." Carol put the phone down. I wonder how it would sound to ask 'Hey Aunt? Is it ok if I go hang out with Sadie Hawkins? You know that Disney Channel star who's best friend with Tokio Hotel?' Sounds cool to me.

"She said yes." Carol said when she returned to the phone.

"Great." I looked at my alarm clock. 10:30. "Can you be ready by 12? I have a hair appointment in Beverly Hills at 12:45."

"Yea."

"Ok cool. See you at 12." I hung up my phone and laid it on my bed. "Oh dang, I need to get ready!"

***

I pulled on some Black short shorts and a band tee and was ready to go out the door. Carols house wasn't that far away so we got there in good time. We got to the salon just in time. I called ahead to make sure they could fit Carol in. They could.

It was really fun hanging with Carol. We laughed and joked about everything. A lot of the time she wanted to hear about my life with Tokio Hotel and I gladly supplied her tons of crazy stories about them. I wasn't mad that she wanted to know about that. If I were her, I would probably be asking lots of questions about them to. It was nice to just hang with a girl my age that wasn't _that_ into my celebrity life. Yes she did ask about Tokio Hotel, but that was about it when it came to my public life. We exchanged stories about how stupid boys can be and the funny things we use to do when we were young. I was excited because I knew I _finally _found a true friend.

We had just finished getting our eyebrows done and were slipping on big sunglasses to cover them up because they were red.

"Hey Sadie!" I heard Seans voice as soon as we stepped out of the salon.

"Are you following me?" I asked straight out.

"No." Sean laughed. "I work at the Taco Bell over there." He pointed to one that was in the parking lot. "I heard some people saying a Disney Channel star was getting her nails done, and I wanted to see if it was you."

"Yup. It was me." I said enthusiastically.

"Are you hungry? Have you eaten yet? Because if not you should come to my work." Sean put his hands in his pockets. I looked over at Carol and she shrugged.

"Sure. Why not." Carol and I followed Sean back to Taco Bell and got in line. Sean was in the back for a few moments but was back as soon as Carol and I were at the front.

"I've got it covered babe. Get whatever you want." Sean said flirtatiously.

"No. I'll pay." I said with no emotion. I didn't want to be all nice with Sean yet. Maybe later… when we are more of friends again.

"Whatever." Sean smiled. "What would you like?" Carol and I both ordered 2 soft tacos each, only Carol's had no lettuce. She said something like 'I don't like warm soggy lettuce.' Whatever floats her boat. I personally like it.

"I'll bring the orders to you guys. I wouldn't want you to waste your energy walking up here." Sean grinned and I just rolled my eyes and sat down with Carol.

Suddenly flashes appeared out of nowhere. Photographers were running up to the window and taking pictures of Carol and I. Carol looked a little surprised but I just looked away.

"Just ignore them." I said, annoyed.

"Ok… You deal with this everyday?" Carol asked, shock written all over her face.

"Yea…" Sean was smirking but stopped when he saw me looking at him.

"That must suck." Carol couldn't help but stare at the paparazzi.

"Yes it does." I sighed. Sean was walking towards us with a tray of tacos and 2 drinks (I told him no drinks) as a man walked in from outside. Sean was just about set the tray down when the man whipped out a camera and started taking pictures like crazy. The man bumped into Sean, which made him accidentally throw the tray at Carol and I.

"Ah!" I screeched jumping up from me seat. There was dark soda _all over_ Carol and I.

"What the hell!" I exclaimed at the photographer.

"Get out before I call the cops!" Sean yelled and escorted the man to the door. Carol and I took napkins and dabbed at our clothes. I watched as Seans angry expression faded as he exchanged glanced with the photographer. The two seemed to be having a conversation with their eyes. When they finished Seans anger came back and he slammed the door shut.

"I'm _so_ sorry about that Sadie!" Sean said apologetically.

"Whatever…" I growled.

"Just so you know, " I looked at Carol. "Don't be surprised if you see your face all over those gossip sites and magazines tomorrow." Carol looked a little scared.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

A whole month has gone by since I've seen the boys. I know I was supposed to go see them, but plans have changed. The boys were suppose to go back to Germany to record their 3rd album for a month, and then come back and finish the rest of the American tour, but as I stated before, plans have changed. Instead of recording, the boys are coming back to LA to do some promotion for the rest of their tour. I'm _so _excited to see them. Tom and I text and talk on the phone everyday, but being with him is better. The best part is, they will be here for the next few weeks. Yay!

I found out that Carol doesn't really have any friends out here either. She moved away from her parents in Florida and is now living in California with her Aunt. I guess she was having problems with her parents and just wanted to get away. Her Aunt offered to take her and now she is here. She'd only been here a week when I met her, so she didn't really have time to make friends. She was telling me how her friends back at home didn't believe that she was friends with me, so I called them and I seriously went deaf for like 5 seconds on the phone. They couldn't stop screaming and yelling "Oh my God! You are _actually_ friends with _the_ Sadie Hawkins! Oh my God! Sadie Hawkins knows Tokio Hotel! AHHHHHH!!!!!" So now Carol and I are really good friends. She is able to go do a lot of things with me because she does Independent Study like me. Our teacher gives us work once a week and we complete it and turn it in the following week.

"Wait, when are they coming?" Carol asked. We were on our way to the hotel they were staying at. We decided to meet them at their rooms instead of at the airport. I didn't feel like dealing with the fans there.

David had called ahead and let the hotel staff know about us meeting the boys there, so we could get the room keys.

"They'll be there in like 25 minutes." I looked at my cell phone.

"Maybe I can get an actual introduction this time…" Sean eyed me.

"Maybe." I smiled. Things with Sean and I have been getting better. Carol and I have been hanging out with him for the past few weeks and he isn't as bad as he use to be. Yes, he still totally flirts it up with me, but other then that everything is good. I can actually call him more of a "friend" then an "acquaintance."

The three of us walked through the hotel lobby to the front desk. They gladly handed me a room key card and a sheet that said what rooms it would work.

"Hurry up." I said to Sean, who was lagging behind, as we headed to the elevator. They had the top floor to themselves (which had less rooms, but the rooms were bigger), so I randomly picked room 1504.

"We'll wait in this room." I inserted the key card and was led into a nice size suite; complete with a king sized bed, huge bathroom, living room and kitchen.

"Nice digs." Sean commented walking in the door, to stop and admire a little angel statue.

"Don't touch anything." I watched Sean touch one of the angel wings.

"It's not going to bre-" The angel wing then cracked.

"OK then…" Sean looked weirded out and stepped away from the statue.

"Told you." I smirked. I heard screaming outside the hotel and ran up to the window, Carol and Sean following.

"Their back." I said happily. Tom's back!

"Yay! Oh, I need to touch up my makeup!" Carol ran into the bathroom and pulled out her makeup bag.

"I guess it's just you and me babe." Sean smirked.

"Shut up." I said half amused and sat on the edge of the bed. Sean sat next to me. The screaming outside died out outside. I guess there're in the hotel now.

"I'm glad we're friends." Sean said out of the blue.

"Huh?" That was random.

"I didn't think you would give me the time of day again." Sean said shyly.

"Why?" I stared at him.

"Because you're this famous actress now that everybody loves."

"Yea so… doesn't mean I wouldn't want to be your friend again." I said, anxious to see my boys again.

Sean's cell phone went off and he ignored it. All of the sudden he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me into a kiss. What is it with guys and these random kisses? I was shocked but decided I was not going to do what I did with Tom last time. I was either going to kiss him or pull away. I chose to kiss him. I don't know why I did it. Maybe too see if there was a spark or something. Sean was pretty cute to, which I know was one of the reasons why I kissed him. Just as Sean was pulling me closer, the door to the room swung open. I pulled away to see a surprised Tom, but his expression quickly changed into anger.

"I think I'll get another room." Tom said quietly and walked out of the suite.

"Tom!" I pulled from Sean's grasp and ran after him. Tom was in the other suite across from the one I was just in.

"Tom." I entered and shut the door behind me.  
"Why were you kissing him?" Tom looked annoyed.

"Because he kissed me." I moved closer to him.

"So you kissed him back?"

"Yea." I crossed my arms.

"Why?" Tom crossed his arms also.

"Why do you care?" I stared.

"Sadie, I don't get you. You tell me how much this boy has hurt you and made you sad and upset, so you kiss him?" Tom voice sounded disgusted.

"Why do you care if I kissed him?" Now I was annoyed.

"Well excuse me for be a little caught off guard. You know, I wasn't expecting to walk in on you kissing a guy."

"And I wasn't expecting to be kissing him. He kissed _me_," I stressed the 'me.'

"And so you kissed him back?"

"Tom, all I was expecting was for you to walk in the door, all happy and cheery to see me, not seeing me kiss Sean! I didn't even know Sean was going to kiss me!"

"So why'd you kiss him?!" Tom yelled.

"Stop asking me that! You shouldn't even care anyway!" Why does he keep asking that? I really wanted to say 'Are you asking me why I kissed Sean back and not you?', but it never came out.

"Ugh fine!" Tom was frustrated and sat on the bed. "How are you?!" My annoyed expression turned into a smile. They way he asked it was funny. It was like 'HOW ARE YOU?!' instead of the nice 'How are you?'

"I'm fine." I sat next to him.

"Good." His voice had suddenly didn't sound so angry, just calm and pleasant.

"You act bi-polar." I laughed.

"No, I don't." Tom didn't sound very defensive.

"Yes you do. One minute your shouting, the next your all calm." I smiled.

"Yea well…" Tom shrugged, adjusting his shirt. I noticed a box shaped item in his pants, so I put my hands in his pocket and pulled out a box of cigarettes. It was easy to pull out because his pants were so fricken loose.

"Hey, easy off the goods!" Tom covered himself.

"I need a smoke!" I grabbed two cigarettes from the box and handed it back to him. "And I wasn't even near your "goods."

"How long has it been since you had one?" Tom asked, slipping the box back in his pocket.

"Since that night I smoked with you and Bill." Where did I put my lighter?

"Oh, a whole month? Good job." Tom lightly clapped. "You should quit."

"No! Besides I'm not even a smoker!"

"You've smoked more then twenty in your life." He pulled the two cigarettes out of my hand. "You're a smoker.

"Says you! You're the smoker!" I grabbed them back. "You're the one who carries around a whole dang pack everyday!"

"No I'm not." Tom crossed his arms.

"Why not?" I put the cigarettes behind my ears.

"Because I said so." Tom answered calmly.

"Then I'm not either."

"Yes you are." Tom smiled and grabbed one of my cigarettes.

"Why?" I took it back and put it behind my ear again.

"Because I said you are."

"Well... you're a smoker too." I stuck my tongue out.

"No I'm not."

"Go away." I half smiled.

"No. This is my room." Tom smirked.

"Ugh…" I sighed. "Just give me your damn lighter!" Tom handed his green one and I ran outside to the patio and lit one up.

After Tom and I had our cancer sticks, I had two and he had three, we walked back inside to check out where everyone was rooming. We walked out to the hallway and looked in each room we passed. We found the roadies in a few rooms and then found Georg, Gustav and Sean in another room, playing video games. I locked eyes with Sean and he smiled and gave a small wave. I just rolled my eyes and kept walking with Tom. The kiss with Sean wasn't that bad, but I was totally wishing that it were Tom I was kissing. I sighed and Tom noticed.

"Something wrong?" He asked.

"No. I'm fine." I smiled, but I really didn't feel like smiling. We were about to pass another room, when we looked in to see Bill holding Carol very close to him as they kissed.

"Quick Tom! Get your camera!!" I exclaimed, causing them to pull away quickly, blushes spreading across their cheeks.

"Oh don't' stop just because we're watching." Tom smirked. "Please, continue. It's the most action my brothers got in three years." The two blushed even harder.

"Yea. We wouldn't want to ruin the moment." I smiled.

"Psh…" Bill pouted and crossed his arms. "You already did."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

It was great having the boys back, but I didn't really get to spend much time with them. They had press and promotion, while I had to film _Rose of Respet_ episodes for the Disney. I got to see them maybe a few times a week for short periods of time.

It went on like this for about two weeks and I missed spending time with Tom. Now, I love the boys, but my favorite of the four of them was Tom. Every time I saw the boys I never got any one on one time with Tom, so he promised to hang out with me tomorrow night. See, he has the day off tomorrow and I have to film my TV show until 6. So he thought we should hang out after.

"Where do you want to go?" Tom asked into the phone.

"I don't know. Somewhere fun." I lay on my bed in my room, staring at a picture of Tom and I on my wall. I was sitting on his lap and we were both smiling into the camera, looking very happy to be with each other.

"Hmm…" Tom paused. "What about Disneyland?"

"Ya! It's been like a year since we've been there! Well… since you've been there." Being a Disney Star I have to go to Disneyland a lot to do promotion for Disney.

"Yea I know. It's been forever. We'll go after you're done filming."

"Isn't Bill going to want to go?" You should see Bill at Disneyland; he's like a little kid high on sugar.

"Naw, I don't think so. He and Carol have a date, like hanging out in the hotel or whatever. Says he doesn't want to go where there are a lot of people to bug him." Tom took his hat off and inspected it for dirt.

"I understand. Ok, so I'll meet you at the hotel because I'll be nearby."

"Great. See you later alligator." Tom started.

"In a while crocodile." I laughed. Yes, Tom and I still say that, even though it was old and lame.

Carol was spending the night at my house because she wanted too and I was glad of the company. It's just my mom and me most of the time. My parents got divorced when I was 4, so I haven't really seen much of my dad.

I was laying on my bed, resting my chin on my hand reading a magazine, while Carol sat on the floor against my bed painting her toe nails blood red.

"Do you like Tom?" Carol said out of the blue.

"Excuse me?" I looked up from my magazine.

"Do you like Tom?" Carol repeated.

"Yea, he's a cool guy." I went back to reading an article in the magazine.

"I mean, as _more_ then a friend?" Carol asked tentatively.

"What makes you say that?" I said quietly, suddenly not interested in the life of Lindsey Lohan.

"The way you act when you're with him." Carol put down the bottle of nail polish. I cocked my head, wanting to know what she was going to say,

"Like when you're are with him, you're happier more then usual. You always sit next to him no matter what, and… I've seen you look at him like he's the only one in the room." Carol got up from the floor and sat on the edge of my bed, her legs swinging over the edge. I sighed and closed the magazine.

"Is it that obvious?" I said in a small voice.

"Oh and a few times I've caught you staring at him like you're in deep thought. I don't think you even realize you're doing it. But umm yea… it is obvious… to me I guess." Carol said. "The boys are too oblivious to even notice those things."

"Good."

"How long have you liked him?"

"I… I don't even know. I guess it was when I met him. I've been looking at him like he's my best friend, but in the back of my mind I've had this huge crush on him." It was such a relief to finally tell somebody how I really felt.

"Who else knows?"

"Nobody. I've been in complete denial up to this point" I paused. "Ugh! I can't believe I like Tom Kaulitz!" I banged my head against the magazine in front of me.

"You make it sound like it's a bad thing." Carol laughed lightly.

"Well were _just_ supposed to be best friends. That's it!" I exclaimed.

"Why?" Carol crossed her arms.

"Because! That's… that's just how it is." I shrugged.

"So because that's how it's been, that's how it's always gunna be?" Carol asked.

"I guess…"

"Fine… but if I were you, I would tell him."

We continued to talk about Tom and I. Like why I couldn't be with him. Tom is totally into sex and one night stands and I'm not. Like I said before, I'm still a virgin. I've had boyfriends before, but we never went that far. I told Carol how I didn't think it would work if I didn't want to have sex all the time. She told me it's a sad thing when a relationship is based on sex or pleasing your man in different ways. But she also told me she thinks it wouldn't be like that with Tom and I. Because we're best friends already we don't have to have sex all the time to keep the other around but… I don't know… I don't really want ruin anything. I'd rather be best friends with him forever, then risk ruining our relationship.

***

Tom was enjoying his first day of sleeping in that he hadn't had in a while, when his cell phone rang, waking him up.

"Ugh… Who is calling me at… 10:30 in the morning?" Tom grabbed his phone and answered. "Hello? Yea this is he… Who are you…Wait that one blonde girl I was with last month? Yea I remember you…Yea?... I'm not doing anything… Yea?... The Hilton, Room 1506…Ok. See you later." Tom laid the cell phone on the bed, going back to sleep, not giving a second thought about the conversation he just had.

***

I stood next to Ryan, one of my co-stars and my love interest in the show, as we took pictures to promote the next episode. As soon as the camera stopped flashing my smile faded. I never really became friends with my cast mates. There was just something about them that bothered me. They acted as though they were the stars of the show, when they knew the show was _mine_. I never acted like a diva though, like they did. They always tried to get more camera time then I did when were promoting for the show or they were totally rude to the crew. They liked to pick fights with me, and one of them tried to start a rumor about me so I could get kicked off the show. There are so many things I hate about them, but why should I waste my time talking about them? Basically, I don't get along with my cast.

I was so excited when our director said we could finally go home. I had been thinking about spending time with Tom all day, and couldn't wait any longer. I hoped in my car and raced over to the hotel, making sure to put on my sunglasses and hood before leaving my car. It was pretty dark when I arrived at the hotel so it should be harder for people to spot us at Disneyland.

I walked up to the front desk and pulled off my sunglasses. The people behind the desk just nodded their heads and handed me the key to their floor. Because they had the whole fifteenth floor to themselves, you had to insert a key to get to that floor. I got off the elevator and passed Bills room, knowing Carol was in there with him. I couldn't help but smile, because Bill had finally found someone he could trust and love.

I stopped in front of room 1506 and knocked. No answer. I knocked again. Still no answer. I began to wonder if Tom had forgotten about us hanging out tonight, but didn't think it was possible for him to forget. I got out the key card and inserted it into the door, hoping it would work. The green light flashed, signaling that it did. I opened the door gently and started to hear weird noises, like someone breathing hard.

"Tom…" I heard a voice mutter. I opened the door a bit more and my heart skipped a beat. Tom had forgotten about tonight, or he was just blowing me off. He was in there, at it with that blonde that came last month to see him. Tears rushed to my eyes and I closed door quickly, but quietly before Tom could catch me in there.

I turned and hit the wall behind me before sliding my back down against it. How could he blow me off?! Just last night we made these plans! There was no way he could have forgotten! Ugh... and that was something I totally could have lived without seeing.I guess Carol heard me because she opened Bills door and peered out.

"Sadie?" Carol was surprised to see me. I wiped my tears and crossed my arms while staring at the floor.

"What happened?" Carol rushed to my side.

"He blew me off… He's in there with some slutty dumb blonde." I said with no emotion, but it was clear that I was upset.

"Sadie?" I looked up to see Bill standing outside his hotel room, a concerned expression across his face.

"Tom has a girl in the room with him right now…" Carol said quietly. Bill looked confused, but realization suddenly hit him.

"Oh Sadie!" Bill rushed to my other side. "I'm so sorry! Tom's a horny idiot and doesn't think about anyone but himself." I just nodded my head, feeling anger rise up in me.

"He knew we were suppose to hang out today…" I muttered bitterly. Carol and Bill exchanged glances.

"Why don't you hang with us?" Bill asked.

"What? No!" I finally made contact with the two. "You guys are on a date or whatever. I don't want to ruin it."

"It will be fine. Bill and I can always have a date night again." Carol said.

"You guys…." I protested.

"No. You are hanging out with us tonight. I don't think Carol and I should be having a good time, when you're clearly upset with my stupid brother." Bill said sympathetically.

"Yea… We're here for you." Carol nodded, agreeing with Bill.

"You guys… all Tom did was blow me off for a stupid blonde." I didn't want them to end their date because Tom didn't know how to control the thing in his pants.

"That's all he did? He hurt you!" Bill exclaimed.

"He didn't really hurt me." They were making too big a deal out of this. All I wanted to do was go home and have a good cry in my room.

"Sadie, I know you like him and I know this must totally suck for you." Bill said and I glared at Carol "Carol didn't tell me. I just knew. Yes I should be oblivious to this kind of stuff, but when a girl likes Tom I always know." I hung my head and felt the tears roll down.

"Don't cry over him. He's not worth it." Bill whispered and pulled me into a hug "And don't worry. I won't tell."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

I sat with my back to the end of the bed watching Spongebob Squarepants. I didn't think it was funny, but Bill and Carol did. Every few moments they would crack up like it was the most hilarious thing in the world. I thought the show was the most stupid thing in the world. Oh well, the least I could do was let them watch this since I ruined their date night.

I glanced around the room and saw a green box of Marlboro Menthol cigarettes. Nobody in the band smoked them except Tom and I. I got up, went to the table and shook one out.

"Lighter?" I said to Bill and he threw his at me. _Dang I really need to start carrying mine._ I went out to the patio, lit up my cigarette, took a long drag and then exhaled. _Why can't I tell Tom how I feel? It will make things better won't it? Well... unless he doesn't feel the same way. He has to though. He certainly acts like it. I guess… The only real proof I have that he actually likes me, is when he kissed me that day._ I still hated myself for not kissing him back and wished that I called my mom earlier. Maybe things would be different. Maybe I would be the girl in his room right _now_. Maybe not…

I finished up the cigarette and went back inside, but not before putting it out. I could see that Bill and Carol were highly concentrated on watching Spongebob play with his bubble buddy thing, so I slipped the box of cigarettes in pocket. My shirt was long, so it covered up the box shape.

At around 11, Tom decided to grace us with his presence.

"Bill!" Tom burst into Bill's room wearing only saggy jeans. _Damn_. "Oh my God! That blonde-" Tom stopped in the middle of his sentence and looked at me.

"Hey Sadie. What are you doing here?" Tom wore a confused expression. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my jacket.

"I'm out of here." I mumbled angrily, slightly bumping into Tom as I went out the door.

"What the- Sadie?" Tom was still confused. I pushed the button for the elevator and waited.

"You're a real inconsiderate bastard." Carol bluntly said. Bill was surprised at Carol remark, but then smiled at her and took her hand.

"What she said." Bill agreed.

"Why?" Tom was not getting it.

"Tonight? Disneyland? Ring any bells?" Bill asked.

"Oh..." Tom's eyes then widened. "Oh! Sadie!" Tom ran to the elevators, but it was too late. The doors were closing. I didn't attempt to reach out and push _Door Open_.

"Sadie! Ugh!" Tom saw the stair sign, flung the door open, and ran down 15 flights of stairs.

He got there just as I was walking out of the elevator.

"Why didn't you hold the elevator for me?" Tom breathed, trying to catch his breath.

"Too far to reach." I said with no emotion and walked towards the entrance of the hotel.

"Can you hold on?!" Tom yelled, having to run after to me because I was power walking. We got many weird stares from people. Flashes were going off. I could imagine what people were thinking. What would you think if you saw a half naked guy that could barley keep his pants on, chasing after a girl, after leaving a hotel room? Yea… I would think it to.

I ignored him and kept walking.

"Sadie!" Tom lightly grabbed my arm, but I jerked it away.

"Can we talk about this?" Tom yelled again, attracting more stares. I shook my head and headed to the valet, asking that they bring my car. Paparazzi surrounded me, demanding to know what happened, but I stayed silent.

Tom didn't go outside. He just stood and watched me, hoping that I would come back in. I didn't. As soon as my car was delivered, I tipped the valet and drove off.

"Ugh!" Tom grunted, and threw his right arm, accidentally knocking an old ladies purse out of her hands.

"Sorry." Tom muttered and bent down to help pick up her stuff, but the lady instead grabbed another bag and started hitting Tom with it.

"Go get some clothes on young man! Do you really think people wants to see that?!" The old lady screeched.

"We do!" Some fan girls squealed from behind a plant. Tom smirked, but it quickly disappeared when the lady hit him again.

"Ok! I'm going!" Tom yelled, rubbing his arm, and headed back to the elevators.

***

"Hi honey. You're home early." My mother looked up from her book where she sat on the couch. Dark curls framed her face and hazel dots made up her eyes. My face took after my mothers; my tan skin tone after my father. I didn't see him that much. He was always away on business trip. I didn't miss him that much, but it's always nice when he is around.

"Yea… we didn't really feel like going to Disneyland." I didn't want to talk about this right now with her.

"Where did you guys go then?" So nosey.

"I hung out at the hotel with Carol." And Bill, no Tom.

"That must have been fun." She smiled.

"Yea." I nodded. "Look mom. I'm kind of tired. Big day on set tomorrow. I'm going to call it a night ok?"

"Ok honey." She got up from the couch and hugged me. "Are you ok?" Concern was in her voice.

"Yea I'm fine." I said putting on my best 'everything is fine' face.

"Ok good." She kissed my forehead. "Good night."

"Night." I said and trudged up the stairs to my room.

I got ready for bed, changing into a long t-shirt and pajama pants, and grabbed my script. I had to go over lines for the next day. We were doing a live taping of the real show in front of an audience, so I had to be sure to have all my lines memorized.

I sat on my bed for the next two hours, saying each line aloud, until I was confident I had every line memorized.

I then put my script on my bedside table and turned out the light, lying down to go to sleep.

_Womanizer, Woman-Womanizer _

_You're a womanizer, _

_Oh womanizer, Oh you're a womanizer, baby_

Tom was calling. I had changed his ring tone to that after the whole blonde thing today.

I pushed end immediately so it went straight to voicemail.

_Womanizer, Woman-Womanizer _

_You're a womanizer, _

_Oh womanizer, Oh you're a womanizer, baby_

I pushed end again, and put my cell phone on vibrate, remembering that later tonight I would have to turn the volume back on because it had my alarm clock on it.

Just as I was closing my eyes, I heard it vibrate against the wooden bedside table. I sighed and grabbed the phone.

"What!" I said in a harsh voice.

"Where are my menthols?" Tom asked in a calm voice.

"I don't know and I don't care."

"Where. Are. My. Menthols?" Tom sounded aggravated. _Geez the boy sure gets angry fast. _Bill was in the room with Tom, smirking because he knew I had them, but didn't tell Tom that.

"Just go buy another pack." I really didn't want to talk to him.

"You know I can't!" Tom yelled. It was true. Because Tom was a celebrity and didn't want people to know he smoked, even though everyone secretly knew, he had to send one of the roadies out get them for him. Actually the roadies got cigarettes for the whole band. They wouldn't be doing it tonight though. It was a bit late and everyone would be asleep.

"Sorry Tom." I closed my phone and put it back on the table.

_Buzz… Buzz…. Buzz… _Why can't the boy leave me alone!

"I'm not giving them back!" I shouted into the phone.

"So you _do_ have them!"

"Why can't you just wait until tomorrow?!"

"Because! I'm stressed and frustrated and those help me to calm down!"

"Didn't you take out your frustrations on the blonde?" I stared at the starry ceiling.

"Sadie!" Tom was angry now. "Just bring them back!"

"No!" I hung up, the phone still in hand. I knew he was going to call me back.

_Buzz…_ Yup!

"Tom. Get over it. They are just cigarettes." I said plainly.

"No! I want my cigarettes!" _Wow… somebody is acting childish._

"I'm done with this conversation."

"SADIE-" I hung up once again and put my cell phone on silent. Now I can _finally_ go to sleep.

***

"Sadie? What are you still doing here?" My mom shook me.

"Wha…" My cell phone read 7:30. I didn't hear the alarm go off because I silenced it._ Stupid Tom…_"Crap!" I jumped out of bed, running passed my mom and into the bathroom. I was supposed to be on set thirty minutes ago and it takes about twenty-five to get there! I took the quickest shower in the history of mankind and ran back into my room, throwing on my clothes.

"Bye mom!" I hopped into my car and sped down to the set, almost getting a speeding ticket. I hoped and prayed the director, Aaron, wouldn't be too upset. Since I'm the star of the show, I should always be there first and on time. Getting me ready took the longest.

"I'm here!" I yelled as I almost ran into Aaron.

"Finally!" He exclaimed. "Where have you been?!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't hear my alarm go off because-" Aaron cut me off.

"I don't want to hear it Sadie! Just go get ready! We have to start taping in two hours!" Aaron pushed me in the direction of hair and make up.

Two hours may sound like a long time, but it wasn't really. Considering, we had to eat, get everybody into hair and makeup and run the scenes before we taped them in front of the live audience.

We started almost on time. Just a few minutes off. The taping went pretty smooth. I knew my lines and so did my cast. I had to kiss Ryan, my love interest, and I wasn't exactly too thrilled to do that either.

As soon as Aaron called the last and finally "Cut!" we had to go thank and meet the audience. I met and took several pictures with people, all asking about the whole fiasco last night. I guess the pictures surfaced the Internet really quick. I told them I'd rather not talk about it and they respected me. Well, most of them did. Some kept pestering me but other fans would defend me. "She said she doesn't want to talk about it! Leave her alone!"

"You will most likely hear about it soon." I said and thanked the fans.

The audience soon left and I was free to go home. One of the things I hated most about live taping was the way they caked our faces with makeup. It made your face feel hot, heavy and disgusting. We had to wash our faces off at home though, because the makeup trailer would be closed as soon as filming was over.

I hopped back in my car and drove back home, stopping at McDonalds to grab a burger first. The person who took my order could hardly contain herself. She kept squealing and almost dropped my drink in my car. She didn't get my order right at all either, but I was too annoyed at her antics to care.

I pulled up to my house too see paparazzi everywhere. I rolled my eyes and sighed, not wanting to deal with this right now. I could barley get out of my car, but somehow managed. The paparazzi swarmed me as I tried to get to the front door of my house.

They kept yelling questions at me asking if Tom and I were having sex, did tom _try_ and rape me, _did_ tom rape me and many other ridiculous questions. The only thing I said to them was "No Comment" calmly and tried to weave my way through the sea of them. I was getting frustrated and it was written all over my face. I suddenly felt someone tugging on my arm and I look to see it's not a paparazzi. The person was pulling me towards my house. I grabbed their arm and let them pull me. I finally made it into the house and quickly shut the door, putting all 4 locks in place.

I turned to see who my rescuer was and my shoulders dropped.

"What are you doing here?" I crossed my arms. _No wonder there was so many paparazzi here._ I usually had a few always around the house during the day, but I never had so much as right now.

"I wanted to apologize." Tom answered quietly. I nodded my head and made my way into the living room.

"Thanks for rescuing me."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

I sat down on my couch and stared at Tom, who was looking at the carpet. He knew I was waiting for him to properly apologize so he looked up.

"I've been a jerk." Tom started.

"Yea." A big one.

"Look, I know you're probably angry with me and I don't really expect you to be all fine and happy with me." He's right. "But I hope you will be."

"Tom-"

"I'm sorry Sadie." Tom sat down next to me, took my hand and I looked down at it.

"How many more times will that blonde go and ruin everything?" I asked quietly.

"Ruin everything? All I did was ignore you once and accidentally forget about a hangout thing." Tom said like it was no big deal. _Really Tom?_

"That's all you did?" I pulled my hand from Tom's and felt the anger rise in me. "What, you think this is nothing?"

"Sadie, I hang out with you all the time. I just wanted to have a little fun." Tom answered calmly.

"That is the same stupid excuse as last time! Can't you have fun with me?!" I stood up, but instantly regretted what I had just said. Tom's cheeks were a tinge of red, as were mine.

"I don't mean it _that _way…" I muttered. Tom nodded silently.

"Am I not that fun or something?" I returned back to my normal voice. "You choose sex over me?"

"Well if you were actually _having _it you would understand." Tom said bluntly. _Ouch… _

"So sex will always come first?" I tried to raise my voice, but I couldn't help the hurt in my voice.

"Sadie-"

"Don't Tom." He had tried to reach out for me, but I wouldn't let him. "Why are you even friends with me?!"

"Because I like you and you're a good friend."

"Well obviously I'm not that good of a friend if stupid blondes will come first!" _Am I really not that important to him_?

"This conversation is definitely not going the way I wanted it to." Tom got up from the couch.

"Tom I thought we were best friends…" My voice lowered.

"We are, but-"

"Am I only around to keep you company while you wait for some slut to come into your room?" I stared at Tom.

"Sadie you're important to me. I could never ask for a better best friend." Tom paused. "I'm nineteen. I've got needs and you can't fulfill them."

"Why not?" My voiced dropped again.

"Because… I see you as a sister. And I know you see me as a brother." _No I don't. _"Don't you think that would be a little weird?"

"So you'll just forget about me when your "needs" become more important…" I said.

"Sadie… ugh… I wish you could understand…"

"Oh I understand, but what I _don't _understand is, why couldn't you at have at least called or texted me? You really ruined my day…" I said honestly.

"I forgot." The way he said it made it sound like an excuse.

Just then the doorbell rang and I left the room to answer it. I looked through the peephole before opening the door.

"Babe!" Sean exclaimed and hugged me.

"Hey Sean." I said with no enthusiasm.

"Something wrong?" Sean asked, but knew when he saw Tom in the living room. "What's he doing here?"

"He's trying to apologize, but he is doing a crappy job." Sean and I walked back into the living room.

The two boys didn't greet each other or shake hands, just stared instead.

"Sadie can we finish our conversation _alone_?" Tom didn't take his eyes of Sean, who was glaring at him now.

"No." Tom then averted his eyes to me. "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"But-"

"Tom before we talk again, you need to get your priorities straight." I said firmly. "I don't want to come second to a slut."

"Sadie-"

"I believe the lady wants you to leave." Sean continued to glare at Tom. His eyes locked with mine and I slowly nodded my head. Tom sighed and headed towards the door.

"I'll call you." Tom then opened the door and left. Shouts and the snapping of pictures went off. I didn't really want him to leave. I wanted to resolve the issue, but something was holding me back. Maybe I liked the fact that Tom paid more attention to me when he was trying to apologize.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Sean asked.

"No." I shook my head.

"You don't' need him anyway." Sean put his arm my shoulder. "You got me." I smiled and headed back into the living room.

We hung out for the next few hours just talking, play video games and eating. I was surprised he hadn't brought up the kiss we shared in his hotel room, until now.

"Sadie, do you like me?" Sean put his video controller down and concentrated on me.

"You mean as more then a friend right?" I knew what he was getting at.

"Yea."

"Because of the whole kiss thing?" Sean nodded.

"Umm… I don't know." I said slowly. "I'm just kind of confused…"

"About?"

"Like, I don't even know why I kissed you. I think I just wanted to kiss someone."

"Oh…" Sean didn't hide the disappointment.

"I'm just being honest with you." I didn't want to hurt his feelings. "I will say though, the kiss wasn't that bad." He perked up.

"Really?" Sean smiled.

"Yea." I nodded. It really wasn't that bad. "Kind of nice actually. Helped me get my mind of some things."

"Well… I can help get your mind off Tom if you want…" Sean whispered. I didn't say anything. I just met him halfway and our lips soon touched.

I didn't know it though, but over half way through our little make out session, Tom had walked back into the house to make a real apology, but suddenly couldn't make it when he saw Sean and I. I was lying on the couch with Sean on top; his shirt off and his hand lay flat on my stomach, under my shirt. He left the house, putting on another smile for the paparazzi, faking that everything was fine and dandy. Tom waved to my mom as she pulled up in her car next to Tom before he left. Tom suddenly felt emotions he never knew he had for Sadie. He shook them out and went on thinking about the blonde the night before.

"Sadie I'm-" My mother paused when she saw Sean and I on the couch.

"SADIE MARIE HAWKINS!" She screamed dropping her purse on the floor. I gasped and quickly pushed Sean off, who hit the floor with a thud. I stood up and straightened my shirt putting on a fake grin.

"Hey mom…" I said nervously. "Sean was just leaving."

"Yea, he better be." My mother spoke sternly. Sean grabbed his shirt and walked towards the door.

"Sean!" I mimed putting on a shirt.

"Oh!" Sean started to put it on, but I didn't see him take it right back off. My mother started yelling at me and all my attention was on her.

"We weren't doing anything!"

"You call having a boy on top of you half naked while making out _not _doing anything?!" My mom could get pretty loud. "Not to mention his hands all over you!"

"Uh… yea?"

"Hand over the credit card." My mom held her hand out.

"No! Mom you can't do that!" I screeched.

"Yes I can, and I am." She said firmly.

"I'm 17!" I exclaimed.

"Which is why you should _not_ be doing any of that!" She said. "I need that credit card now."

"But mom-"

"One week-"

"No! I need-"

"A week and a half."

"Ugh fine!" I got my wallet out of my purse and handed it to her. She had to tug a few times because I quite a grip on it.

"You will get it back in a week and a half." My mom stuck it in her pocket. "Now I do _not_ want to see any more of this behavior. It is not appropriate for your age."

"I'm 17 mom." I said dull voice.

"Again, which is why you shouldn't be messing around with any boys."

"Didn't you do this when you were 17?" I crossed my arms and scowled.

"No. I wasn't promiscuous with any boy but your father, _after_ we were married. Speaking of your father… I think he needs to know about this." She took out her cell phone.

"I don't think we need to tell dad about this." I tried to put her cell back in her purse. My mother stared at me.

"Please?" I said quietly. The last thing I needed was to have my dad on my back about this to. I bet he would stop traveling for work, and stay home just so he sees to it that I never touch a boy ever again.

"Fine." She gave in. "But _never_ again."

"Understood." My mother didn't give me the credit card back like I hoped she would but I wasn't really expecting her to.

The whole session with Sean wasn't bad, but I only did it because I wanted to get my mind of Tom. I didn't like Sean that way. He was just my friend, but I didn't really mind letting Sean have me for a little. I wasn't going to go all the way. I wanted to wait for somebody I really liked. This is where Tom and I didn't agree on things. He thought it was perfectly ok because he thinks he'll never find a girl he really likes. I know he will though, and no matter how upset I am with him, I hope it's me.

I went up to my room and was shutting the door just as my cell phone went off.

"Hello?"

"Sadie!" Bill.

"Hey…"

"Something wrong?"

"Nothing really. Just a little fight with my mom." I sat down in my computer chair and brought up the Internet.

"Ahh… Do you know where Tom is?"

"He left my house a little a while ago. Why don't you call him?"

"I did, but then I knew he left his phone here."

"I'm sure he'll be back soon." I went to a gossip site to check out any new news.

"Yea… Did you guy's make up?"

"No." _Ok!_ Magazine had a picture of Tom on the front cover, being hit by an old lady with a bag. It was during the hotel scene in the lobby, so he wasn't wearing a shirt. Hotel guests were staring at him in the background.

"Oh…"

"Yea, he just said some stupid things, which didn't help me to want to make things cool again." The title read '_Shirtless Tom__Kaulitz Gets Some Old School Discipline By Angry Elderly Woman In Hotel Lobby'_

"I'm sorry Sadie. Usually he thinks before he speaks… but there's always a first."

"Yea…" It showed scans of the article inside the magazine.

"Look. I'll talk to you later Sadie."

"Yea bye." I laughed at some pictures, but stopped when I saw an interesting one. It was Tom, before he got beat up, looking out towards the hotel lobby. His face held a sad genuine "I'm sorry" look.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Hi guys! I'm so glad you guys like my story! I'm going to keep posting as long as I can before it gets deleted (hopefully not soon). If that does happen, just check my profile and it will have a link where you can check it out on a different website.**

Chapter 17

I woke up late the next morning, still tired. I had another interview later this afternoon and guess where it was taking place? At the hotel the boys were staying at. After seeing that article of Tom, I couldn't help but feel confused. He _looks_ like he is genuinely sorry, but he doesn't _talk_ like it. Was Tom sorry? _Maybe I'm making too big a deal out of this. It wasn't like a huge terrible thing he did right? Yea, he totally blew me off for a blonde slut, but maybe it's becoming too big. I mean press is getting involved..._

Just as I was about to get out of bed, my phone rang. I checked the caller ID before picking it up.

"Hey Dawn." I yawned.

"Did you just wake up?" Dawn asked.

"Yea…" I ruffled my hair.

"I don't know how you teens can sleep so long…"

"What do you mean?" The clock read 11:52. "It's still early."

"Not for me." Dawn laughed. "Anyways I'm calling to tell you, you've got an invite to the Jonas Brothers 3D movie premiere."

"Why?" I whined.

"Sadie, you knew you were going to get invited to this. You're a _Disney_ star."

"Don't remind me…" I yawned again. "Do I have to go?"

"Do I need to answer that?"

"No… Ugh… I was hoping this year I wouldn't have to go to those things. I'm never going to be taken seriously in this industry!"

"Look at the Jonas Brothers. Look how successful they are because of Disney." Dawn said calmly.

"I never said I didn't want to be in Disney, I just want to be taken as a serious actress." Do you take the Jonas Brothers seriously?

"What does this have to do with the premiere?"

"I don't know…" I stood up and stretched, while my face held the phone to my ear. "I was just hoping you would say I didn't have to go…"

"Oh come on. It'll be fun." I wasn't convinced. "Tokio Hotel has been invited."

"Oh really?" That sparked my interest. "Why haven't they told me this?"

"David is probably on the phone with Bill right now. We just found out a little earlier today." The Jonas Brothers really admired Tokio Hotel for everything they had achieved in the 4 short years. They met each other at TRL last summer and their manager's stay in contact still.

"Tom can be your date!" Dawn said happily.

"Great…" I don't know about that.

"Sadie. Get over what happened I'm not trying to be mean, but you really need to." Dawn said firmly. "Now I have a conference to attend to. I will talk to you later." And with that she hung up.

"Wait, when is this thing?" I said out loud even though I knew she had hung up already. "Ugh… whatever."

I stripped my clothes off and went to my bathroom that was connected to my room. I stepped into the shower and let the luke warm water wake me up.

I had nothing against the Jonas Brothers, but they weren't really my favorite people in the world. I found them to be quite annoying, but strangely funny at the same time. I think I find the fact that every time I go to an event with them, there is all this screaming. It's very annoying and I can't even think straight. People scream for me too, but not like they do for them. I can't even go into a grocery store without seeing their faces everywhere. Their music wasn't _that_ bad either but… I don't know… I just prefer Tokio Hotel to the Jonas Brothers any day

***

"Bye mom!" I ran down the stairs, dressed and ready to leave for my interview. "Mom?" I waited for a response. None. I was just about to walk out the door, when I noticed a note taped to it.

_Hey Hun. I got called in for an early shift this morning at 10. I should be home early this evening._

_Love you,_

_Mom_

My mom was a nurse at the local hospital and was always getting called into work. I folded the note and put it into my pocket as I walked out the door. I had no idea what to say to Tom if I happened to bump into him.

I arrived at the hotel valet to see a handful of fans, cameras and pictures in hand.

"Hi guys." I smiled, getting out of the car and handed my keys to the valet.

"Can we get a picture with you?" "Can you sign my arm?" The fans asked and I happily obliged. I like doing whatever I can to make the fans happy. Even if its as simple as smiling for a camera or writing my signature across something.

"Thanks! We love you!" They screamed as I walked into the hotel lobby.

"Hi, I'm here for an interview." I said to the smiling lady at the front desk.

"Floor 3, room 2."

"Thank you." I rode to the floor and got off to be met with a security guard.

"Hi."

"I'm to escort you to the room."

"Oh thanks…" _The room is a few doors down. I think I can manage getting there by myself. _

The interview was just like all my other interviews. Do I have any new projects coming up, will I record an album like most Disney stars do… etc.

"The fans would like to know, what happened that made you rush out of the hotel, with Tom running after you?" The guy, who was interviewing me, leaned in closer.

"Um… that was no big deal really. He just forgot about something and I got mad."

"What did he forget?" He had his pen ready.

"It was nothing."

"You're aren't going to tell me are you?" The guy smiled.

"No." I laughed lightly.

"At least answer this question. Are you still mad at him?" _Yes, but no._

"Oh no. I'm completely over it. We're totally cool now." I put on my fake smile; happy to know the guy bought it.

"Why was Tom running over to you with no shirt on, trying to hold his pants?" Gosh, this guy doesn't give up does he?

"Um…" _How do I answer this?_ I didn't want to say '_Oh, because he had some girl he doesn't even know in his room and they were fooling around.'_

"Because I had just gotten out of the shower." I turned around to see Tom leaning in the doorway, looking calm and relaxed.

"I'm looking at the picture here," _He has the picture with him?_ "And your dreads look pretty dry to me."

"I was taking a bath." Tom shrugged.

"But you just said-"

"Shower, bath. Same difference." Tom crossed his arms in front of him.

"Ah ok…" The interviewer wrote that down with a simple nod.

"Well it was nice talking with you Sadie." The guy shook my hand and merely nodded at Tom.

"You to." I answered in a rush and walked over to Tom. "What are you doing here?" Tom looked passed me to see the interviewer watching us.

"Not here." Tom lightly grabbed my wrist and pulled me to the elevators.

"Tom-"

"Wait." Tom let me in the elevator first and then himself. We went up to the fifteenth floor and headed to his room.

"Ok, now we can talk." Tom said as soon as the door to his room was shut.

"Why am I here?" I asked.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"I figured." I sat down on the edge of his edge of his bed, waiting for Tom to speak.

"I'm sorry Sadie."

"Tom, we already tried this and-" Tom cut me off again.

"I _really _am sorry Sadie. I should have never said that you come second to a slut. You, Bill and the band always come first.

"Tom, I don't mind coming second to the band, but when it comes to a slut then-"

"Sadie. Like I said before, I was a jerk and I didn't really forget that we were suppose to hang out. It was in the back of mind, but I don't know… look I'm sorry ok?" Tom looked sincere as he sat next to me. "I want every thing to be cool with us. The band is happier when we are." I stared at him, not saying anything. I wanted to forgive him, I really did, but I couldn't help but think that Tom was just going to blow me off again.

"Are you going to the Jonas premiere thing?" I said instead of answering Tom's apology.

"Oh!" Tom got off the bed and on to one knee. "Sadie Marie Hawkins, will you go with me, as my date, to the Jonas Premiere?" Tom held out a crushed wilted flower that came from his jacket pocket. _Aww what the heck… _I giggled and completely forgot about what I was worrying about.

"Of course." I reached out to hug him, but it was a little awkward because I was sitting on the bed and he was on one knee. "And… we're cool." I took the flower and laughed as it droopier and droopier every second.

"Really?" Tom stood up. "That's all I had to do?"

"You we're expecting something else?" I didn't like being mad at him. Things were complicated then.

"Ya! Like making me beg at your feet hoping that you would forgive me."

"This is fine Tom." I touched a petal and it floated off. "Where did you get this?"

"On the roof." Tom smiled, big and proud. "In a crack!"

"Oh… wow… its um… amazing!" I tried to sound enthusiastic, but it didn't really come out like that.

"I know. I am amazing." Tom smirked and I rolled my eyes.

"Here." I pulled out Tom's Menthol Cigarettes from my pocket and put it in his hand.

"My cigarettes!" Tom cried and quickly pulled one out. I'd been carrying Tom's cigarettes around, smoking one when I had time, and when there weren't any people nearby.

"Come on!" Tom ran out to the patio and lit it up, quickly inhaling and exhaling.

"Want one?" I shook my head. It was too early in the day. All the fans were still out and I don't need to have smoke-smelling breath. People would put up with Tom smelling like smoke, but not me. Disney stars aren't supposed to. They aren't supposed to have any fun at all.

"Do you even want to go to the premier?" I asked and looked over the edge of the building.

"I don't' really care if I go or not." Tom brought the cigarette to his lips, but then pulled it away. "Why, you don't?"

"I was thinking about it, but I don't really have a choice. I'm part of the "Disney Family", so I should go…"

"I'll go then." He brought the cigarette back up to his lips.

"Really?" Tom nodded and exhaled.

"Hey are you busy today?"

"No. I'm done for the day. Why?"

"Got your sunglasses and a hat?"

"Yea." I always keep an extra pair in the car.

"We're going to Disneyland." Tom flicked the end butt of the cigarette.

"Seriously?" _Really?_

"I want to make up for last week…" Tom muttered to the ground.

"Well… I think you're doing an ok job." I grinned.

"Yea?" Tom's eyes met mine.

"Yea!" I got on my tippy toes and kissed him on the cheek.

***

We had a really nice time at Disneyland. Instead of cutting the line, like most stars do, Tom and I waited with everyone else. The fans recognized us on every ride went on, but that was ok. One my favorite rides is Splash Mountain and Tom didn't think he was going to get that wet. After the ride ended, he was yelling in German about his hair. Something about dreadlocks taking forever to dry…

Tom dropped me off at my house at around one in the morning. My mom was sitting on the couch, reading a book, as she waited up for me.

"Have a nice time?" She asked.

"Yea." I nodded.

"Good." She smiled. "Thanks for calling and letting me know you were going to be coming home late."

"Mhmm." I walked to the stairs. "Night mom."

"Night honey."

Carol texted me as I entered my room. She told me how Bill invited her to the Jonas Premiere as his date. I could tell that she was excited because of all the smileys and exclamation points she used. I didn't even know if you were suppose to bring a date, but I was completely fine going with Tom. I was about to change in my pajamas when I got a text from Sean.

"Dude. This premiere is not even that big a deal!"

_So you make out with me, but take Tom to the premiere. I didn't know you could be such a Bitch._


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

"I'm here!" Carol shouted and run through my house, up to my room.

"You have your dress right?" I asked, and pulled out a shirt from my closet.

"Duh." She said and laid her dress over my computer chair. The Jonas premiere was tonight, and Carol had come over to my house to get ready. She was going with Bill, and I was going with Tom… as friends. Sean was still having a cow since I was going with Tom. Seriously, he should just get over it. If he thinks calling me a bitch is going to make me want to invite him to events with me, he needs to think again.

"Well you could have forgotten it." I shrugged.

"Yea, and that's why I walked into your room holding it in my hand."

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes with a smile and ran to answer the door. Someone rang the doorbell and it had to be my hair and makeup artist.

"Hey Dara, Kim!" I hugged them and led them upstairs to my room. Dara and Kim have been my hair and makeup artists for the last year. Whenever I had an event to go to, they would come over and get me ready for it.

"Guys, this Carol." Dara, Kim and Carol shook hands.

"It's nice to meet you." Carol said and other two grinned.

"So whose going first?" Kim laid her makeup on my vanity.

"I'll get my makeup done first, while Carol is getting her hair done. Yea?" I suggested.

"Fine with me." Carol walked into my bathroom and sat in the little chair. Dara was right behind her and sat her stuff on the counter.

It took about an hour to get our hair and makeup done. Carol had light, shimmery makeup and long soft curls to go with her mint green dress. The top of her dress was shaped the top of a heart, tight around the waist and then flowed out to her knees. She wore a matching shiny diamond necklace and bracelet. I had black, bold makeup and long, stick straight hair. My outfit consisted of a black, off the shoulder top with purple sleeves attached, purple skinny jeans, two silver rings and a few black sex bracelets.

"Bill is going to love you Carol." I put on my last ring and then looked at my ensamble.

"What about Tom? He'll love you in that too!" Carol adjusted her bracelet.

"We'll see." Kim and Dara had just left a little bit ago, and now we're waiting for Bill and Tom.

"So… are you excited to see Nick Jonas?" I asked and sat down on my bed.

"Kind of." Carol told me she use to have a massive crush on Nick, but it started to fade when she saw Bill in _Ready Set Go!_ for the first time.

"Kind of?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Yea… I mean I like Bill now. It's going to be so weird seeing both of my celebrity crushes at the same time!"

"Well remember, one of your celebrity crushes likes you." I smirked.

"I know!" Carol said with glee, and sat next to me.

"Girls you can stop crying now." I heard a voice coming up my stairs.

"Bill and I are here now." I threw a pillow at Tom as he walked through the door. "Hey! Woah… you guys look sexy!" Bill elbowed Tom and rolled his eyes.

"You girls look beautiful." Bill smiled. _I love Bill._

"Thank you Bill." Carol and I giggled. Bill was wearing a black t-shirt with a sparkley skull on the front with a leather jacket over it, black skinny jeans with two zippers, lots of ring and three necklaces. _I've always liked Bills style_. Tom had on a huge white t-shirt with a royal black jacket over it, baggy jeans, a white and royal blue headband and a white cap. _Toms style was cool too, but I still like Bills better_.

"What? No 'Thank you Tom'?"

"Umm no." I shook my head.

"I complimented you!" exclaimed Tom.

"Yea, but we like Bills compliment more." Carol said and we both headed over to them. I pushed Tom out of the way and stood next to Bill, who put his arm around Carol and I.

"Bill!"

"What can I say Tom? The ladies love me." Bill smirked and pulled us closer as we laid our heads on his shoulders.

"Fine then." Tom crossed his arms and looked away, pretending to be hurt.

"Aww…" I pulled away from Bill. "There's enough love to go around." I went along with Tom and hugged him.

"You're still my favorite Kaulitz." I whispered.

"I heard that!" Bill yelled. I flipped him off playfully and that's when Bill turned and headed out of the room, taking Carol with him.

"Come on Carol. We don't need people like that." Bill huffed and stomped down the stairs.

"What a baby…" I had released Tom and was watching Carol be dragged down the stairs.

"Well he _is_ my baby brother…" Tom sighed and then looked me over. "You know, you really do look hot in that."

"Ummm… thanks." I blushed.

The twins sat together and were conversering in German, so I though I'd talk to Carol. We were on our ways the premiere in a big, shiny, black escalade.

"Has Bill asked you out yet?" I asked Carol. We spoke in a low tone so no one could hear us.

"Psh no. I would have told you if he did."

"Why hasn't asked you out yet?" It seemed to me that they liked each other.

"You tell me." She sounded bitter.

"I'm sure it will be soon." I said reassuringly. Carol just shrugged and looked out the window. _At least your Kaulitz will admit that he likes you._

I could hear the screams a mile away from the premier as we pulled up. The twins got out first, then me, and then Carol. The flashes went off like crazy and I swear I was blind for a few moments. Hands with autograph books and pictures, were being thrust across the baracades. We signed as many as we could, with Carol following, and headed to the picture area. The Jonas Brothers were posing with different celebraitys, so we waited for our turn to pose with them.

"Wait, where is Georg and Gustav?" It had just occurred to me that I hadn't seen those boys here. It was really loud here, so I kind of had to yell my question.

"They wanted to get in some studio time tonight. So it's just Bill and I." Tom said and I nodded.

The Jonas boys were waving the twins over to take a few quick pictures with them. I laughed when they all stood next to each other. Bill and Tom looked so out of place here at this premiere. Bill and Tom walked away when they were finished and I was waved over. I stood in between Joe and Kevin and smiled. Carol was standing on the side, looking totally lonely so I whispered to Joe. He nodded and waved her over. She looked at me and I nodded. Nick and Joe made space for her, as the cameras continued to flash.

We finished a few seconds later and I turned to the boys, telling them how nice it was to see them. We shook hands and I watched as Carol couldn't help but smile a huge cheesy grin as she shook Nicks hand.

Carol and I walked to where the twins were being interviewed. A microphone was then thrust in my face. The camera man bumped Carol out of the area that he was filming, so it was just me his camera lens was focused on. I sent her an apolegetic look and she smiled a little.

I talked to a bunch of different reporters, basically answering the same questions like "Are you excited for this movie? Which Jonas do you think will get married first? So you came with the twins, whys that? Do you like the awesome Rayban 3D glasses they are using?" and more. I answered them all with a smile. The twins and I had yet to be interviewed together. I felt sorry for Carol though; she just stood in the background.

"Sadie! Bill, Tom!" Ryan O'Brian was there getting footage for his TV show. "Hi guys!" The three of us crowded around his microphone.

"Are you guys excited to be here?"

"Yes." We all said at the same time. We were getting tired of the same question all night.

"So whose the girl you guys brought?" Ryan put the mic in front of Bill. _ I guess he wants Bill to answer_.

"Her name is Carol. She is a very good friend of ours and we are very glad she is able to be with us tonight." Bill answered smoothly.

"Anything romantic going on between you two?" Ryan pressed.

"Umm… maybe." Bill smiled.

"Maybe? You can't give us a straight answer?" Ryan asked.

"No, I can't." Bill laughed nervously.

"Hey, why don't we bring the young girl over?" A security guard led Carol to the circle.

"Do you like hanging out with these guys?" Ryan pointed the mic at Carol.

"Yea. They are all really fun to hang out with. I'm lucky they even want to be my friend." Carol said honestly and we all laughed.

"Where did you meet them?"

"I won a contest to get to meet them. Well it was really only to meet Tokio Hotel, but Sadie was there too."

"Did you not want to meet Sadie?"

"Oh no! She's awesome! One of my closest friends here. I'm glad I met her." Carol grinned.

"Good. So… any romantic feelings for Bill here?" Ryan asked. Carol just shrugged her shoulders as her answers.

"I'm not going to learn a whole lot tonight am I?"

"Well we are at the Jonas movie premiere. I think we should be talking about that." I wanted to change the subject. Get off the topic of Bill and Carol. Don't think I'm jealous, because I'm not. It's just I could tell it was making Carol a bit uncomfortable. The whole time she was being interviwed she was nervously playing with her hands. I noticed that Bill took one of her hands and held it close to his side. It almost looked as if there hands were just right next to each other, instead of intertwined.

The twins and I were better at interviews. We were use to this whole thing, so it was a breeze for us.

"Thanks!" We had finished our interview and were now walking into the theater. A security guard led us to the middle of the theater and guess who was sitting there? The Jonas Brothers.

"Hey guys. Guess we get to sit with you guys huh?" I said taking my seat, Carol and Bill taking seats closer to the brothers.

"Yup. Aren't you lucky?" I rolled my eyes at Joes comment and noticed that Carol was sitting between Nick and Bill. Both of her celebrity crushes. I tapped Carol and I smirked when she looked over. She grinned and went back talking to Bill.

"Hi, I'm Nick." Nick said trying to get Carols attention. She looked away from Bill and took Nicks outstreatched hand again.

"I think we already met, but I'm Carol."

"Oh right…" Nick looked down on the floor.

"But I don't mind meeting you again." Carol smiled.

"Cool." Nick looked at her again and she couldn't help but smile even bigger. Bill noticed this and made a big production of taking Carols hand in his.

"Uh… are you guys…" Nick nodded to Bill.

"Oh, no." Carol said quietly so Bill couldn't hear. It was true in a way. Bill hadn't told her his feelings for her or anything. For all she knew they could have just been friends with benefits for the past few weeks.

"They why are you guys holding hands?" Nick asked and Carol shrugged. She knew why. Because she liked Bill, but now that she finally met Nick, she kind of liked him too.

The movie started and I made fun of Tom for putting them on upside down. The fans in the theater would scream everytime the boys would come on the screen. I looked at Carol and she looked like she was going to burst. The next thing I know she is screaming along with the fans.

"I love you!" she said right when Nick's face came on the screen. _I guess she really gets into these things… _Her eyes immeadiately grew wide and she sank low in her chair, trying to hide her red face. Nick stared at her in shock, while Bill quickly let go of Carols hand and crossed his arms. He looked pissed. Tom and I exchanged worried looks.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

I felt bad for Carol. I'm sure she didn't do it on purpose. It probably just jumped out of her mouth without her even thinking about. Bill stared at the screen with a blank face for the rest of the movie, still pissed.

The celebrities that were in the theater went out through the back door to avoid the fans after the movie ended. It was pretty good, actually sort of felt like I was there. There was an after party at the Knitting Factory in Hollywood, so we all decided to go. Bill avoided Carol the entire time we were there. She would try and talk to him, but he would just roll his eyes and walk away. I thought Bill was being a bit over dramatic about the whole thing.

"This party sucks!" Tom yelled in my ear over the loud music. I was dancing with him, not dirty dancing because Disney stars would _never_ do that, but I wasn't having that much fun.

"Seriously!" This party was boring. No good music, just all this Disney crap. Even the choice of drinks sucked. Soda and Red Bull. Red Bull was good, but mixed with vodka… it was amazing. You know what sucks about the US? The fricken drinking law! I hated that you had to be 21 just to enjoy an awesome drink.

"Lets go get a drink!" Tom led me out of the dancing crowd to the bar.

"Two Red Bulls." The bartender handed them to Tom, who handed me one.

"Thanks." I quickly opened it and took a sip. Tom nodded off to an empty corner and I followed him to it.

"Where's Bill?" He scanned the crowd until he found a huge mane of black hair, floating above the crowd. "Hold this." I held Tom's drink and watched Tom grab Bill and bring him over.

"Get a Red Bull." Tom said to Bill and took his drink back.

"Could've told me when I was over there!" Bill practically ran up the counter and came back grinning at Tom. I raised an eyebrow at the boys, but it quickly changed to a smile.

"Want some?" Tom held a flask that was about the size of his hand, which came from his waistband. _Vodka…_

"Yes! But no!" I wanted it so bad though! I didn't want to risk people seeing me, but my body craved it.

"Are you sure?" He poured the clear liquid into his can of Red Bull and lightly shook it.

"No…" _Yes…_

"It's good Sadie." Bill tried to persuade me and took a swig of his vodka filled drink.

"Ugh fine!" I thrust my can out to Tom and he happily poured some in. I put the can to my lips and chugged the drink down like I hadn't had water in 3 days.

"Another one!" I ran to the counter and got another can, drank some of its contents and Tom gladly added more. _Now this is more like it!_ I had an okay tolerance to alcohol. Three or four glasses and I was good for the rest of the night, but five to seven, I was wasted.

The flask didn't last very long because the twins would take turns just drinking straight vodka. That was definitely not my thing. Straight Vodka? Yuck. Two cans of the mixed drink, all I was going to drink tonight. I was risking a lot. I don't need to be drunk at a Disney party. That would be really bad, and a lot of parents would be mad at me.

The twins' alcohol tolerance was very high. I guess all that drinking in Germany at such a young age contributed to it. The three of us were pretty much ourselves, just a little bit happier.

I don't think anyone noticed us. It was dark in the club and the corners were the darkest.

"Where's Carol?" Tom said out of the blue. Bill shrugged and stared at the empty flask.

"Oh that's right huh? I'll be right back." I handed my can of Red Bull to Bill and walked out into the crowd.

"Sadie!" I heard someone screech from behind. I looked to see a fan, my age, holding her camera.

"Can I get a picture with you?" She asked hopefully.

"Uh… yea sure." I didn't open my mouth much, praying she didn't smell the alcohol on my breath. She stood next to me and put her camera in front of us. I smiled with my mouth shut and waved to her when she walked away. I then spotted Carol standing with Nick. She seemed to be enjoying herself as Nick talked to her. I frowned and made my way through the crowd, over to her.

"Carol." I grabbed her arm and pulled her aside.

"Have you been drinking?" Carol looked surprised.

"Don't even worry about that right now." I pulled her closer, but she winced from the smell. "Why aren't you talking to Bill?"

"Because he won't talk to me! He's being an idiot!" Carol crossed her arms; an angry expression crossed her face. "I didn't even mean to do that! It just slipped out!"

"I believe you, but talk to Bill."

"No. I'm talking with Nick right now."

"But you're not _with_ Nick." I emphasized.

"And I'm not with Bill either, remember?" Carol stared at me for a few more seconds and then heads back to Nick.

"Oh my God." I rubbed my temples and went back to the where the twins were.

"This party's a bust." I stated when I was with the twins again. Bill knew where Carol was. He watched me go over to her.

"I say we should just go." Bill threw his can away.

"Yea…" Tom agreed and headed to the exit.

"Wait. What about Carol?" Carol was still talking to Nick. Bill turned to look at me.

"What about her?"

"We can't just leave her here!" I exclaimed.

"I don't mind." Bill shrugged again and turned to the exit.

"Ugh!" I went up to Carol and told her we were leaving. Nick wrote down her number before I dragged her out of the club.

***

The boys had invited us to spend the night at their hotel after the party, and that's where we were right now. I was going to share a room with Tom, and Bill with Carol, but seeing the current circumstances…

"Dang it! We forgot to bring stuff!" I entered Tom's room, with everyone following. Bill and Carol still weren't speaking, but I knew they would be soon. Bill is terrible at holding a grudge for too long.

"What'd you need?" Tom took off his cap and set it on the table.

"I at least need something to sleep in. Well, Carol more so, but I don't want to sleep in these skinny jeans." Seriously, they were so tight I could barely bend my legs.

"You can borrow one of my shirts." Tom offered and I nodded.

"I'm just going to have to explain to the press why I'm wearing the outfit I was wearing the night before, the next day." That's going to be annoying.

Tom took off his big sweatshirt and was taking the flask out from his waistband, when Carol burst.

"You guys we're drinking tonight!"

"Yea so?" I kicked off my shoes and lay down on Tom's bed. _What's the big deal?_

"So? You guys are underage!" Carol exclaimed.

"Again, so?" Even Tom didn't understand Carol's sudden outburst.

"You guys aren't aloud to be drinking!"

"Hmm… and yet we do it anyway…" Bill snorted and went into his room.

"All three of you guys are major celebrities! Think about what people would say!" _Carol needs to get over this_.

"People know we drink." Tom sat down next to me.

"Yea, but they don't know we do it illegally here." I muttered.

"Oh well. They'll get over it." He then lay down next to me, and joined me as I stared at the ceiling.

"Get over it? People look up to you guys! They think of you guys as role models." Carol stared at Tom and I.

"That's there problem." Tom said.

"Yea. We never said we wanted to be role models."

"But what about the parents? Aren't you afraid of what they'll say?"

"No." I sat up. "Look Carol. This is something we do. As long as we are in control and don't get ourselves in trouble, we are going to continue to drink."

"And smoke." Tom also sat up.

"You guys smoke too?!" Carol exclaimed, once again.

"Yea!" Bill yelled from the patio. He had a lit cigarette in his hand.

"Oo! I want one!" Tom and I bounded off the bed to join Bill outside. He handed Tom and I a cigarette and then lit them for us.

"Thanks." I brought the cigarette to my lips and sucked in a ton of smoke.

"What the heck is wrong with you guys?" Carol screamed at us.

"Um… nothing?" I was a bit clueless as to why she was making such a big deal. Carol started counting on her fingers.

"Yea. We only drink when we're at a party, like you should, and we smoke in private."

"You guy's drink. You guy's smoke. What else do you do?!" Carol asked and Tom raised his hand up.

"I sleep around." He said innocently.

"Ugh! I want to go home!" Carol stomped her foot on the ground.

"Wow… no need to have a hissy fit." I took a cigarette from Bill's box. "Have a smoke. It'll calm you down."

"I don't _want_ a smoke.I _want_ to go home!" She stamped her foot again.

"Come on, loosen up." Tom flicked the butt of his cigarette.

"How can you guys do this?" Carol asked with wide eyes.

"Do what?" I asked. Bill still hadn't said anything.

"Drink. Smoke. Sleep around! Don't you guys have a conscience?!" _Wow… Carol really needs to chill._

"Yes. And why shouldn't we be? We're not hurting anybody." I exhaled and watched as the smoke flew out of my mouth.

"Don't you guys know how dangerous-" Carol was cut off by Bill.

"Yes. I think you _should_ go home. You're really getting on my nerves." Bill stared at Carol. Not a slight bit of happiness in either of their eyes. I sighed and put my cigarette out.

"Guess I'm not staying the night." I went in and put my shoes back on. "I'll drive you home."

" How?" Tom came into the room with the lit cigarette. "Your cars at your house."

"No. I had one of my drivers bring it over here, so I would have a way home tomorrow. I'm her only ride back tonight." I stood up from tying my shoes.

"Guess I'll see you later." Tom pulled me into a hug. _God… he smelled good._

"See ya." I looked at Carol to see she was now looking at the ground; Bill was still staring at her. "Lets go Carol."

Bill didn't even say goodbye when we left.

The whole ride home Carol lectured me about my activities with the boys. Right when I got to my car, she started flipping out about how she didn't want me to drive because I had been drinking earlier. I had to shush her because were still in public, even if there was nobody around. As soon as we got into the car she started up again. She said she wanted to drive, but I told her when hell freezes over, that's when she can drive my car. And then she goes on this long spiel about how the twins and I were damaging our lives by choosing to drink, smoke and sleep around, for one person.

By the time I pulled up to her house I couldn't take it anymore.

"You know what Carol? It's what we _do_! There is nothing wrong with it! We enjoy drinking and smoking, just like you enjoy watching Spongebob or whatever it is you watch. Get off our case! This is our thing, to drink and smoke. If you don't like it you're just going to have to Get. Over. It." I tried not to sound too annoyed.

"But-"

"It's. What. We. Do." I repeated again. Carol looked at me one last time before exiting the car and going to her house.

"Finally! She's gone!" I sighed in relief, just as my phone rang. _1 new text from Sean._

_Are you at home?_

I quickly texted him back saying I'll be home in 15 minutes. He never texted me back.

I went home and went straight up to my room, not saying anything to my mom. She thought I was staying at the hotel with the guys so she was probably asleep already. It's nights like these when my mom doesn't' freak out if I don't call her… I don't know why though.

I gasped when I saw Sean sitting on my bed, the window open.

"What are you do-" Sean quickly got off my bed and silenced me with a kiss. I dropped my cell phone on the floor and wrapped my arms around his neck, and let him lead me to the bed.

Things didn't go too far. I made him leave after both of our shirts were off. I then fell asleep, wanting Tom more then ever.


	20. Chapter 20

_**I want to say THANK YOU to the people who are reviewing and sending me messages. It means a lot to me. Sorry for not updating lately, but my mom has been in the hospital for the 5 days because of a heart condition. I've done nothing but worry and be upset. Even my manager at work told me to go home because I couldn't cheer up for the customers (I stayed though). Tomorrow they are giving her heart shock treatment. The doctor says it has never failed but I'm still worried for her. If all goes well she can FINALLY come home, and I'll be back to normal, so I can update again every 2-4 days. Thanks for waiting.**_

**Chapter 20**

"Sadie!" Someone decided to scream in my ear.

"Go away…" I mumbled into my pillow.

"Wake up!" Tom yelled. I shook my head, my eyes still closed.

"Fine then." All of the sudden Tom grabbed my feet from under the covers and pulled me out of bed.

"Hey!" I screamed and hit the floor with a loud thud. "You didn't have to do that."

Tom laughed. "Yes I did or else you wouldn't have gotten out of bed."

I stretched my arms and looked at the clock. 10am. "What the hell are you doing here this early?"

"I've got things to do today. It's the only time I could hang with you."

" So what, you're just going to stand in my room and watch me sit on the floor?" I stifled a yawn.

"No…" Tom grabbed my arm and pulled me up. Thank God I had chosen to wear my pants instead of sleeping in my underwear. "We are going out to breakfast right now."

"But Tom…"

Tom put a hand up. "I don't want to hear it. You've got ten minutes."

"Ten minutes?!" I shrieked and pushed him out the door.

"Hurry up. If you're not done in ten minutes, I'm coming in there." I closed the door on Tom and quickly changed into my clothes.

"No you wouldn't."

"Yes I would, and you know it Sadie."

I ran down the stairs, dressed in nine minutes and 31 seconds, to find Tom sitting at the counter with my mom.

"What are you doing?" I asked. Tom was holding a teacup in his hand and his pinkie was out.

Tom took a sip. "Drinking tea."

"Well you look like an idiot." I smirked and he stuck out his tongue.

"Mom, I thought we talked about not letting strange boys."

"Oh that's goo- Hey!" Tom realized the comment was directed towards him.

"You want to go or not, cuz I want to go back to sleep." I yawned. I choose a simple purple t-shirt, baggy black sweat pants and dark brown moccasins. My hair was partially brushed, but it still looked ok.

"Coming. Thanks for the tea Mrs. Hawkins." Tom gave the cup to my mom, who smiled at Tom.

"Come back anytime Tom."

We went to Starbucks, not surprised to see all the people inside ordering coffee. I ordered a Marble Mocha Macchiato with soymilk and Tom got a London Fog. The boy loves his tea. As we sat down at one of the little tables, people already had their cell phones out, taking pictures of the two us. We pretended not to notice, and tried to act normal.

"Oh my gosh… Carol gave me such a headache last night." I poured some _Sugar in the Raw_ into my drink. What can I say? I like my coffee sweet.

Tom nodded. "Yea me too."

"Well you didn't have to take her home last night and listen to her lecture you about drinking, smoking, etc all the way to her house!" I stirred my Macchiato and put the lid back on tightly.

"Thank God."

"Yea." I rambled on. "So yea I had to deal with Carol, then Sean came over and-"

Tom sat his cup back on the table. "Sean came over last night?" _Oops…_

"Uh… yea." _Guess I shouldn't have said that._

"Why?"

"To hang out." I said nonchalantly.

"So you're telling me," Tom paused. "That Sean came over to your house at 1am, just to _hang out?_"

"Mhmm…" I didn't make eye contact with him.

"Lets go." He said suddenly and stood up.

"What?"

"We're leaving." Tom turned and headed towards the door, not bothering to wait for me. _What the heck?_

I got up from my chair and followed him outside to the car.

"Get in." No emotion in Tom's voice.

I got in like he said and put my coffee in one of the cup holders. Tom pulled out of the parking lot and that's when he decided to start yelling.

"Why do you have to get involved with him Sadie?!"

"What?! Who said I was involved?!" I did not remember stating that Sean and I were together.

"What boy goes over to a girls house, a girl that he _likes_, late at night and does not do anything with her?" His voice was firm as he kept his eyes on the road.

"Why do you care?"

"Just tell me, you guys did no more then talk right?" I lived pretty close, so we were almost at my house again.

My voice got quiet. "I can't tell you that."

"Why Sean?" Tom looked at me hard.

"Why not?" I threw back.

"Because!"

"Because why?!"

"Because you deserve someone better then him!"

"Like who?" _You?_

Tom was silent at first. "I don't know… just someone better."

"Tom…"

"Look I know he means nothing to you. Why keep messing around with him? You know what he really wants, unless you…" Tom broke off.

"No we haven't' had sex Tom!" I exclaimed. "You know I'm waiting for the right guy!" We had pulled up to my house.

"Then why kiss him? Make out, take your shirt off… Tell me Sadie, what's the point?" Tom looked me straight in the eye and I stared back.

"How do you know about that?" _I never told him that._

"The first time I came to apologize I saw you and Sean…" He looked uncomfortable.

"Oh…"

"Yea, I just left. I didn't want to interrupt anything." He sounded mad now.

"Nothing happened." I grabbed my coffee. "My mom walked in."

"Good." _Good?_

"I don't get you Tom. You can have all the fun you want with different girls, but I can't have mine with one guy."

"It's diff-"

"And don't' say its different Tom, ok? It's not and you know it." I spoke quietly and fumbled with the sleeve on my coffee. I was still looking at Tom when I saw his eyes drop to my lips, but then up at my eyes again.

"Fine. Do what you want. If you want to go and have sex with some guy you don't even like, then go ahead."

"Your one to talk!" I exclaimed.

"Believe me, if I go could have sex with the one girl I really liked, I would."

"Then do it!"

Tom hung his head. "She'd probably say no."

"Whose the girl?" Now I was curious.

"It doesn't matter."

"Tom-

"It doesn't matter ok Sadie?" Tom sighed. "Me and the girl will never be anything"

"What are you guys now?"

Tom shrugged. "Friends I guess." I couldn't help but think he was talking about me, but then again, Tom had friends that were girls everywhere. There was no point for me to stay in the car with Tom if all we were going to do was argue.

"I'd better go." I whispered and got out of the car. "Bye."

***

I had a photo shoot later on that afternoon, and had just arrived at the studio. The rest of the morning all I could think about was the conversation I had with Tom. I _really _wanted to know who the girl was. I didn't' even know Tom actually liked girls. I thought he saw them as objects instead of lovers.

My photo shoot was for a cover of a teen magazine, and the article was about my life in school when I was younger. I never really had a problem in school, so basically I would be telling them about how easy it was for me. So inspirational huh?

The photographer had given me a 5-minute break so I could talk to Dawn. She had called to tell me that I was wanted for an audition. The audition was for a movie that I tried out for about 6 months ago. I almost had the part, but in the end it was given to somebody else. Things had changed now. The girl who got the part had backed out. Something about botox gone wrong… I don't know.

Anyway, I re-auditioned and guess what? I got the part. The movie, _Hearts on Fire, _was set in the renaissance era, and was going to be filmed in New Zealand. So not only in my show did I get to wear old clothes, but I get to in my new movie too. I was actually pretty cool with that because it was my favorite style of clothing.

I hadn't actually said yes to the part yet. They were giving me a day to think about it. I was psyched that people were finally recognizing me as an actress, but I hated the part where I had to be gone for seven months to film it. Yes, seven months. Seven long months away from my family and friends. No mom, Bill, Carol, Georg, Gustav, the list could go on, but most importantly, no Tom.

After filming was done, I would have 4 months to go back and do what I normally do. It was going to be a worldwide release, so after those 4 months I would be traveling everywhere promoting the movie. So for another month I would be gone, away from family, friends, and Tom.

***

I thought about it all night and decided to take the part, not consulting my decision with anyone. This may be the first and last time that I would ever get to do such a big film. There was no way I could say no.

The good news was I called the casting director and he was thrilled to hear my answer. The bad news was I had to leave in a week. This was all happening too fast.

Nobody knew I had accepted the part and I was going to be pretty busy getting ready to leave. The weather was changing all the time so I would have to shop for a new wardrobe. Also I would have to get my hair extensions taken out. There was no point in having them, when for the first 3 months I would be training for the stunt and fighting scenes. No public eye there. Those things were easy to get ready for, but how do you get ready to tell someone you're leaving for seven months? That you won't see them during that time at all…

I hadn't really talked to Tom since the argument in the car, but I wanted him to be the first to know.

"Hey Tom." I felt a little nervous. I was standing outside his hotel door, my hands fiddled with each other.

Tom nodded. "Sadie."

"I'm leaving for seven months!" I blurted out and waited to see how he would take it. All Tom could do was stare at me blankly, so I answered the questions that were probably running through his mind.

"I accepted a part for a movie that is going to be filmed in New Zealand for the next seven months."

Tom furrowed his eyebrows. "You didn't talk to me about it first?" Its not like Tom was saying I had to get his permission, but I almost always came to him about this kind of stuff.

"No… I didn't think you would want me to go."

"That would be incredibly selfish of me because this is a great opportunity for you, but you're right."

"I thought so…"

Tom's eyes locked on my lips and he leaned forward. This was it. Tom was going to kiss me. Maybe this time I would actually kiss back.

Just when I thought I couldn't wait any longer, Tom snapped out of his trance and pulled me into a hug instead. I lightly hugged him back, disappointment growing within me.


	21. Chapter 21

_**Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews(for those of you who are reviewing). I love this chapter because things happen finally! Next update hopefully Tuesday.**_

**Chapter 21**

"Bill, it's been a week. Just call her." Tom urged. Bill was sitting on his hotel bed, staring at his phone. He had yet to talk to Carol since the premiere. The next day after the premiere he was already over the whole thing. Normally he could hold a grudge, but not against Carol. He missed hearing her voice or just being in the same room with her.

"I can't call her…" Bill whimpered.

"Well she's not going to call you." Tom pulled a green shirt out of his suitcase.

Bill fell face forward into the bed. "Ugh… this is killing me."

"I know a way to make it all better." Tom said thoughtfully. Bill lifted his head and looked at him.

Tom grinned. "Call her." Bill rolled his eyes and stuck his face back in the bed.

Tom finished smoothing down his shirt and faced his brother. "Does this match?"

Bill nodded his head without even looking at Tom.

"Ugh whatever… So… Sadie is leaving tomorrow…" Tom sat next to his brother on the bed.

Bill lifted his head again and rolled on to his back. "Is wittle Tomi going to miss her?" Bill mimicked a baby.

"Shut up." Tom punched Bills shoulder.

"Hey! Mom said you couldn't hit me!" Bill grabbed his shoulder.

"Well mom's not here is she?" Tom taunted.

Bill crossed his arms and pouted. "Your mean." And then punched Tom back in the shoulder. Tom didn't even flinch.

"And this is why _I'm_ the older brother, cuz you're a wimp." He grinned.

"Whatever." Bill rolled on to his side now, his elbow supporting his head. "So are you going to miss her?"

"Of course! Sadie's…"

"Amazingly beautiful and you want her all to yourself, but she's not because your being stupid and pathetic and can't even admit you like her?" Bill finished for Tom.

"Well…"

"Oh, and you can't even finish a kiss you started." Bill snorted. "And you call me a wimp…"

"Sadie's different!" Tom exclaimed.

"I know! And I actually like her, but I can't figure out why you just can't tell her Tom. I'm sure she'd return the feelings…" Bill didn't want to say too much.

"Maybe she would but…for so long I've seen her as my little sister that I'm suppose to protect from boys that want to get into her pants and… now I'm one of the boys. I don't know what to do!" Tom dramatically threw his hands in the air.

Bill didn't' like seeing his brother like this. He was use to Tom being cool and suave with every girl. "I know a way to make it all better."

"How?"

"Tell her." Bill mocked Tom from earlier.

"Ugh…" Tom groaned and face planted next to his brother.

***

"Ugh! Why won't you close?!" I was sitting on the top of my suitcase, trying to pull the two zippers near each other, but it was turning out to be harder then I thought it would be. "Come on. Come on! So close!"

The zippers were just about to meet. With one last tug, the finally met.

"Yes! All done!" I hopped off my suitcase and admired my work. Three suitcases, crammed with new clothes, somehow all zipped shut.

For the past week I have been getting things ready to go for New Zealand. The last few things on my to do list was to get my suitcases shut (check!) and get my extensions taken out. I almost cried as they were taking out my long fake hair. Yes it was fake, but I've had long hair for almost two years now. I felt incomplete with out it. I looked in the mirror, trying to decide what I could do with it.

Tonight a mini party was being held at the hotel the boys were staying out. David rented out a small ballroom and a DJ for us. All of the people that were closest to me were invited. My mom and dad (but he was currently in Beijing), Tokio Hotel and their entourage, my cast (eww) and Carol. David called her since he knew the guys and I were annoyed with her. I wasn't really annoyed with her anymore though. I was just getting use to having a girl to call and gossip with over the phone. I didn't want to leave on an angry note, so I was glad she was coming, or I hoped she was.

I decided to straighten my layered, shoulder length hair and put a purple bow clip on the side of my head. The good thing was that my extensions were going to go back in for the movie. A princess should not have short hair.

"Honey! It's time to go!" My mom shouted from downstairs.

"Coming!"

***

I got into the hotel pretty easily without people recognizing me. They weren't use to me with short hair, plus I had my hood on. As soon as I walked into the room, I saw Bill running at me.

"Your hair! It's gone!" He exclaimed and couldn't stop touching it.

I laughed and batted his hands away. "Yes it's gone." I felt someone staring at me so I looked away from Bill to be met with Toms gaze. We could have stared at each other all night if Bill hadn't bumped into me, trying to get around me.

I turned around to Carol, looking very shy, standing in the door. Bill took her hand and dragged her to a corner.

"Carol, I think you and I should just forget what happened a week ago. I completely overreacted over nothing and I'm really sorry." He spoke quietly and sweetly.

Carol nodded her head. "Yea me too. I honestly don't care that much about what you guys do. I was just mad that you were mad at me… I'm sorry too." Bill gave a small smile and leaned into kiss Carol. He then took her hand and walked back to us looking very much like a couple.

"You guys made up already?" _That was fast_.

"Well I want this to be a fun night and it can't be if there is tension." Bill said.

"Guys I'm-" Carol started.

"It's cool." I smiled.

"Yea. We're over it." Tom stood at my side now.

"Thanks." Carol smiled and was then led away with Bill.

I looked at all the people that were here, just to say goodbye to me. There must have been 60 people in the room. I was surprised that the all decided to show up.

I turned to Tom and sighed. "Well… tonight's my last night."

"And because of that, David decided to help us try and make you're night a little bit better." Tom turned me towards a table and I instantly started to grin. There was alcohol all over the table.

"Eep!" I ran over to the table and grabbed the first thing my hand touched. "Ehh… too hard to start with." I was just about to put it down when I realized what I was holding. "Where the _hell_ did you get Everclear?" Everclear was a grain alcohol that was illegal in a few states because it can be anywhere from 76%-95% alcohol. Normal hard liquors were only 40% alcohol. Believe me, you do _not_ want to drink the stuff by itself. California was one of the states where it was illegal to buy.

David walked up to me and put his arm on my shoulder.

"Have you forgotten who I am? I'm Tokio Hotel's manager and former member of Bed and Breakfast."

"Oh right." I laughed and put the bottle back down. _Maybe later._

I had a pretty fun night taking shots with all the guys and partying it up. Even Carol joined us. Well sort of… She had Bill mix her up a tiny glass of rum and coke. She didn't like it at first, but soon got accustomed to the taste. By the end of the night she was pretty tipsy because she decided she liked it and wanted more.

I don't even think I drank that much. Like I had a pounding headache, but my vision wasn't that blurry. I could still see where I was going, but I wasn't really comprehending where I was going…''

***

I lay fast asleep, all warm and cuddly. I dreamed about the party. Tom and I pretty much hung out the entire night together. Sometimes we would have other guests that were there join us, but most of the time it was the Tokio Hotel guys, Carol and I. I remember downing a number of different drinks with the guys and then going out into the middle of the room to dirty dance with Tom. The only reason that happened was probably because I was pretty drunk by then. We were all pretty drunk.

I snuggled up to the warm, chiseled chest even more and… hold on. _Warm chiseled chest?_ I opened one eye and instantly regretted it. One, because the room was very bright and the sun was hurting my eyes. And two, I was sleeping on Toms naked chest.

I quickly pushed myself away, accidentally slapping him in the process, and because I moved too quickly my head started to pound again.

"Ah! Why are you hitting me woman!" Tom yelled and rolled away. I could hell he regretted moving too because he grabbed his head in pain. "Ow…"

"Tom!"

"What Sadie?" Tom rolled over to me and his eyes widened. "Sadie?!"

"What the hell am I doing in your bed?!" I exclaimed, surveying myself. All my clothes were still on. _Phew…_

"Are you pants still on?" I asked and threw the covers off Tom, afraid of what I might see. _Double phew…_ His big baggy jeans were still on his body.

"You don't think we…" I trailed off and Tom shook his head.

"I don't think so. You still have you're clothes on and so do I. Well mostly… but I always sleep without a shirt."

"Oh… good." I was hoping we didn't do anything. I did not want my first time to be while I was drunk and couldn't remember anything.

"Yea… I think we both just fell asleep here." Tom still looked nervous. I glanced at the clock and almost had a heart attack. It was 10am.

"Oh crap! I have to be at the airport at 10:30!" I was just about to jump (slowly of course) off his bed, when Tom grabbed my wrist. The next thing I know Toms lips were on mine and his arm was over my waist. I didn't waste any time. I kissed him back almost as soon as our lips touched. Tom pushed me over so he was on top, so I wrapped my arms around his neck. _Finally! _ I had never been kissed this way before. There was so much passion and hunger.

Of course just when it was getting good, my cell phone rang… again. Tom groaned and moved off me, so I could answer my phone that was in my pocket.

"Hello?" I answered awkwardly.

"WHERE ARE YOU?! YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO BE HOME RIGHT NOW! THE CAR IS HERE TO PICK YOU UP AND YOU'RE NOT HERE!" _Good morning to you too mom_. I winced and pulled the phone away.

"Mom. I'm coming. I'll be there in 15 minutes." I sat up. _Ow! Headache!_ "Bye." I put my phone back in my pocket and looked at Tom. He was just staring at me, sadness in his eyes.

"So this is goodbye?" He didn't sound happy at all. I nodded, not wanting to leave him at all. I just wanted to crawl back in the bed and kiss him some more.

Tom scooted to me and kissed me again. Slow and long, before pulling away.

"I'll miss you." He whispered.

"I'll miss you too." I whispered and walked to the door. "Bye Tom." He looked like a little lost puppy as I left his room. I tried to hold back my tears because I wanted to go and say goodbye to Bill.

I found the master key to all the rooms in my pocket and let myself into his room. What I saw shocked me. Clothes were everywhere. I immediately looked up to the bed to see Bill and Carol sleeping very close together. I knew exactly what happened here last night.

I heard Bill murmur and his eyes opened to see me standing in his room

"Hey Sadie." His voice was all sleepy like and I don't think he noticed Carol next to him. I nodded to her and he casually looked over, and that's when his eye widened. He had the same reaction as me and quickly pushed her away. Carol groaned and opened her eyes. She glanced at Bill, then me, but quickly back at Bill again. She stared at him with huge eyes and about .2 seconds later, both are screaming at the top of their lungs.

"Um... bye!" I ran out of the room, not believing my eyes. "Bill and Carol just… oh my God…" _What a great way to start my morning._ Just when I thought I couldn't freak out in my mind anymore, I then remembered Tom and smiled.


	22. Chapter 22

_**Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait. Extreamly busy. My mom is better, she's home now :D So everything is back to normal. She was so cool today. So I have to get a dress for a fashion show next month, so I go on and try on dresses. I find one I like and call her and ask "Hey mom… want to buy me a dress and shrug to go with it?" and she was all "Sure! I'll give you my credit card." I love her even more when she's like that.**_

_**So I hope you enjoy chapter 22. Feed back is AMAZING. :D**_

**Chapter 22**

I'm sure you're thinking that because Tom kissed me, things are different between us. Well its not. Its still been the same old, same old, for the past three months. I don't know what I was expecting. Tom to tell me that he is madly in love with me and wants to me to have his kid? Maybe that's what I was thinking, but that's certainly not how is. He still calls me three or four times a week to talk, but it's never about the kiss. Every time I try to bring it up, he quickly changes the subject. It's just like the last time he kissed me. I don't know what his problem is. If he likes me, he should tell me. Maybe he just wants to be friends with benefits… I'm not totally against that, but I prefer to have him as a boyfriend. I guess this is as good as it's going to get though… friends with benefits… Yay…

I was amazed at how strong my back and my legs had gotten. All that training and weight lifting (hey, those swords are _not_ light) every day, really tired me out. It was a blast though. We also go to do horseback riding, which was totally awesome. For some of the film we are seen riding through the thick, green forests here.

It's so beautiful… I wish this were what California looked like. It was so green… so fairytale like. Exactly how I liked it. The shooting of the film was on location, so we got to go to a totally secluded area. Just the nature and us.

I met my co-star, Ian. He has dark brown shaggy hair, green eyes and tan skin. He is so cute, but such a klutz. He manages to run through a fighting scene smoothly, but as soon as we finish he somehow ends up on the ground or hurting someone. I don't know how he does it, but it always makes me laugh. Ian was really nice and sweet to me. We have many inside jokes now and we're constantly laughing at something. Our trainer, Chris, was always telling us to stop goofing around and to concentrate on learning the moves. I had taken a quick liking to Ian, and knew we we're going to be good friends. Of course, Tom will always be my best friend.

The crew of the movie is really nice. They make you feel at home, when you're home is so far away.

Did you know that New Zealand is 19 hours ahead of California? That's like almost a day ahead! When I first arrived, I was so confused as to what the date was. I thought it was the 16th instead of the 17th and decided to sleep in. The director, Brent, had to call me and ask where I was.

"Where are you?" Brent asked impatiently.

I yawned and then answered. "Don't I have to be on set tomorrow?"

"No. Today!"

"Oh crap! Sorry!" I scrambled out bed and got ready to go.

Later that day I had gotten a text from Tom.

_So I heard you saw my brother naked. I'm sorry. I would've been a better view._

I snorted and texted him back.

_I'm sure you would've been Tom __*** **__rolls eyes *And I didn't get to see anything of Bills. Darn._

Of course that was all sarcasm, and I'm sure Tom knew that. I stretched out on my bed, exhausted from the flight. It was a long twenty hours from California to here. I didn't sleep well, so I was very tired.

I looked at my phone as it vibrated to see that Tom was calling.

"Yes?"

"You wanted to see him naked?!" Ok, so maybe Tom didn't know I was being sarcastic.

"Yea." I decided to go along with what I had started. "I wanted to see him in all of his glory. I've always imagined it."

"Do you have some weird infatuation with my brother?" Tom asked. I could tell that he was confused.

"Whose infatuated with me?" I heard Bill ask in the background.

"Sadie." Tom answered.

"Well duh. Every girl is infatuated with me." Bill smiled at Tom.

"I guess so." Tom agreed. "Yea. She was telling me that she wants to see your di-"

He wasn't suppose to tell him that. "Tom!"

Bill grabbed the phone from Tom and put it to his ear. "Sorry Sadie. My happy place is reserved for Carol only."

"I don't want to hear that!" Eww…

"Well it's true!"

"Bill!"

"Fine. I'll shut up. But ya know… I'm sure Tom isn't that bad. Because were twins and so were pretty much the same size. And believe me, even ask Carol, I'm pretty big. So that means Tom-" The phone clicked in his ear. Bill frowned and gave the phone back to Tom. "I think she hung up on me."

Tom rolled his eyes. "Gee I wonder why."

I did not want to hear about Bills size or whatever. I was just joking and my joke led to hearing that Bill is big. Great… Wait how does that work? I mean he's like a fricken twig and- ugh! Never mind. I don't want to know! It was funny though. Bill sounded so innocent talking about himself, like it was no big deal at all.

Hold up. I've been gone for a day! How would Carol know about Bill?! You know what? I don't care. It's not my business and I prefer not to know about their sex life.

Psh… I don't even have a sex life and my best friend is Germanys playboy!

I had talked to Carol about the night of my party with Bill. At first she seemed scared and regretful, but as time went on, she didn't seem to care anymore. I'm pretty sure they've done it again, but this time both were aware of what was happening.

Coming back to present time, today was my last day of training. The next three days I had off before we had to start filming. I can't tell you how many times we had to do fittings for the clothes I wore. For most of the film I wore the same outfit, but towards the end I had a few more changes. My weight kept changing so we either had to make the dress bigger or smaller. The wardrobe department took my final measurements today and said they would be very upset if they had to change the dress size again.

"Ian. Hurry up!" I called. Ian was running out of the food tent, trying to get his jacket on as he ran after me. I was going to the area where we kept the horses. We had to practice our last riding scene before the day ended.

"I'm coming!" Ian yelled. "Wait up." I just sped up, laughing at his struggle, and ended up at the gate where the horses were kept.

Chris came out of nowhere pulling Ian's horse, Cinnamon, out of the gated area.

I had never laughed before as hard as I did today. Ian was on his horse and instead of starting out in a slow trot; Cinnamon took off, throwing Ian off him. Ian's wrist was wrapped in the reigns, so Cinnamon was dragging him around. I know I shouldn't be laughing, but you totally had to be here.

"It's not funny Sadie…" Ian grumbled, after Chris had untangled him.

"Yes it is." I smirked which made Ian push me lightly.

"Hey! You can't touch a lady!"

"Well I don't see a lady here so…" Ian trailed off and I pushed him back.

"Abusive aren't ya?" Ian smiled.

"Yea!" I pushed him again, but a bit too hard this time. I watched as he struggled to stay up right, but he ended up falling face first into the mud that was in the horse corral… at least I think it was mud.

"Haha… sorry." I tried not to laugh, but of course I couldn't help it.

"Why don't you join me?" Ian grabbed my wrist and pulled me down.

"Ahh!" The mud splattered everywhere and covered the whole front side of me. "Eww!"

"Isn't it fun down here?" Ian grinned, while trying to brush off the wet mud.

"Ian, Sadie! Stop messing around! Get back here!" I don't know if Chris sounds like an ass to you, but trust me, he isn't. If you could see him right now, he had a huge smile on his face.

Ian stood up and held his hand out to me. I took his hand, but after half way of getting up, I slipped taking Ian down with me.

"Sorry!" I laughed. Ian grabbed a bit of mud and threw it at me.

***

I took a REALLY long shower in my hotel room after getting back from the set. There was dried mud in my hair and in other places dried mud shouldn't be.

I turned on the TV to the entertainment channel as I combed my wet, tangly hair.

My cell phone started to ring so I answered it.

"Hey Tomi!"

Tom cringed as he heard his nickname. "Do you have to call me that?"

"Mhmm!"

"Ugh… ok so I'm calling to tell you we are _finally_ going into the studio to record our 3rd album."

"Really?" It had been two years since their last album came out. "Finally!"

"Yea. Only thing is we're going to be really busy. I don't know how often I'll be able to talk to you." Tom seemed sad.

"It's cool. I'm going to get really busy too. We start shooting in three days. But if you don't talk to me for two weeks straight, _then_ I'm going to get mad." The TV screen was now showing Tokio Hotel getting interviewed.

"I'll try and call you once a week then."

"Tom." The lady interviewing the boys smiled at him. "Any new girls?"

"No, there isn't." Tom paused. "I'm actually kind of wanting to start a real relationship."

"Tom Kaulitz wants a _real_ relationship?" The lady looked shocked.

"Uh yea." Tom laughed. "There's this girl I really like. Maybe we'll get together."

The lady looked excited. "Does this girl have a name?" Tom shrugged with a smirk, showing that he wasn't going to say anything more.

"Oh um… that's fine." I said coming back to the real world. _Was Tom talking about me?_


	23. Chapter 23

**I have nothing really to say, except, I hope you like Chapter 23! The next time I'll be able to post is Tuesday night.**

**Chapter 23**

"Hey who do you like?" I wanted to know.

"What do you mean?" Tom asked.

"I mean, I'm watching an interview on TV and some lady just asked if you had any new girls, and you said you wanted to start a real relationship.

Tom was quiet and then spoke. "Oh… that."

"Yea. Who is it?" _Please let it be me!_

"I'll give you a hint, she has long hair." _Why can't you just tell me?!_ I smiled, but then frowned, realizing I had short hair.

"Can you give me a _bigger_ hint?" Like I was supposed to know who it was.

I heard talking in the background. "Sadie, Tomi has to go." Bill said. "David needs to talk him about something."

"Fine whatever." I sighed. "Just call me later ok Tom?"

"Right!" Tom yelled. "Bye Sadie." And Bill hung up.

_Dude… whose the girl?!_

***

I spent the next three days with Ian. We went into the little villages nearby and acted like total tourists. You know, the fanny packs, camera around neck and taking pictures of and with everything. We got a few weird looks from the people who lived there, but we didn't care. A handful of teenagers knew who I was and wanted to take pictures with Ian and I. I had no problem pleasing the fans. Ian wasn't that famous yet. He was from England (totally sexy accent) and had only done a few short films. This was his big break and I wanted him to do well. I introduced him to the fans as the new up and coming sexy heartthrob. The fans totally agreed.

I did learn something about him that I wasn't expecting. We were eating ice cream at a little shop and pointing out the people we thought were cute.

"Oh my God! Look at him! Gorgeous!" I had spotted a tall, muscular blonde.

"Oh yea!" Ian agreed. I was just about to take another bite of my ice cream, but suddenly put my spoon back down.

"You're joking right?" It didn't sound like he was.

"Umm… no?" Ian grinned nervously.

"So wait… you're telling me that you think that guy is cute?!" _Is he g-_

"I'm gay." Ian certainly didn't beat around the bush. I sat back in my chair and stared at him.

"Awesome!" I suddenly exclaimed. He didn't seem to be expecting that reaction.

Ian raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"That's totally cool! I've always wanted a gay friend!" I couldn't control my excitement. I knew gay people, but none of them were my close friends like Ian. I started to clap my hands and squeal.

"Oh." Ian then smiled, relieved that I was being so chill about it. "Well good!" Dude, since he's gay I had someone else to go shopping with, someone to have sleepovers with, and most importantly, someone to talk about cute boys with!

"Well… you kind of got Bill…"

"Yea Bill's a bit feminine, but he'll never walk around with me and point out hot guys." In the beginning when I was first getting to know him, he seemed pissed whenever I'd be like "Oh! He's hot! Don't you think so?!" I then figured out, Bill is not gay. Too bad… we could have had even more fun times.

Ian leaned and whispered, "Yea now that you know, could we keep this on the DL? I don't really want anyone to know yet."

"Yea sure. No problem." Ian didn't strike me as gay at all. He seemed to like everything that guys liked; the only difference is that he liked guys too.

"Thanks." Ian smiled and took a bite out of his ice cream cone.

***

The phone calls got fewer and fewer each week. It pretty much went into one phone call a week. Sure, I understood why. Recording songs can keep you busy, but I still wanted to talk to him more often.

Since Tom didn't have enough time to talk, Carol would call me. She was upset when the boys had to leave her back in California, while they were in Germany recording. It was very lonely for her because she didn't go to a normal school, so she never got to hang out with anyone. I was happy for her when she told me she got a job at Pets Mart. She got to play with animals and talk to people at the same time.

"Have you been looking up Tokio Hotel on the internet lately?" Carol asked. I had some downtime on the set, so I was free to talk.

"No. Why?"

"Apparently he's been hanging out with some girl named Delia and she looks very happy to be with him." Carol was looking at a picture on the Internet.

"There's a picture? Send me it!" _Toms hanging with another girl?_ I had no reason to be jealous. Tom could hang out with other girls if he wanted to.

My phone vibrated and picture of Tom and a girl popped up on the screen. Tom was hugging the girl around her waist from behind and she was wearing a huge grin. The girl had red hair, _long_ red hair. My heart sunk instantly. Tom had another girl because I couldn't be around.

"Sadie." I looked up from the picture to see Ian. "Come on. They want us to run lines together." I nodded and put my phone in my pocket. I was wearing pants underneath my dress because it was cold and we weren't filming at the moment.

"You all right?" Ian asked with general concern.

I put on a fake smile. "Yea… I'm fine."

Ian stopped and grabbed my hand. "Are you sure?"

I nodded and Ian started to walk again. I had no reason to be upset. I didn't know if the girl meant anything to him, but the picture made it look like it did.

***

"Sadie, try not to move too much to the left. You're stepping out of the frame." Brent was doing his job, directing a scene. I nodded and moved closer to Ian. We were filming a scene where a gang of angry village people were about to ambush us.

"A little closer." Brent said. I stepped towards Ian and Brent seemed to be satisfied. "Ok, when I say go, you are going to run into that forest as fast as you can."

"Cool." Ian and I got ready. We put on terrified faces and acted like we were about to be caught.

"Go!" Ian and I took off into the forest, running as fast as our legs could carry us. Ian had grabbed my hand and was pulling me along. I had never run so fast before. My legs were aching after a minute, but we still hadn't heart Brent call cut.

"Do you think we should stop?" I yelled. We were too far a way for the camera to hear or see us. Ian stopped and we both fell on the ground, trying to catch our breath. I suddenly felt something touch my hand. I looked down and my heart stopped. There was a big, fat tarantula crawling on my hand. I let a shrill scream, shook the spider off my hand and sprinted back to the crew.

"Why are we running back?" Ian called behind.

"S-spider! Huge!" I exclaimed and reached the crew within seconds. They looked at us with question marks all on their faces.

"There's a FRICKEN HUGE ASS SPIDER BACK THERE!" I screamed at them, still shook up.

"What was it?" Brent asked.

I started to brush off my hand where the spider had been. "I think it was like a tarantula or something… EW!" The crew then started to laugh.

"What's so funny?!" Spiders were nothing to laugh about.

"Tarantulas are harmless." Brent smiled. "And even if it did biet you, you would feel mild pain and it would swell for a few hours. That's it."

"It's a fricken spider! I don't care if it's harmless or not! It has eight furry legs!" I can't believe they were laughing at me. "Dude, I'm even afraid of those tiny spiders that are like almost microscopic!"

"Did you know that you swallow at least 4 or 5 spiders a year when you sleep?" Ian asked and my eyes widened.

Ian shrugged. "Don't worry. They're microscopic."

"Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew…" I ran back to my trailer and quickly washed my hand off where that hairy thing had been.

***

I lay on my bed, exhausted from today. Running and screaming several times can really take a lot out of you. We had to do that running scene 5 or 6 times, but they didn't have us run as far, because I didn't want to run into that scary spider.

My phone vibrated and I looked to see it was another picture from Carol. That stupid Delia girl and Tom were kissing! My heart sunk even lower and I felt jealousy surge through me. I made the picture go away and quickly called Tom, hoping he would pick up.

"Hel-"

"Who is that girl?!"

"Oh, hey Sadie."

"Who is that girl?" I asked again.

"What girl?"

"That Delia girl you're kissing!" I didn't mean to sound so mad, but I couldn't help it. I thought Tom liked me!

"Delia? She's my ex girlfriend from like 3 years ago." Tom was calm.

"Then why the hell are you kissing her?"

Tom had put his guitar down. "Sadie, she kissed me! Believe me, I didn't kiss her back! The paparazzi got lucky and snapped the picture when she did."

"But-"

"Sadie, I'm not interested in her. She's just an old friend now."

"Who seems to still like you." I said bitterly.

Tom smiled. "It's nice to know you're jealous."

I raised an eyebrow. "Jealous? Who said I was jealous?"

"Aw come on Sadie, you know you're in love with me." Tom joked.

"Ok!" I scoffed.

"But really Sadie," His voice suddenly got quiet. "It's nice to know that I can make you jealous."

"Why?" _Was he finally going to tell me he liked me?_

"Because." I could tell he was smirking.

"Because…"

"Because…" His voice got even quieter. "I feel like I have a chance."

"A chance? At what?" _He has to be talking about me._

"Look I have to go." Tom whispered the last part. My heart stopped and my stomach did flip flops.

" A chance at being with you."


	24. Chapter 24

_**Hey guys! Thanks for waiting and THANKS for the nice reviews. You guys are awesome! **_

**Chapter 24**

Tom hung up and I was going crazy. I stood up on my bed and started jumping like a crazy person hyped on caffeine. I yelled at the top of my lungs, "Tom likes me! Tom likes me! Tom likes me!" while still jumping.

Ian then barged into my room (same thing as Tokio Hotel. We all have the master key) and shouted, "Shut up!"

I jumped off my bed, ran over to him with a silly grin, took his arms and started jumping again. "Tom likes me! Tom likes me! Tom likes- Hey! Jump with me!"

"Tom _Kaulitz?"_

"Yes…" I stopped jumping. "What other Tom do I know?"

Ian broke into a cheeky grin. "You're one lucky bitch."

"I know, right!" I then started to jump again. "Tom likes me! Tom likes me! Tom likes me!"

***

It's been a month. Tom hasn't called since the day he said he wanted to be with me. I started to go crazy with worry. Does he still like me? Is he too busy with his music and forgot to call? Is that stupid bitch Delia, trying to get with him? Did he give into her evil ways?

If only I could get just one simple little text message saying how he's sorry hasn't called… that would be amazing. But no. I get NO text messages, phone calls or emails.

Right now I was on the set with Ian, popping a ton of Wintergreen Altoids in my mouth. Why was I stuffing a ton of Altoids in my mouth? Well, today Ian and I had a kissing scene, because in the film we are to play lovers. Yay for us… I wasn't necessarily nervous about it; I just didn't want to have bad breath or anything. I've kissed other dudes on screen before, no big deal, but today's kiss was a bit different then the others. The others were just PG rated. This one was PG-13.

I sat down on the sand in front of the lake next to Ian.

"I've never kissed a gay guy before." I said randomly, staring out at the lake. It shouldn't be any different though.

"Well lucky for me, I've kissed a girl before." Ian smiled. "I'll lead."

"Fine with me. Um…" I paused. "Think we should practice it? I've never done a kiss like this before on screen." Of course I wanted to kiss him, I mean gosh, he's really cute. I knew nothing would or could happen. One, he's gay. Two, I have Tom, or at least I think I still do.

Ian shrugged, "Ok." Ian leaned in and his lips met mine. It started out really slow, but things started to move very quickly. Ian reached over and put one arm on the other side of me, his torso across mine, so he could get as close as possible. I instinctively put my hand on his face and the kiss suddenly deepened. It was like he was eating my face off. It was so odd, yet nice at the same time. Tom's image flashed in my mind and I started to smile. Ian noticed and started to lean me back towards the sand. I suddenly came back to reality when I blinked and saw a flash out of the corner of my eye. I instantly moved away from Ian, catching my breath and looked for a sign of a photographer. Nothing. I didn't see anything.

I looked at Ian who had a smug look on his face. "And that's how it's done."

"Oh," I tucked a strand of hair nervously behind my ear. "Um… thanks for practicing with me." I got up and walked to my trailer, dazed.

***

I went back on set later and did the scene with Ian. This time, the crew was ready to capture it on film.

I was a bit weird around Ian for the rest of the day. He seemed to enjoy the kiss, which was strange. I mean he's gay. Do gay guys like kissing girls?

The highlight of my day though was when I _finally_ got a text from Tom saying '_I'm thinking of you.'_ I squealed with excitement and hugged my phone. That was the first time Tom had contacted me in a month! I knew Tom was busy, or else he would have called me. I responded by telling him that I missed him.

Ya know, I just realized I haven't told you anything about Sean lately. Sean called me a few times a month to talk about "us", but I continued to tell him that there was no "us." He didn't seem too happy about that. Our phone calls would end with him calling me or a bitch or some other vulgar name I didn't care to hear. For some reason, I still took his calls. I don't know why though. He would quickly tell me how sorry he was about the way he hung up on me every time he called. Maybe it's because I liked talking to somebody besides Ian and Carol all the time. I did promise Sean though that when I get back, he'd be one of the first people I hang out with.

Normally it would be Tom, but he's going to be in Europe touring for the new album and I'll be in California, so I was stuck with Sean. Three days after I got home however, I would be flying out to Germany to do some presswork and hang out with Tom while he's on tour. Carol was coming with me, so we were both really excited to see our boys again. Seven months is really too long. Sometimes I would randomly start crying in my room because of how much I missed all of them.

I still talked to my mom nightly. I would fill her in on the fun on set and tell her how much I missed her. She would respond by crying and telling me how much she 'missed her baby.'

My phone started to vibrate. I looked at the caller ID.

"Hey To-"

"Why are you kissing another guy?!" Tom yelled in the phone.

"Excuse me?"

Tom read something that sounded like it was a title of an article. "_Has Sadie Hawkins found love on set?_"

"What…"

"There is a picture of you and that Ian guy kissing on what looks like a little beach!"

I was a little confused as to why he was angry. "Ok so…we filmed a kissing scene today."

"I don't see any cameras or people around!"

"Well duh! They aren't supposed to be in the scene!"

"No. This picture was taking from somebody else's camera far away from you guys. It's like the person was on the other side of the water and zoomed in on the two of you. There are _no_ people _anywhere_ except you two." Tom argued.

"What…" I frowned but then it instantly hit me. "Oh my God! I knew there was somebody there!"

"Care to explain?" Tom sounded frustrated.

"I wanted to practice the scene with Ian because I've never done that kind of kiss before. We stopped when I saw flash. I thought somebody was there, but I couldn't see anybody. I swear Tom. Ian and I were only practicing the scene." _Dang, already on the Internet already?_

"Mhmm." He didn't seem convinced. _Ooo… I can make Tom jealous.._

"I'm serious! Look, don't tell anybody this, but Ian's gay!"

"Ian Fillmore? No he's not!" Tom scoffed. "Do you know how many chicks that guy has had?"

"Huh?"

"Ian may not be famous in America, but he's famous in some parts of Europe. That guy is constantly going from one girl to another." Tom said. _Kind of like you?_ I wanted to say, but didn't feel like it was the right time.

"But… but he said he was gay!" I exclaimed.

"Maybe it was all an act and he really is, but maybe he's not. Maybe he's trying to get you super comfortable around him." Tom sighed. "Sadie, I really miss you. I don't want some guy to come between us." _Same thing goes for your stupid ex!_

"I miss you too Tom, but I can honestly say I have no feelings for Ian." It felt odd this time that I was trying to reassure Tom, instead of him for me. I really didn't though. Yea the boy was really cute, but no one could top Tom.

I suddenly raised my voice, "Why haven't you called me?! I've been waiting around for a whole fricken month hoping that you would call!"

"I know…" Tom's voice saddened. "I've been wanting to call you, but we're so close to finishing the album that I spend almost all my time recording or sleeping. Believe me, there hasn't been a day that's gone by that I haven't thought of calling you."

"Really?" I smiled.

"Yea… I don't know how I can stand another two and a half months without you." He said sincerely.

"I miss being with you too… It sucks. I hate these stupid phone calls."

"Yea… I just want to be with you right now…" Tom sighed again. "As usual… I can't talk very long and I have to go."

"Already?" I didn't want to hang up yet. It had been an entire month since I talked to him!

"Yea. Dream about me, but don't have too much fun in your dreams. Wink wink."

"Shut up Tom." I laughed.

"Hey, all I'm saying' is keep the "fun" a surprise. Besides, I'm sure I'll be much better in person." I could totally tell he was smirking, but my heart stopped.

"I'll talk to you later Sadie." My face turned red and I was grateful there was no one else in the room.

"Bye…" I whispered. I then remembered I had to talk to Ian about this whole "gay" thing. I walked over to his room and couldn't stop thinking about what Tom had said. Tom was talking about sex… TOM WAS TALKNG ABOUT SEX!

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_**I'm sorry if this was a little short and boring. The next one should be longer. Drama is coming folks…**_


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

Ian was sitting on the floor, his back against the bed playing video games, when I entered his room.

"Are you gay?" I asked as soon as the door was shut.

"Uh duh." His eyes were concentrated on the TV screen. "I already told you I was."

"Well then how come you had a bunch of girlfriend before hand?"

Ian paused the video game and looked at me. "Who told you that?"

"Tom."

Ian raised an eyebrow. "You talk to Tom about me?"

"He said you're not gay." I crossed my arms in front of me.

Ian got up from the floor. "You said you wouldn't tell anyone!"

"And normally I would keep my promises but… I need to know what today was all about."

"What are you talking about?"

I sighed and sat down on the edge of Ian's bed. "That whole kissing thing-"

"Yea. We had to do a kissing scene today." Ian said rather quickly.

"No I mean earlier."

"You asked if we could practice the scene and we did. What else do you need to know?"

_Might as well just say it._ "Do you like me?" It was very timid the way I said it.

"Sadie! I'm gay!" Ian exclaimed. "Why would you say that?"

"Well I don't know! You seemed to have really enjoyed kissing me."

"Have you forgotten what we do for a living?" Ian took a seat next to me. "We're _actors._"

"I know but-"

"All we did was _act_ today. That's it." Ian had a firm look across his face.

"But-"

"That's all." Ian wouldn't let me talk about it.

"Why are you so quick to answer?" I challenged him.

"Because that's all we did!" Ian shifted uncomfortably.

"Why so defensive?" I asked with a smirk.

"I'm not defensive!"

"Yes you are." I laughed. Ian's eyes fell to the ground "What?"

"I'm- I'm just having trouble dealing with this. Like one second I like guys, then the next I suddenly like girls! It's like my instincts were taking over!"

I suddenly realized what was going on.

"So your Bi then?"

"Uh I guess... I don't know. I was doing fine before I met you." Ian sighed. "I only dated those girls back home because I didn't want my parents to be ashamed for having a gay son."

"So wait… you're saying you've always been into guys up until you met me?"

"Yea, I think. It kind of scared me. It felt so natural to be kissing you, like it's where I'm suppose to be..." I was beginning to see the vulnerable side of Ian.

"But you think something is wrong with you because your suppose to like guys?" I was trying to figure him out.

"Yea! I mean, am I not gay anymore? Do I like girls now?" Ian looked so confused.

"Well, like I said earlier, your probably Bi and there is nothing wrong with that. You can like guys _and_ girls."

"But you're the only girl I like!" Ian exclaimed. "I normally don't want to go any farther then a kiss but with you…" Ian trailed off.

"Maybe you're just confused, and you think like me, but you really don't. Maybe being so far away and for so long is messing with you." I lightly grabbed his hand.

"Yea…" Ian scratched his head with his free hand. "Maybe."

I suddenly leaned in and kissed him, waiting to see what would happen next. Just as I had expected, he leaned in and responded. Ian abruptly stopped and slid away from me.

"So…?" _Did he like it or hate it? I'm guessing, liked it._

"I liked it!" Ian buried his head in his hands and let a frustrated sigh. I giggled and pulled his hands away from his face.

"Ian, people change and hey, look at it this way. You have WAY more options then I do in finding someone to be with."

Ian broke into a little grin. "I guess that's true."

"Yea. I always be stuck trying to find a guy who actually listens to me and does what I say." I laughed.

"Sucks to be you then huh?" Ian scooted closer to me again.

I rolled my eyes. "Yea."

"But um… Sadie you don't have to worry about me liking you or whatever. When I said like, I mean I like kissing you. " Ian looked into my eyes. "I see you as a friend. And I know you like Tom. I don't want to get in the way of that."

"Thanks Ian." I pulled him into a quick hug. "And it's normal for a guy to like kissing a girl."

"Good… Cuz I liked it." Ian grinned.

***

Today was a bittersweet day. Bitter because I said goodbye to Ian and all the people I had met over the past seven months. Sweet, because I was finally going home. I was going to miss all my new friends, but right now I could hardly wait to step off the plane into wonderful California.

I made myself more comfortable in my seat and thought about the last seven months. I had met many wonderful people and Ian had become one of my good friends. I did everything with him. Occasionally there would be younger extras on the set, but that wasn't too often.

Did you know I actually had to work with a big spider? Brent thought my reaction about the spider in the woods was funny, and decided to add a spider to the movie. They painted a tarantula so it was all black with yellow spots here and there. I had to let it crawl across my bare legs and be fascinated with it. Let me tell you, those were some serious acting skills I used. On the outside I acted like the spider was the coolest thing in the world, but inside I was freaking out and wanted to squash the eight-legged freak.

I had a few more kissing scenes with Ian, but we were both chill about it. After Ian and I had that little conversation we knew exactly how to handle it. The first time I did a kissing scene with him and the cameras, he seemed a bit giddy. Now he was all relaxed about it.

The wardrobe and makeup ladies were so cool. They taught me different make up techniques and helped me improve my style. I now was an expert on the Smokey eye.

Oh did I tell you? Ian hooked up with someone… and it was a girl! They met at a coffee shop in the little village and ended up going to her house for the night. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know what went down that night. He came on the set the next morning with a stupid grin painted on his face.

"How was your night?" I wiggled my eyebrows.

"Great!" He smiled, grabbed my hands and started spinning me around like a child on a sugar high. We got many strange looks from the crew. Ian was now coming to terms that he liked both girls and guys and he seemed happy.

Carol and Sean were excited to have me back. Carol because she had been stuck in California alone, and her Aunt started making her go to her church and hang out with all the kids. Carol liked some of them, but they were all fascinated that she was friends with me, and that annoyed her most of the time. Sean, I'm sure it was because his "make out buddy" had come back. But I wasn't going to do that with Sean anymore. I had Tom, well he hasn't asked me out yet, but I'm sure he will in due time.

I would love to give you an update on Tom and I, but there was nothing to update. Everything was the same. He was in Germany, I was in New Zealand. I should have an update real soon though. I'm going to see him in three days! I wanted to see my mom, Carol and Sean yea, but these next three days are going to the longest three days of my life.

***

I walked through the door to my house and there was my mom. I dropped my bags and ran to hug her.

"I missed you sweetie! Never leave again for seven months! It's too long! I don't know what I'm suppose to do around the house!" My mom cried. I looked around. Someone was missing.

"Where's dad?" Did I forget to tell you? My dad was coming back to visit! It's been a year and half since I had last seen him. He wanted to be here to celebrate me finishing my first big movie.

"He umm… he had some unfinished business to attend to in India." My mom said softly. "He says he's sorry and he wishes he could be here."

"He couldn't tell me this himself?" I frowned and felt tears crawl into my eyes.

"Don't you cry for him ok?" She pulled me into another hug. "We've gone this long without him. We can certainly go longer."

I pulled away and grabbed my suitcases.

"I'm going to go un pack right now…" I sniffed and started up the stairs.

"Don't be too long, ok honey? Carol, Sean and I are taking you out to dinner."

"Thanks mom." I half smiled and made my way to my room. Of course business comes before me. It always has and probably always will. I wasn't that upset that he wasn't here, because in the back of my mind, I knew he wasn't going to be. He's made dozens of promises to come home, but he never did. I secretly think he is having an affair with one of his assistants that are always with him. Wouldn't be much of a surprise.

My phone vibrated and I instantly perked up.

_So, I hear you are back home. Lucky California. I wish I were there to have welcomed you home. I'm counting the seconds till I see you. - Tom_

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**Drama starts in the next chapter… ;) Look for it Tuesday night or Wednesday morning.**


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

I was met at the Mexican restaurant with my two good friends Carol and Sean. There was lots of hugging and "Oh my God! I missed you!" "You can't leave for 7 months ever again!" "Dang baby, you got hotter." Wonder who said the last one…

Outside a million and one paparazzo's surrounded the building. After seven months of being out of the limelight, everyone wanted to have the first picture. I just put my sunglasses on and casually waved. Yea, I didn't really miss them all that much.

You know what sucks about being famous? Every guy likes you and wants you. Well, not _every_ guy, but a lot of them. And all day, everyday, you have to listen to their nonsense and stupid catcalls. They even tell you what they want to do with you. In New Zealand, I didn't have to deal with this. I could just walk around, and not have to be subjected to their nasty comments. A lot of the boys outside were doing this. Even some of the paparazzi…

Dinner with my friends and my mom was pretty fun. We shared stories about what had happened to us over the last seven months. Sean met a girl and hooked up with twice… my mom was not exactly pleased to hear this. Carol was being made to spend more time with her Aunts youth group.

"She is making me go to winter church camp with them at the end of the year! I like church and all, but I don't want to be stuck with those stupid people for a whole week!" Carol exclaimed and took of a sip of her virgin strawberry daiquiri. We all got the same drink. I'm sure we would have much preferred the non-virgin, but my mom was here and unfortunately there was that fricken drinking law.

I don't understand how Carol and Sean can eat so much and stay so thin. Seriously. They at a HUGE basket of chips, a big bowl of home made guacamole, gigantic burritos, and their own fried chocolate chip ice cream. I bet I gained a pound just looking at the burritos. It's not fair. I wish I had a fast metabolism. Since I started the movie I had begun to work out every day, and now I was in perfect physical condition. There was no way I was going to waste all that hard work in one night at a Mexican restaurant.

"Dang I wish it was my birthday." I sighed while watching Carol and Sean scarf their ice cream.

"Why?" Sean said a mouthful of food.

"Because then you get the Triple layer chocolate cake with white chocolate icing, drizzled with cherry syrup. They only give that if it is your birthday."

"Then just say it's your birthday!"

"I'm kind of famous remember? Everyone knows it's not my birthday."

"Exactly!" Carol put her fork down. "You're Sadie Hawkins! You can get whatever you want."

"It's just cake. Plus it would be unfair to everyone around me who doesn't get that piece of amazingness because it's not their birthday." I shrugged. "I don't need it anyway."

Carol and my mom excused their selves to the bathroom, which left Sean and I.

"Hey want to hang at my place after this?" Sean asked.

"Umm…" I honestly wanted to go home and sleep. The long flight tired me out.

Sean grinned. "Come on. You said I would be the first person you would hang out with."

I leaned back in my chair and sighed. "Fine. Just for a little while, then I'm going home."

"This should be fun." Sean smirked.

"Yea. Sure." I replied with a roll of my eyes.

***

"Don't be out too late." My mom hugged me as I left with Sean. Carol eyed Sean suspiciously. I knew she didn't want me to hang out with him, but I assured her it would be all right.

I left the restaurant with Sean, and of course, the paparazzi followed us all the way to the car. They kept shouting, "Sadie! Great too see you!" "Is this your new boyfriend?" "What's his name?" "Are you and Tom not friends anymore?" "What will Tom think when he sees you hanging out with another guy?" I ignored all and held a straight face until I got into his car. Sean was the opposite. He smiled and waved at all the cameras. I had to jab him in the side with my elbow to keep him from saying anything. I knew whatever Sean said, the media would take completely out of context, and then the rumors would start.

As we pulled up to his house, I quickly noted that there weren't any other cars in the driveway.

"Where are you parents?" I asked when I stepped through the front door of his house. It was big, white and very expensive looking inside.

"They went to the Bahamas on vacation. Be back in like a week or whatever." Sean's parents were doctors and worked at the local hospital. They weren't poor, but they were upper middle class.

"Dang, it's hot in here." I immediately started to fan myself with my hand.

"Yea. Our AC is broken." Sean shrugged. "Repair man is coming tomorrow."

"Got anything to drink?" I was already getting thirsty and I had just arrived. Probably because the house is too warm.

"Yea. Coke cool?" Sean asked and I nodded my head. "Ok. Just sit tight." Sean pointed to the couches. "I'll be right back."

I sat down on one of the comfy white couches and began to think about the next three days. The next three days I had as chill time to get ready for my interviews in Europe. That was one of the reasons why I was going to see Tom very soon. Even though the movie wasn't ready to come out I already had a number of people that wanted to talk to me about it. Well, not only about the film, but me in general. They wanted to get to know the girl that was always with Tom Kaulitz. I of course said yes, because hey, I wanted to see Tom. I also really wanted to go to Europe again.

"Here babe." Sean entered the room and sat down a glass of coke on the coffee table in front of me.

"Thanks." I quickly took a sip. Sean sat down next to me with his own glass. Just as I had sat the glass down, he kissed me.

I threw my head to the side and wiped my mouth. "What the heck?!"

"What do you mean 'what the heck'? We always do this." Sean proceeded to kiss me again, but I pushed him away.

"Sean, I'm not doing this anymore."

"What?" Sean looked confused. "Why not?"

"I don't like you like that." Which was completely the truth.

"But… all the other times…"

"They didn't mean anything to me. You were just basically… my make out buddy…" I trailed off.

"You used me?"

"Don't look so surprised!" I exclaimed. "You knew I liked Tom!"

"You liked Tom?!"

"Shut up. As if it wasn't obvious!"

Sean scooted away from me and then stood up. "Then why would you kiss me?"

"Because! You were just there! I wasn't getting anything from Tom! Besides… you're a good kisser." Wow… I probably sounded like a bitch and one of those stupid guys who sleep around for fun.

"Not cool Sadie." Sean crossed his arms and glared.

I shrugged. "Sorry."

"What about us?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Us?"

"Yes, 'us'! I thought we had something!" Sean shouted.

"We have nothing!" It was my turn to stand up. "We never have, and _never_ will."

"You little bitch…" Sean muttered.

"Yes, I'm a bitch. I know…" I was beginning to get a slight headache and my eyes were starting to hurt.

"Why do you play around with guy's hearts?" Sean's tone saddened.

"It's not like you don't do it to other girls! You're a fricken pimp!" Sean has no right to be mad at me, when he does the exact same thing to other people.

"I actually really liked you Sadie…"

"Stop- stop trying to make me look like the bad guy." I was starting to get dizzy.

"You're not." Sean then smirked. "I am."

"Excuse me?" I grabbed my forehead, thinking that would stop the dizziness. It was getting harder to think clearly.

"Just a few more seconds…" Sean murmured. I suddenly couldn't concentrate on what he was saying. I was just trying to stay standing.

"Good night Sadie." Sean said with an evil chuckle. I instantly collapsed on the floor, nearly missing the coffee table. Sean walked over to me and grabbed my hands. He started to pull me along the floor and towards the stairs. I couldn't yell, scream, kick or anything. It was as if my body was frozen, but my mind was alert to it all. The only thing I could do was let Sean drag me up the stairs.

***

I woke up light headed and shivering. I looked around slowly; the scene made my heart skip a beat. I was laying next to a naked Sean, who was clearly asleep. I looked down at myself and saw that there was blood everywhere. My clothes were ripped and littered all over the room. I just stared at everything, trying to figure out what happened. Was I raped? I thought back to the night before. Nothing. I couldn't remember anything. I looked at Sean, hoping that would jog my memory, but it didn't. Fear started to form in my mind.

I soon became embarrassed, realizing that I was lying on a bed completely naked. All I wanted to do was get away from him. I sat up slowly and my body ached. I had bruises where a bruise shouldn't be, on my thighs and on my wrists and arms. I glanced over at Sean. Still asleep. I got up from the bed and my legs started to tremble from all the pain I was feeling. I was very sore down in the lower region and it hurt to walk. Tears formed in my eyes and I couldn't help but let them fall. I gathered my clothes, slowly putting them and keeping an eye on Sean at the same time. It was hard pulling on my white skinny jeans and trying to avoid the dried blood that splattered my thighs.

I quietly opened the door to his room and left. As soon as I was about a block away from his house, hidden in the trees because it was daytime and I didn't want anyone to see me, I instantly broke down and sobbed. The fear that had started earlier had suddenly grown bigger. I knew what happened, but I just couldn't remember.

My first time was supposed to be full of love and passion and with the man I loved, but I guess I don't get that privilege... I was raped instead.

**Well there ya have it. Drama is just starting. Just wait till she's with Tom.**

**Umm I hope no one is offended or what have you about the subject matter. I spent a great deal of time researching it, and I hope I got it right. I don't like writing scenes that can't happen o r happened the wrong way. I hope everyone is ok with this. If I messed up on it or anything, PLEASE let me know. I hope you know I didn't enjoy writing it or researching it. It made me very sad that people go through this every day. The drug Sean used is Ketamine, AKA 'Special K'. I also spent a long time looking up that drug.**

**Like I said. I don't want to give false information.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

I crept into my house and closed the door quietly, hoping my mom was still asleep. It was about seven in the morning and she didn't wake up till eight usually.

"Where were you?" My mom was sitting in her usual place where she waited for me to come home. The couch.

"With Sean." I said with no expression in my voice.

My mom got up from the couch. "You should have called."

I headed towards the stairs, my arms folded across my stomach and my hood on. "Sorry."

"What did you guys do?" She asked.

"Nothing."

"Sadie. You just got back. I was worried..." She did sound worried.

"I was fine mom." I started up the stairs.

"Sadie please-"

"Mom. I said I was fine." My voice was beginning to raise.

"Are we just not going to talk-"

"Mom!" I stopped and glared at her. "I said I was _fine_. All that matters is that I'm home now."

"Honey…" She frowned.

I ignored her and continued up the stairs to my room. I slammed the door and stripped my dirty clothes off. The sight brought tears to my eyes. My dark hair was a ratty mess, eyeliner smudged all over my face, and red eyes. Light bruises covered me and I knew they would only get darker. I don't know how I walked from Sean's house to here without people noticing. All I can think is, thank God. The last thing I need is to attract attention. The media would be all over me if they saw how I looked.

I stepped into the shower and scrubbed my body until I was red. I wanted to rid myself of Sean. I wanted to forget that he had ever been near me. That wasn't very hard though. As much as I didn't want to remember the experience I really wanted too at the same time. I wanted to be sure that I got raped, although I knew it was very obvious. Why had he done this to me? Yes, I messed with his feelings a bit, but I didn't deserve this… did I? Maybe this whole time I had been asking for it. He may have thought that eventually I was going to put out, but when he found out I wasn't and liked Tom… Wait a second. My drink. My drink was drugged! He put the stuff in it before we even had that conversation. He was going to do it anyway! That bastard!

I changed into a comfortable pair of sweat pants and a baggy t-shirt after my shower. My warm bed welcomed me as I settled into it. I lay there confused. After you get raped aren't you suppose to be scared and vulnerable? I wasn't either. I didn't know how I felt about it. All I knew was that I was furious at Sean and made a mental note to never talk to him ever again. Maybe if I remembered what happened then I would feel very emotional about it. I didn't want to feel it though. I was content not feeling anything. Although I would like to have known what he did to me.

***

The next three days, nothing special had happened. Just re washing clothes and catching up with Carol. I hadn't told her what Sean did, and I didn't plan too. I wanted to make it as though it never happened. Sean had tried to contact me, but I never picked up my phone. I got a few text messages saying 'You were so good babe' 'We should do this again some time.' That brought angry tears to my eyes. He could remember everything, but I couldn't. I wanted him and everything to go away.

I stepped off the plane in Germany with Carol. Today was the day we were finally going to be able to see our Twins again. I can't tell you how excited I was to see Tom. On the plane I couldn't stop bouncing my legs around. I even kneed a guy in the back of his seat on accident. The guy glared but Carol and I laughed it off.

"Where are they?" I asked, looking around the airport for the twins. I made sure to wear a long sleeve shirt so no questions were asked.

"There!" Carol pointed at two very tall guys surrounded by four bodyguards.

"Yay!" I grabbed Carol's hand and ran to the twins, making sure to weave in and out of people so we didn't hit them. The bodyguards moved out of the way just as Carol and I threw ourselves on the twins.

"Tom!" I screeched and hugged him. Tom pulled me into a big bear hug and that's when I had a flashback.

_Sean hugged himself to me and I yelled out in pain, but he didn't stop. In fact, he just laughed._

I jerked back from Tom and grabbed my head as if I was in pain.

"Are you ok?" Tom asked. I slightly nodded my head and let out fake smile.

"Sorry. Just a random pain. Sometimes it just shows up out of nowhere." My pocket vibrated and I looked to see it was Sean calling. I decided to take it because he was calling long distance, and he must have something important to say.

I pushed the _talk_ button and brought the phone to my ear.

"Hey there Sadie. By now you're probably in Germany and I just want you to know something. Say anything to anyone and especially Tom… you'll regret it." And that's when he hung up. I clutched the phone and stared at the floor. _I'm going to regret it... oh crap._

"Sadie?" Tom touched my arm and I jumped.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yea." Another fake smile. "Never better."

"Ok…"

"I'm so glad to see you again!" I reached up and hugged him again. This time, no flash back. I would have loved to kiss him, but we were in public and there were lots of Tokio fans all over the airport with cameras in hand. That didn't stop Carol and Bill though. They shared a sweet, short kiss and received a bunch of flashes from the cameras. Bill then grabbed Carol's hand and they walked with two of the guards to baggage claim. I glanced at Tom and he shrugged.

***

I spent the entire day with Carol and the twins. They had the day off so we decided to go sight seeing and just hang out. It was really fun day. The highlight was when Bill and Carol were skipping down the street. Bill looked at Carol and instead of watching where he was going, skipped right into a crowd of elderly people. He almost knocked down an old lady too if the tour guide hadn't been there to catch her. The old lady then grabbed her purse and started hitting Bill with it. I guess old ladies do not like the Kaulitz twins. Bill offered his autograph, which earned him more beatings from the purse.

"Are you good at riddles?" Tom asked. We had just finished eating and were heading back to the car.

"Yea. Kind of."

"Wanna hear one?"

"Sure." I smiled, happy to have him at my side again.

"Ok. Peat and Repeat where on a boat. Peat fell off. Who was left?"

"Repeat?" _I don't think anyone else was on the boat…_

"Peat and Repeat where on a boat. Peat fell off. Who was left?"

"Repeat."

"Peat and Repeat where on a boat. Peat fell off. Who was left?"

"Repeat! Wait!" I suddenly had gotten the riddle and shoved Tom. "You're a dork." Tom flashed a smile and ran up to the others, leaving me to catch up to him.

Ah yes… I missed hanging out with these guys. They were so entertaining and fun to be with.

Tom and I were standing in front of his hotel room, as were Bill and Carol in front of their own.

"Have fun, but not too much fun." Tom sent a wink at the two. "I don't need to be kept up all night. I need my beauty sleep."

"Is that why you look so hideous in the morning?" Bill smirked.

Tom opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came.

"Oh ok. Right. You two need to be quiet too, or else I won't be able to concentrate on Carol." Bill laughed and Carols face turned a deep red.

"Hurry up!" I urged Tom. I didn't want to hear whatever else Bill was going to say.

"That's what she said." Bill shot out.

"Tom!"

"I'm going as fast as I can. Stupid key card isn't working!" I shoved Tom out of the way and got the door opened in mere seconds. Bill continued to shout out perverted things in his hotel room and then it suddenly got quiet.

"I think Carol finally got him to shut up." I laughed.

Tom took off his hat and shook out his dreads. "What a naughty friend you have there."

"You cut em." I noticed and touched his hair that was still pretty long.

"Yea, but not too much. I like them past my shoulders."

"I think it looks good." My eyes wandered from his dreads to his brown-eyed pair. Tom waited a few more seconds before leaning in and touching his lips to mine. I dropped whatever random items were in my hands and wrapped my arms around his neck. Tom put his arms around my waist and somehow we ended up on his bed. He leaned over me as his hands roamed my stomach. Our legs got tangled together as Tom kissed me deeper. I started to feel pain from the bruises, but tried to ignore it.

_Sean roughly kissed me and pushed me against the headboard of the bed. His hands explored every part of me and I couldn't do anything but let it happen. I needed to breathe but Sean wouldn't let me. It was like he was shoving his tongue down my throat and I couldn't stop it. Silent tears were rolling down my face…_

I pushed Tom and hid my face in the comforter.

"What… did I do something?" Tom asked in confusion. _Say anything to anyone and especially Tom… you'll regret it_.

"No…" I shook. It was all coming back. In little flash backs yea, but that was more then enough. I looked at him sadly and gently touched his hand. "I'm just not really feeling this right now Tom."

Tom nodded. "Did something happen that I should know about?"

"No." I said rather quickly and Tom frowned.

"Sadie what happened?" It was more of a command then a question.

"Nothing." I hid my face in the comforter again.

Tom raised an eyebrow. "First, you freak when I hug you at the airport, now you hide your face when I kiss you? Are you sure nothing's wrong?" I shook my head and Tom sighed.

"Tell me you'll let me know soon?"

I shrugged and looked at him. "Sorry."

"Sadie come on. You can tell me anything. I'm not going to freak or anything." Tom urged.

I rolled my eyes and gave short, forced laugh. "Yes you will.

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**You guys who message and rate are AWESOME. Thanks for reading my story! It means a lot to me :-) **


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

Tom didn't try and kiss me again and I was glad of it. He could tell that I was bothered by it. I was afraid that if he did, another flash back would come back, and I didn't want that. I didn't need to kiss Tom anyway. Just being near him made my day. Knowing that everyday I wake up for the next few weeks, I was going to see him excited me. Seven months without the person you cared about most was hard, and I was going to cherish everyone moment I had with him.

Because Carol was sharing a room with Bill, and I didn't feel like being by myself, Tom offered to share a room with me. I, of course, was completely fine with that. It meant more time with him. More time laughing with him, more time laughing AT him, and more time of just the two of us. No people, no distractions, just us. Exactly the way I liked it. Of course I loved spending time with the others, but Tomi time was the best.

Jost had made reservations at a very expensive restaurant for the six of us (including Georg and Gustav), celebrating that we were all back together again. The restaurant he picked out had amazing food. I had Wiener Schnitzel. No, not the hot dog. Wiener Schnitzel is a thin slice of veal, coated in breadcrumbs and friend. Amazing. Simply amazing.

Bill had decided to tell a story about what happened in the studio a few months ago. He told it with excitement and elaborate hand gestures, which resulted in him knocking over a full cup of red wine all over the white table clothe.

"Scheisse…" Bill cussed in his native tongue when he was in Europe, but back in the states he cussed in English. I laughed and leaned back in chair, watching Bill scramble to find a napkin. The wine waterfalled off the table and onto the expensive looking tan carpet, leaving big random red marks all over. I continued to laugh while Bill tried sopping up the rest of the wine before it hit the carpet.

"Are you going to at least _try_ and help me?" Bill asked flustered.

"Nope." I grinned and noticed that Tom wanted to help his twin, but couldn't stop laughing himself.

I looked at the red splattered carpet and sighed. "I don't think the manager is going to be too happy. Red wine isn't the easiest thing to get out. "

The manager was indeed not happy. He was a young, skinny man with a pointy nose and beady eyes. Instead of acting cool and collected about it, he made a scene and scared some of the people dining in the restaurant. He shouted that it was _very_ expensive carpet imported from Morocco and would be very pricey to replace it. Bill had the money, of course, and offered to pay for it while saying sorry after every sentence. I had honestly expected the manager to be overly nice since he was talking to Bill Kaulitz, but apparently the chancellor of Germany could have done the same thing and he still would've yelled.

"It was an honest mistake." I mumbled, tired of all the yelling. Seriously, this guy was giving me a headache. I mumbled because I didn't mean for him to hear me, but I guess he did.

"Would _you_ like to _pay_ for all the damage caused miss?!" The manager sneered. I almost laughed at how funny his thick German accent sounded.

"Well sir," I sighed calmly. "Obviously accidents happen. I guess you should have thought of that _before_ you put the carpet in." I hoped I didn't sound like I was being trying to be smart with him.

"Don't be smart with me!" The manager scowled. I guess I did.

"Sir, it's just a carpet. It's easily replaced and-"

"I already told you! It's _very _expensive!"

"And like I said earlier, you shouldn't have put expensive carpet in a restaurant! Why the hell would you do that when obviously people are going to spill things?!"

"Sadie-" Bill started, but I waved him off.

"Bill said he would pay for it ok? Just accept it and move on." I glared at the manager whose face was turning red.

"You celebrities think nothing of peoples property! You think that it's perfectly alright to mess things up because you can just pay for the damages!"

I pushed my chair out and stood up. "No! That's not it at all!" I hated when people said that about us. "We don't _mean_ to cause damages. They just happen and we are able to pay for it!"

"Sadie stop!" Bill shouted. "This has nothing to do with you." The others sat in the chairs, watching the fight intently. I, again, ignored Bill and waited for the manager to respond.

"I bet you guys don't even end up paying. If it's a guy, you probably just sleep with him and that's payment enough!" He yelled in my face. My heart stopped. Why would he say something like that?

"Jetzt reichts!" Tom exclaimed, violently pushing his chair back and taking his place right next to me. 'That's enough" is something along the lines of what Tom said for those of you who don't speak German. "We said we would pay for it! That should end this whole issue! There is no need for you to go and insult her!"

"Fine then." The manager huffed. "I want payment _now_."

"I will call my manager." Tom found Josts' number in his cell phone and called him. They quickly conversed in German while I shrank back behind Tom. I didn't want anyone to think I was a slut. _No way_ would I sleep with someone instead of paying them like I should. I had never done something like that, but it still hurt when he shouted it at me. Usually, I wouldn't care, but the whole thing back at home with Sean made me think differently this time. Sean did in fact make me feel a slut. Those stupid text messages he sent made me feel disgusting.

"My manager is going to get in touch with you later on this evening to discuss the damages and payment." Tom said as soon as Jost had hung up.

"Good!" The manager said sharply and whirled around, heading back to the kitchen, probably to yell at some of the cooks.

Tom slapped a few hundred euros on the table and gently grabbed my hand. "Let's go."

Everybody followed Tom and I out of the restaurant. We were met with tons of paparazzi outside. The people inside must have had made calls inside to alert the media what was going on. Tom immediately dropped my hand right before the first flash went off. Neither of us wanted to deal with rumors, as well as this whole fiasco tomorrow.

We each had our heads down as we made our way to Tom's escalade. Tom climbed into the drivers seat and I sat next to him in the passengers seat. The other four sat in the back, Bill and Carol in the middle and Gustav and Georg in the rear. I had noticed that Bill hardly ever let go of Carol's hand tonight. Every once in a while they would flash shy smiles to each other. I envied what they had. I wanted that with Tom. I was sure I could get that, but that would mean that Tom is off the market, and a lot of his groupies hearts would be broken.

"Why did you have to go and start that Sadie?" Bill said as soon as we pulled out of the parking lot.

"What?" I turned to look at him. "I didn't mean to! I didn't think the guy heard me and he did."

"I'm grateful that you want to defend us," Bill paused. "But it wasn't needed."

"A simple thank you would have sufficed." I turned back around and glared out the window.

***

"He's right you know." Tom shut the door to our hotel room. "Bill I mean."

"Don't take his side!" I exclaimed throwing off my sweatshirt.

"I'm not! I'm just saying it wasn't needed."

"People say that about us all the time, and I'm _sick _of hearing it Tom!"

"Well get use to it! Nobody said being a celebrity was easy." Tom walked to his suitcase and pulled out long, baggy gym shorts. "We don't really have a choice. We just have to deal with this crap."

"I don't want to get use to it." I pouted and crossed my arms.

"Sucks." Tom shrugged and swung a towel over his shoulder. "I'm taking a shower. You can watch TV or something."

"I know Tom…" I rolled my eyes and Tom chuckled.

***

_Sean laid me down on the bed after he was finish choking me to death with his tongue. _

"_You're not at the right angle." Sean frowned and moved me some. "That's better." He lazily grinned and ran his hands down my stomach to the top of my jeans and unbuttoned them. In one swift motion they were off. I pleaded with my eyes for him to stay away, but Sean shook his head._

"_Aww come on babe." He rubbed his hands delicately on my inner thighs. "This could be fun." He pulled off my underwear and smiled. I could feel his disgusting hands touch me in places I didn't want them near. _

_What happened next came all too fast. He lowered his head down to my face and whispered, "I know you've wanted this just as much as I have. Lets make our dreams reality." _

_The pain that followed his statement was excruciating. _

I woke up with a gasp and tears running down my face. Tom was lying next to me, and wrapped his arms around me as I shook, obviously awake now.

"Shh… it's ok." He cooed and rocked me back and forth. I shook my head violently, causing tears to fly everywhere, and tried to pull out of Tom's grasp.

"Leave me alone!" I cried, not wanting to be touched.

"No, I'm here." He pulled me closer to his shirtless torso. I continued to push him away, but Tom never let go.

"Sadie. It's ok." He continued to rock me and I eventually quit trying to get away from him. "Wanna talk about it?" He asked after a few moment of silence. I shook my head and let the tears flow again. Tom seemed to accept this and didn't ask anymore. I relaxed and took deep breaths. I tried to concentrate on good things, but it wasn't really working. Ever put a tampon in while your dry and then rip it out? That's what the pain felt like, only a hundred times worse.

After twenty minutes of fighting going back to sleep, slumber won. Tom kissed the top of my head lovingly and stared at my sleeping form.

"What happened to you Sadie?" He whispered and fell asleep, praying it wasn't what he thought it was.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

I didn't sleep very well. Throughout the night I dreamed of Sean. I could feel him all over my skin. The way he touched me was definitely not the loving way Tom touched me. I could hear his laughs as he continued to hurt me. I could see the giant, crazy grin that spread across his face as he enjoyed every minute of it. I couldn't stop dreaming of it. I would wake up suddenly and every time Tom was there to comfort and calm me down. He would ask what was wrong, but I still refused to tell him. He would then wrap his arms around me once again and pull me close, whispering quiet, soothing words. I fell asleep to his voice every time, praying that I wouldn't have any more nightmares, but I did.

Finally, after waking up several times, I was able to fall to sleep. I dreamed of Tom holding me and never leaving me. In reality I knew that was true, and hoped that it would last forever.

***

"Sadie… Sadie… You need to wake up." Tom's warm breath lightly tickled my face.

My eyes fluttered open, but then closed again. "I don't want to."

"You need too. We have things to do today." Tom gently stroked my hair.

"Ugh… five more minutes?" I snuggled in closer to him.

"That's fine. I'll get in the shower first." Tom slid out of bed, as I moved more into the spot he was laying in. He leaned over and I could feel his warm, moist lips touch my forehead. I flinched at first, but then broke into a small smile.

Tom gave me ten minutes instead of five to sleep. He stepped out of the bathroom slightly wet, with a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Sadie, your turn."

I opened my eyes slowly and they suddenly grew wide. Tom was gorgeous. He was muscular, but not too muscular with firm pecks and a perfectly sculpted six-pack. My eyes fell upon his V, and I couldn't help but wonder what he looked like past the towel. My mouth hung open as I continued to take in every bit of his bare skin.

I had never looked at him this way before. I always saw him as a brother. If we went to the beach and he took off shirt, I never really paid attention. I don't know why though.

I suddenly had this incredible urge to kiss him, but my laziness stopped me.

"Yes, I know I'm hot," Tom smirked. "But you need to get up. We have to leave in a half hour."

I rolled my eyes and got out of bed, and made my way to the bathroom. Right before I closed the door I leaned out and said, "Eh… you're alright."

"Sadie, no need to be in denial." Tom rubbed his six-pack seductively. "You know you want some of this."

Truthfully I did, but there was no time for me to have 'some of it.' I had a bunch of interviews to do. Not for my film, but just for me. I guess the people of Germany missed me.

"Yea ok, Tom. Sure." I laughed and closed the door.

I took a cold shower to help control my hormones. What I really wanted to do was fling open the door, jump on Tom and have my way with him. It all faded quickly when the image of Sean appeared in my mind. I shuddered and tried to concentrate on Tom, but Sean's face wouldn't leave my mind.

I walked out of the bathroom after my shower, in my clothes for the day; a disturbed expression painted across my face.

Tom glanced at me and quickly dropped what he was doing. "Sadie, what's wrong?"

I shook my head and mumbled, "I don't want to talk about it."

"You gotta talk about it sometime. You can't keep it bottled up forever." Tom took my hand, but I pulled it away shyly.

"Yes, I can. Besides, I don't think I'll ever tell anyone."

"Why? Why don't you want to tell anyone?" Tom looked me in the eyes. "Why can't you tell me? You're best friend…"

I groaned and looked away. "I just don't ever want to talk about it. It's not important."

"Obviously it is important, or you wouldn't be having nightmares about it."

"Just leave it alone Tom." I turned around and went to my suitcase to grab my hairbrush.

"What did Sean do?"

I froze instantly when I heard Sean's name. "Excuse me?"

"You said his name in your sleep. You sounded frightened." Tom came up behind me and took my hand again. I didn't bother to pull away.

I turned and looked Tom in the eye. "Sean has _nothing_ to do with this."

"Sadie, please-"

"Tom, just drop it!" I ripped my hand out of his and headed to the front door.

"Where are you going?" Tom asked sadly.

"To get ready in Bill and Carols room. Maybe there they wont' pester me about stupid things." I grabbed the door handle, ready to walk out.

"It's not stupid!" Tom glared. "You kept me up half the night, trying to comfort you and when I ask for a simple explanation, you won't even give me one!"

"I told you I don't want to talk about it!" The door handle was now turned.

"Why?" He sounded desperate. "I only want to help you Sadie…"

_I was stupid and foolish to go over to Sean's house at night, knowing that he had feelings for me I don't want you to know Tom, because I don't want you to be angry with me. I don't want you to be ashamed of me. I don't want to be scolded; I don't want to hear you telling me how stupid I am. I don't want you to make a big deal out of this. I don't want you to rip Sean apart… I'm afraid of telling you, because of what Sean said. I'm afraid that if you know, the whole world will know and forever I will continue to be told how stupid I am._ _I'm afraid that it will ruin what we have, because I never told you in the first place… _ I wanted to tell him that, but the words wouldn't come out of my mouth. I shrugged and added softly, "Not this time…" As I opened the door I was met with a surprised young man.

"Hi, you're Sadie Hawkins right?" He grinned and I nodded. The man looked to me about 24. "Hi, I'm from the front desk. Some mail arrived for you." He held out a white envelope with my name written across the front of it.

"Oh…" I took the envelope and looked for a return address. It was from Sean. "Thank you." The man didn't leave. He just stood there, still with that huge grin across his face.

"Would you like an autograph?" I don't know why else he would still be standing at my door.

"Yes please!" He bubbled with enthusiasm.

"Ok." I grabbed a sharpie that I always kept in my purse, for times like these. "What would you like for me to sign?"

"Here!" He lifted his shirt and pointed to his stomach. It's not like he was fat or anything, but eh… I didn't really want to sign there.

"Um… sure." I grimaced as I squatted down and lightly touched the pen to his stomach. It was a very awkward position I was in. The man's stomach moved as he laughed, which made it difficult for me to sign, but I managed. "There ya go." I quickly dotted the I and stood up.

He grabbed my hand and started shaking it. "Thank you Sadie!"

"Your welcome." I pulled my hand away and quickly shut the door, turning to see a smirking Tom. "Shut up." I opened the mysterious envelope and out fell $250. "What the…" I picked up the money from the floor and found a note attached to it.

"Whose it from?" Tom asked. I shrugged and read the note.

_Sadie. I thought I should send you this to money to be fair. We had a great time, but it seemed like you didn't enjoy it. Hopefully this makes up for it. Love Sean. P.S. Today your whole life is going to change, if it hasn't already when you got this letter. _

I crumpled up the note angrily and ripped the money to shreds.

"Sadie!" Tom exclaimed and tried to catch the shredded money. "What are you doing?!"

"I hate him!" I shrieked and kicked the wall closest to me. Tom grabbed the envelope from my hands and read the return address label.

"What did he say?" Tom asked referring to the note.

"Nothing."

Tom suddenly exploded and threw the envelope out of his hands. "Are you ever going to tell me anything Sadie?! Are you just going to keep me in the dark? Sadie I want to help and you're not letting me! I care about you and I only want you to be happy. If this stupid Sean guy is keeping you from that, I want to know why! I want to know why I feel like I should rip the guy apart! I don't even know why I feel like that!" Tom sighed. "I just know something bad happened to you, and I want to fix that. I want you to be okay again"

The floor had suddenly became interesting to me. "I want to be able to hug you, to kiss you… but I can't. Something is stopping you and I know it has to do with Sean." Tom took a step towards me, but that step was very close to me. "What did Sean do to you? Sadie, come on… you know you can tell me." I shook my head. "What, did he say not to tell or else?" I nodded. "Are you afraid to tell me?" I nodded again. "Will you tell me if I guess right?" I shrugged.

'Sean raped me!' was on the tip of my tongue, but it wouldn't jump out. _Today your whole life is going to change, if it hasn't already when you got this letter… _ that kept echoing in my head. My whole life was going to change? Why shouldn't I tell Tom then? I want to, so I should, but I couldn't. Sean was holding me back tightly and I feared what he could do.

"Ok… did Sean…" I raced out the door before Tom could finish. I didn't want to hear what he had to say. What if he was right? I would have to admit to it, and I swore to myself I wouldn't tell. I planned on keeping it that way for as long as possible.

I took the stairs instead of the elevator. I ran down all twelve flights and into the dining room, passing hotel guests. I sat down in a chair next to Georg and tried to catch my breath.

Georg raised an eyebrow, "Are you ok Sadie?"

I flashed a smile and nodded. "I'm great!" Even though I wasn't. I was scared and worried about what the day was going to bring. Nothing could get me ready for the day that was going to change my life later on.

Tom burst into the room and over to my chair. "Sadie! What the heck? I was talking to you!" I ignored Tom and stared at the plate in front of me. "You know what?" Tom gave a frustrated sigh. "I don't care anymore."

**---------------------------**

**Sorry for the wait guys! Hmm… probably LATE Tuesday night when the next chapter is up. Look for it :) **


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

I climbed into the car; Tom made sure to sit behind me. He hadn't said a word to me for the rest of the morning. Every once in a while I would look up to see him staring, but not a word left his mouth.

I hated keeping him the dark about it. I wanted to tell him, badly. I thought that if someone else knew, I would be able to handle the situation a bit better. I was just making it worse on myself since I wouldn't tell him. Would Tom understand though? I mean, I know he would care and all, but would he leave Sean alone? Honestly, I wanted Sean to be run over by a bus, but I didn't want Tom to be the one to do it. I'd rather a tragic accident suddenly appear and kill him. Well… maybe not even kill… that's a terrible thing and I wouldn't want anyone to wish that on me. Why should I wish that on Sean? Yes he took away something precious to me, and something I could never get back, but wishing death on him? I don't know…

_Today your whole life is going to change, if it hasn't already when you got this letter… _I had no idea what Sean was talking about, but something was telling me that I wasn't going to like it.

"Sadie." Gustav nodded to the open door of the car. "We're here."

I looked out and saw the studio for the _JB Kerner Show_. I got out of the car and walked with Gustav to the studio entrance. Bill and Tom were a few stops behind me conversing in German. I glanced at Tom just as his eyes met mine. He rolled his eyes and continued to talk to Bill. I frowned sadly walked into the building, the others following.

Carol decided to stay at the hotel to catch up on sleep. All that time spent "exercising" with Bill made the girl tired I guess.

Today I had an interview with Tokio Hotel. It was very rare if that happened. In America, we never got interviewed together except if it was a red carpet thing. Usually I would sit in the audience or stand in the back and watch the boys be interviewed, or visa versa. Europe was one of the few places that decided to interview us together. It was always entertaining and we had a fun time joking with each other in front of the cameras. Today might be different though. If Tom continued to be angry, annoyed, upset or whatever he was, I don't know how much joking was going to go on.

I got into one of the chairs in the backstage dressing room and the makeup and hair personal went to work. I grew bored quickly after 5 minutes of having my hair tugged on. The others were in another room assigned just for the boys. I would have rather got ready with them, but whatever.

After twenty minutes of being worked on I was free to wander around and talk to people. I found the boys sitting in the green room, laughing and talking about a girl they saw the other day. I sat down next to Georg hoping they would notice me and include me in the conversation, but they didn't. So I let a loud sigh and got their attention.

"Something you would like to say?" Instead of the big, scary lion mane, Bill had his hair more tamed today.

"I'm bored." I stated with yawn.

"Well I suggest you do something about that." Bill turned back to the others.

"I am. I'm talking to you guys." I was feeling rather antsy wanting to know what how my life was going to change.

One of the guys from the crew peeked their head inside the room and smiled. "Three minutes guys."

"Thank you." Bill replied and looked at me again. "See. Three minutes. Then you go about talking about yourself."

"Fine." I slumped in my chair and folded my arms.

Tom watched me out of the corner of his eyes and sighed before getting up. "Sadie?" I snapped my attention to him. "We need to talk.

"Now?"

"It's about a certain note." Tom held out the crumpled note from Sean. My eyes slightly widened as I got up from my chair and headed out the door with Tom. Where had he gotten the note? The guys sent each other confused looks. They didn't know what was going on.

"So you're going to stop being childish and talk to me?" I asked when we were a good twenty feet away from the room.

Tom snorted. "You're one to talk." I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. Tom unfolded the once crumpled note and stared at it. "Want to tell me what this is about?"

"It's noth-"

"Cut the crap Sadie." Tom said firmly and thrust the note to my chest. "What's going on here?"

"Ya know, I don't know what makes you think any of this is your business. This isn't about you. It's about _me." _

"Tom, it's almost time." Bill said passing the two of us and walking with Gustav and Georg near the sound stage.

"I'm making it my business."

"Why?!" I exclaimed suddenly.

"Because! When it affects us and what we do, I want to know about it. I don't want to deal with you being scared of me and not being able to sleep at night. I want you to feel safe around me, and whatever has happened between you and Sean is severely jeopardizing that." Tom watched as I ripped the note apart. A few feet away I could hear JB talking and the crowd clapping. I continued to rip it until it was nothing but tiny bits of paper, not uttering a word.

"I'm going to ask this once, and I want a yes or no answer out of you."

"Joining us today is the popular teeny band Tokio Hotel and rising star Sadie Hawkins…" JB Kerner went on.

Tom looked me straight in the eyes with a tight, serious face. "Did Sean rape you?" I tore my eyes from Tom's, but then slowly they rose back to Toms.

"And here they are…"

I gave a quick nod, tired of keeping it from Tom, and relieved to finally get it out. Tom's stern face dropped and shock ran through his eyes.

"Tokio Hotel and Sadie Hawkins!"

The crew pushed Tom and I out on the stage and we quickly changed from our serious dispositions to happy, excited ones. This is one of the times that my acting skills come in handy. I sat down on the couch near JB with a big smile painted on my face. The audience clapped and screamed, "I love you!" to the boys.

"Welcome, welcome!" JB greeted us as the boys took their seats next to me. I sat between Bill and Tom. Tom on my left and Bill on my right The G's sat on the other side of Tom.

"How are you guy's today?" JB asked animatedly.

We gave a chorus of "Good. Feeling great", while all Tom could do was give a small smile.

"Sadie."

"Yes?" I smiled and turned my body toward JB.

"I heard you just finished a movie."

"Yes. I finished filming about five days ago."

"It says here," JB looked a small paper card. "That you were in New Zealand for seven months. Wow! Did you ever see the others?"

"Umm no actually." I adjusted my shirt. "I went seven months without them. Believe me, it was the longest seven months of my life."

"I believe it."

"Yea, but I made a good friend on set. His name is Ian Fillmore." A picture of Ian was on the screen behind JB. " He is one of the coolest people I know now, besides Tokio Hotel of course." The audience laughed. " Yea, when I was missing the boys, he was there to cheer me up and tell me that soon I'll be going back home."

"It sounds as if filming wasn't all that fun." JB raised an eyebrow.

"No, it was fun. I just missed being with my best friends. Filming… was amazing. Ya know, I had never actually had to commit so much to a part before. Normally I have to act kooky and stuff on my show, so this was a bit different. I enjoyed it more in some ways. Of course I will always love my TV show."

"As you should. I'm sure it would be obvious if you hated your job." JB smiled and I nodded. "And now, Sadie has graciously brought a snippet from behind the scenes of filming of her movie." I remembered Dawn calling me and telling me something about that. I was not ready to see what the screen had in store for the audience.

JB turned to his TV screen waiting for the screen to start showing images. The screen was black and then started going into focus. There was a bedroom and two people in it.

"I know you've wanted this just as much as I have. Let's make our dreams reality." I heard a familiar voice say from the TV. The image cleared even more and you could see a naked boy leaning over naked girl. Her face was covered in terror. She then started to scream in agonizing pain and it was right then I realized what I was watching. I gasped and my heart jumped to my throat. I was watching Sean rape me.

Everyone in the whole studio was completely silent; all staring at the horrible sight on the screen. I watched in horror as Sean thrusted into me. My eyes filled up with tears and I started to shake. You could hear Sean's manic laughter and then, "This is so the whole world knows that I, Sean Collins, was the guy to take away Sadie Hawkins virginity."

My breathing sped up rapidly and tears rolled down my face. I pulled my eyes away from the screen and stared at the floor. Some people in the audience actually had the nerve to laugh, and others were so shocked they were speechless. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Tom's hand balling up into tight, red fists.

The audience members that were laughing started to yell. "Fucking slut! She deserves it anyway! That's what she gets!" I had no idea why they would say such things, but I couldn't take being in the room anymore. I stood up, almost losing my balance, and ran out of the room. My tears had made my eyes blurry, so I was trying not to run into anything.

"Turn it off! Turn the damn thing off!" I heard Bill yell. "Get that fucking thing off the screen!"

I passed all of the crew and ran outside. As soon as the door slammed shut behind me, I was bombarded with flashes in my face. Who called the paparazzi? Did they know something was going to happen today? I tried to get away from them, but I couldn't. They circled around me and got as close as possible to me. I tried to hide my make up smudged face with my hands, but one of the paparazzi kept pulling my hands down.

"Sadie! What was it like losing your virginity? Was it amazing? Who was that guy? How many times have you been with him?"

No matter where I turned, I couldn't go anywhere. They were totally in my space and I freaked out. I screamed and cried, but they wouldn't leave me alone. I just wanted to be home, safe in my room.

"Move! Get out of the way!" Tom pushed through the photographers and pulled myself to his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around me. I suddenly felt safer, but wanted to get away from the crowd. "Get away from her! Don't fucking touch her or I!" Tom spat at the paparazzi. He started to walk to the car, but it was hard to get there because of all the paparazzi. "Back the fuck off! Move!"

I buried my face in Tom's shirt, grateful that he was there. I hid my face from the paparazzi, embarrassed of the way I looked. I did not want the world to see me like this or the way I was just displayed on screen.

Tom managed to get to the car and pull the door open. As soon as we were inside, Tom slammed the door shut and locked it.

"Oh Tom!" I cried and hugged him, soaking his shirt with my tears.

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**Woo!! The big 3 0!! New update hopefully Friday. Thanks for the review guys! You guys rock and are the most amazing readers!**


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

Tom held onto me the entire way to the hotel. He never let go. He never let go when we stepped out into the sea of paparazzi, that actually ripped his shirt trying to stop him from going inside, and he never let go when we were safe inside his room. We had his security, Tobi and Co, escort us through the crazy photographers, but like I said before, one of them managed to rip Tom's shirt.

Tom laid me down on his bed with him and I continued to cry. My emotions were so mixed up. I felt anger and hatred towards Sean for putting me through that, but I also felt shame and embarrassment that not only the world saw it, but Tom did too. I didn't want him to see me like that. I didn't want _anyone_ to see me like that.

The crowd outside was amazing. I had never seen so many fans and paparazzi surrounding a hotel. Every once in a while I would hear "We still love you Sadie!" from a group of fans below. They were so loud that I could hear it, even though I was on the fifteenth floor. It made me smile, but just for a few seconds, and then it would fade again.

Tom held me close to him and continued to rock me. I wanted to stop crying, stop acting like a baby and just get over it, but I couldn't. I had never been so violated before in my life.

I heard Tom sigh as he finally asked the question that had been eating at him since I told him. "Why didn't you tell me?" He whispered with sadness in his voice.

My eyes focused on his chest as I refused to look him in the eye. "I… I just…" I then launched into the speech I had in my head just this morning. "I didn't want you to be disappointed in me." Tom's silence told me that he wanted me to continue. "I didn't want you to think I was an idiot for even going over there when his parents weren't home, and knowing that he still had a huge crush on me. I just wanted to hang out with him, like old times, before he started to piss me off. He was one of my good friends…" I started to choke up. " We hung out all the time. I knew he always liked me but… I… I didn't think he would actually hurt me."

Tom kissed the top of my head. "There is no way in hell that I could think you're an idiot. You just wanted to hang out. And you should've been able to do just that." Tom lifted my chin with his index finger and looked me straight in the eye. "Sadie, I'm sorry I said I didn't care. I do care and you know that. I was just so frustrated about everything. I hate not knowing what's going on with you. Sadie, I want us to be straight with each other. When something is bothering one of us, we tell the other." I nodded and dropped my face back to his chest. "I'm sorry that happened to you." Tom stroked my hair. "You are the last person on earth who deserved this. Sean should've kept his filthy hands to him self. God I just wanna…" Tom's hand balled into fists again.

"He drugged me." I whispered.

"What?" Tom's eyes widened, not sure if he heard correctly.

"He drugged me." I repeated. "I don't know with what though. All I know is I suddenly didn't have any control of my limbs. I couldn't move. I could only comprehend the situation.

Tom sat up suddenly and had fire in his eyes. "Are you serious?"

"Yea…" I hit the bed with my fist. "I'm so stupid! I shouldn't have taken that stupid drink!"

"Sadie… it's not your fault. The little fuck is going to get it when you press charges." Tom spat. I moved uncomfortable and Tom gave me a strange look. "You are pressing charges right?"

"Well… I wasn't really planning to."

"What?! Sadie what's wrong with you!" Tom blew up and got up from the bed. "The guy drugged and raped you and you're not going to press charges?!"

"No…" I whispered.

"Why?" Tom whined.

"I don't want to have to deal with the court and all that."

"Sadie…" Tom crawled back on the bed next to me. "You can't let him get away this."

I shrugged and rolled over, my back to Tom. "Oh well."

"No!" Tom gripped my arm and rolled me back over and I freaked. The way he had sounded and moved reminded me of Sean. "You are _going_ to report it." My eyes glazed over and I hid my face in the comforter. Tom had realized what he done and touched me gently. "Oh Sadie, I'm sorry. I- I didn't mean to." I shook my head, hoping he would get the hint to stop touching me. "Sadie-"

"Don't touch me Tom!" I shouted and Tom immediately reeled back. He frowned sadly and got off the bed. "I'll just… leave you alone for now." He exited the room and my guess was that he went to Bills. I curled up into a ball on the large bed and let out a small whimper. "I hate Sean. I hate Sean. I hate Sean. I hate Sean…" My cell phone started to vibrate in my pocket, so I pulled it out to see who was texting me.

_I see that you got my little surprise. Wonderful isn't it? I'm only sorry I wasn't there to see it in person. Ya know Sadie, you're the reason this happened. This could have all been prevented if you just went out with me that time I asked you when we were 14. Sorry to see that it had to go this way._

Tears of frustration built up in my eyes and I had to use an enormous amount of self-containment, or else my phone would have been thrown off the balcony and smashed into little tiny pieces.

The door to my room is suddenly burst open and in ran Carol.

"Sadie!" She jumped on the bed and hugged me. "Oh my God! I saw what happened! I'm so sorry! You should've told me!" I shrugged and showed her the phone. Her expression went from confused to mad as soon as she read the text. "That dick head!"

I nodded and took my phone back, tucking it back into my jeans, so I suddenly didn't have any rash actions. "I know right?"

"Tom said your not pressing charges. That's not true right?" Carol asked.

I sighed and sat up, my back to her. "I don't even know what I want to do. Yes, I want his ass in cuffs, but then I'd have to go to court about it. I don't want to go to court."

"Sadie-" Carol was interrupted by Tom and Bill also bursting through the door.

"Didn't you say the guy was like 19?" Tom asked and I nodded. "That's statutory rape!"

I didn't really want to see Tom so soon, but nothing I can do about it. "Tom I-"

"They can arrest him and throw his ass in Jail!"

"What if I don't want him in jail…" I said quietly.

"This guy raped you, and you don't want him behind bars?" Bill raised an eyebrow.

"I don't want someone to go to jail because of me." They probably thought I was crazy. To be honest, I don't know why I didn't want him jail.

"It's not your fault Sadie! He made the choice and now he is going to deal with the consequences." Tom said.

"Look, I'll think about it ok?" I hoped that would be enough for them. The three stared at each other and then with a quick nod of their head, left the room.

Tom hung back. "If you need anything… you know where to find me." I didn't say anything, I just turned away. Tom gave a loud sigh and closed the door, heading over to Bills room.

I walked out to the balcony and looked over the railing. The fans shrieked when they saw me and called out my name. I gave a few small waves and surveyed the scene. The fans were blocking the entire entranceway into the hotel. Paparazzi and news teams were scattered either taking pictures, or reporting on the newest events. It then hit me to turn on the TV and see what they were saying. I settled on the ground with the bed behind me to support my back.

"In newest events, the police are still out looking for Sean Kennedy. They want to bring him in for questioning, but Sean is nowhere to be found. We have no news about Sadie Hawkins except for the fact that she is extremely embarrassed that this has come out. Police are investigating this and think its case of Statutory rape. No one knows exactly how old Sean is, but inside sources say he is over the age of nineteen. Young Sadie did not seem to enjoy the sexual act with Sean. If you watch the video you can see that she is not moving, but she is screaming very loudly."

I drowned out the rest before deciding to get up and go take a shower.

"_You want it to be all over Sadie? You want me to stop?" Sean made a mock sad expression. "Well it's not. We're just getting started." He slammed himself into me again and all I could think was "God help me!"_

I shuddered and quickly ran into the shower, trying to scrub away all the memories of him.

***

"_Sadie, come on. Have fun with this. After all, it is your first time right?" Sean winked and continued to go at it harder. "It will make everything so much better if you just relax." I screamed, like I had been doing countless times before, while Sean rolled his eyes._

"_I bet Tom never gave you this. I bet he was never going to anyway. The dudes a pussy and would never want to hurt his "best friend.' I guess I get to have all the fun then." Sean laughed and I struggled to breathe again as Sean bent down to kiss me. He could feel the tears that leaked out my eyes, so he pulled away._

"_Poor Sadie…" Sean wiped the tears off my face gently and then his face distorted into anger. "Dumb bitch!" Sean slapped me hard across the face, and more tears flowed freely. He wrapped his hands around my throat, not too tightly, but enough that I could feel a bit of pressure._

"_If you weren't a celebrity and nobody cared about you… just think of all the things I could do."_

I let out a scream and woke up holding my throat. Tom, who was still up, came to my side and pulled my hands away from my throat. My eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room. The only light in the room was coming from the TV.

"Sadie?" Tom was a little too close, but I didn't care at the moment. I cried, like I had been doing so much today, and Tom, of course, pulled me into a hug.

"I can't get him out of my head." I sobbed, burying my face in Tom's shirt.

"We're going to get that bastard." Tom whispered bitterly.

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**Thank you for the lovely reviews guys! They totally make my day :) **


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

My interviews for today were cancelled. Dawn and I knew that if went out for an interview, they would all want to know about the Sean incident. The fans were dying for an official statement, but I wasn't ready to come out about it yet. I didn't want it to be there business, but apparently it was now. They wanted to know _exactly_ what happened and I didn't want to tell them. Obviously if I wasn't going to tell Tom, why would I tell the fans? It was my secret to keep, but Sean had ruined that and showed the whole world.

I keep wondering what made him show the world? Was it for his 15 minutes of fame? Well those 15 minutes of fame aren't exactly _good_ minutes. Does he realize that he just ruined _his_ reputation? I don't think so, or maybe he doesn't care. Maybe he'll just do anything to ruin me. I don't see how humiliating me is ruining me though. Don't I just get more fans because people feel sorry for me?

The police had come to our hotel room to question me this morning at 6:30am. I was a bit lazy about getting up because I couldn't get Sean out of my dreams, so I kept waking up.

The police had thick German accents and it was hard to understand them, so Tom would have them ask in German and then repeat the question in English for me.

Tom watched me carefully as I answered every question to the best of my ability.

"You said he was a long time friend, why did he rape you then?" Tom repeated.

"Um…" I shrugged. "I, I don't really know, but I do know that he use to like me and… I think he still does."

"Did you ever show feelings that you might like him back?"

I nodded. "Yea. We kissed a few times, " Tom winced. "But I didn't like him like that. He was kind of my um… make out buddy?" It felt weird telling the police this with Tom standing here. I never really looked him in the eye as the police continued to ask questions.

"Do you have any idea of where he would go to get away from everyone?"

I thought about it for a moment before answering. "Sorry. No. He never really talked to me about the places he liked to go to." It was true though. He never did.

The police continued to ask me questions that I really didn't have the answers to. Before Sean came back into my life, I hadn't seen him for almost two years. I was happy they left just as quickly as the came, so that I could go back to Tom's bed and sleep. Tom lay next to me and didn't try to pull me close or anything. He learned during the night that it was starting to freak me out. I didn't like having somebody's arms wrapped around me, not letting me be able to move. It reminded me too much of Sean.

***

"Sadie…" I heard a voice whisper and lightly slide a finger down my face.

"Hmm…" I moaned, my eyes still closed.

"Sadie." The voice whispered again.

I slowly opened my eyes, expecting to see Tom, but saw someone else. I gasped and sat up quickly, a horrified expression on my face. "What- what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you." Sean purred and ran his fingers up and down my arm.

I ripped my arm away from him. "Get out." I didn't sound very forceful.

"Why Sadie?" Sean scooted closer to me. "Don't you like me?"

"N-no." My voice shook.

"We have fun together." Sean leaned in and I could feel his warm breath on my ear. "Let's have some fun now."

"No."

"Aw come on." Sean placed a hand on top of mine. "I can make this time so much better."

"I don't want to." I tried to pull my hand away, but he suddenly was pushing his down on mine.

"Sadie." He used his free hand to grab my jaw and force me to look at him. "I didn't _ask_ if you wanted to." My eyes started to glaze over, knowing what could happen in the next few minutes. "I have needs, and you're going to fix them." I started to shake as the tears rolled down my face. Sean then pulled my mouth to his and shoved his tongue down my throat. His hands found the bottom of my shirt and-

I woke up with a gasp, my pillow soaked with tears. I looked around for Tom to come and comfort me, but he wasn't there. I instantly started to sob into my hands because one, Tom wasn't there and two, because Sean wouldn't leave my mind. I imagined Tom's arms around me, but at the same time I didn't want him there. I wanted to be able to get through this without having to depend on anybody.

I started to wipe my tears, when I noticed a white piece of paper folded neatly on Tom's pillow. I hesitantly grabbed it and then gently opened it.

_Sadie,_

_I didn't want to wake you, because you finally were in a sound sleep. I'm out with the guys and Jost. We're discussing the last final things before the tour starts tomorrow. If you need anything just call me. I'll be there before you know it._

_Love, Tom_

Love Tom? He's never written that on any letter or text before. I smiled and hugged the piece of paper, before setting it down and grabbing my cell phone. I didn't really need Tom; I just wanted to hear his voice.

I was about to press speed dial number two, when my phone started to vibrate. The phone said 'Caller Unknown.' I always answered my phone, even if I didn't know who it was.

"Hello?"

"Hey Sadie." The voice said seductively.

My heart skipped a beat. "Sean?"

"You know it."

"Where are you?" I didn't want to talk him. If I didn't need to find out where he was, I would have hung up the second he said my name.

"On earth." I could practically see Sean's smirk.

"Seriously Sean, where are you?" I wish I could've reached through the phone and slapped him.

"That's for me to know, and you to never find out baby girl." Sean purred. "Ya know, I was looking through some old photos of the two of us when we were younger. I found one, that I'm sure you wouldn't be too proud of if the media found out."

"Why-" My voice suddenly cracked. "Why are you doing this? We were just fine before I left for New Zealand! Everything was cool between us!"

"Sadie, Sadie, Sadie, everything was not fine." Sean paused. "This is my way of dealing with it."

"So you're going to spend the rest of your life torturing me and hiding from the cops?" I snorted. "What a way to deal with things."

"No."

"Then what-"

"Good bye Sadie." With that, Sean hung up. I looked at my phone to see if it would give the location as to where he was calling from. Nothing. My guess, he called from a payphone.

Now he has a picture of me? How could my life get any worse? I could hear voices out in the hallway, and then a few seconds later Tom came in. He looked at me and worry struck his face. I hadn't wiped all the tears off my face so he thought something was wrong.

"Another nightmare?" Tom asked cautiously.

I nodded and sighed. "Sean just called me."

Tom's worried expression didn't change. "What'd he want?"

"He said he has a picture that I don't wan the media to see… I think he's going to give it to them Tom."

Tom's expression then changed and he looked pissed. "What?! No! The little fucking bastard! We need to stop him!"

"Tom. What are we suppose to do? I don't even know where the hell he is!"

"Where did he call you from?"

"I don't even know. I think he called from a payphone."

"Ugh!" Tom slammed his fist into the bed. "We have to get him! I won't let him hurt you anymore."

"Again, what are we suppose to do?!" I exclaimed. "Look, I don't even want to think about him right now." Tom glared at me, even though I wasn't the one he wanted to kill. "So… how's the tour plans coming along?"

***

I sat on of the couches in the tour bus and looked at all the fans outside the window. Honestly, I don't know how Tokio Hotel and I got on the bus. There was a sea of fans, paparazzi and news teams all waiting outside for us. The security guards literally ran us through the raging crowd. Fans tried to stop me to get my autograph, but security wouldn't said no. Paparazzi tried to get pictures of me, but security would just knock the cameras out of their hands. News teams tried to talk to me, but security pulled me past them. I was very grateful for the security I had.

"So many people out there…" I mumbled to no one in particular.

"You're big news right now." Bill said and sat across from me. The guys, Carol and I were sharing a bus. Their new tour was starting tonight and we were invited to stay with them just for a little while.

"Great…" I said with no enthusiasm and was grateful for the bus to start moving, leaving the crowd behind.

We had barely been on the road for twenty minutes, when the bus stopped.

"What's going on?" Gustav asked our driver.

"There is a lady who needs to get on." The driver responded. We all looked out the window to see a lady getting out of a taxi and walking up to the bus. She had sunglasses on and her head was wrapped in a scarf.

The bus door opened and she walked in. I looked at Tom nervously and he sent me the same look. The lady removed her sunglasses and scarf and then gasped when she saw me.

"Sadie!" I ran to my mom and hugged her.

"What are you doing here?" I hugged her tightly, so glad to see her.

"Why haven't you called?" She asked worriedly, and then hugged me back.

Come to think of it, I hadn't called my mom at all. "I'm sorry mom. I guess I forgot."

"Well that's ok." She pulled me away gently so she could look at my face. "I've come to take you home." What?

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**Sorry if it wasn't all that great. I'm very tired and its been a LONG 3 days. On the bright side, I saw Cinema Bizarre yesterday :) **


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

Ever feel like you can only be safe with that certain somebody? That somebody who will always be there for you, and will care for you no matter what? That somebody who will watch out for you're wellbeing? I do.

"What you talking about mom?"

"I want you to come back home with me." My mom said gently.

"Home? As in, back in California?" My mom gave a small nod. "Are you kidding me? No!"

"Honey, I just think you need to get away from all this."

"Get away from all this? You think having me go back home, is going to get rid of all the media attention?" I paused and she answered with a small nod. "Are you crazy? Have you forgotten where we live mom?! We live in Beverly fricken Hills! That place is crawling with the media!"

"I haven't seen very many paparazzi near the house lately…"

"That's because I'm not _in _California. I'm _in _Germany. I can't go anywhere without a body guard now, because someone is _always_ following. You think it will be easier for me in California, where I'm more famous? Ya right!"

"I think you'll be all right though. You have me." She smiled a small one.

I sighed and took her hand, leading her to the back of the bus where there was privacy. I glanced back at Tom and his face held a worried expression.

"Mom…" I closed the curtain, knowing it wouldn't do much good for privacy, but it was some. "I'm just fine out here."

"But honey-"

"I have Tom mom. I… I honestly don't know what I would do without him. He's been there for me since day one and I haven't even thanked him for it. I can't just leave him."

"I'm sure he'll go over it."

"Don't you get it mom? I like Tom. Like I _really, really_ like him, and I'm sure the feelings are mutual."

She looked at me quizzically. "How can you be so sure?"

"He kissed me seven months ago, the day I left." I couldn't help but smile. "He told me he was glad that he had a chance at being with me, and he kissed me again a few days ago."

"You and Tom? Now?" Her eyes widened. "I always knew something would spark between the two of you, but I didn't think so soon."

"Mom… it's been over two years." I laughed.

"Still." Her expression turned into a happy one. She sat down on one of the bunks and I sat beside her. "I always knew you two had a thing for each other."

"How?" I felt like a little kid, asking their parents to tell them a story.

"Well…" My mom took my hand lovingly. "The way you two would act around each other. Always smiling and laughing at each other, and making sure to avoid confrontation. I remember one night I came home and you guys were watching a movie on the floor. You were too into the movie to notice at first, but Tom was staring at you, deep in thought with a smug smile. A few moments later you noticed, pushed his shoulder and told him to stop staring at you." I remembered the night very well. It was only last year, summer time I think. "He stopped and went back to watching the movie with you. I walked by again a little later and this time you were staring at him. The next thing I know, you are pouring the popcorn bowl on his head." I laughed in remembrance. "He was startled at first, but then laughed and pushed you to the side, causing you to spill the cheese dip on the floor. You got up to get towels and he watched you walk out of the room with a such a serious look of longing on his face."

"You remember that?" I asked.

"Yes." She smiled thoughtfully. "I knew right then, how much he wanted to be with you."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I wasn't angry with her at all. I couldn't be. She was my mom, and I loved her.

"I thought, when the time is right, you will know. I guess now is the time huh?"

I nodded with a sigh. "I don't know if it's going to go anywhere though right now…"

My mom cocked her head to the side. "Why?"

"Because…" Tears started to well up in my eyes. "I can't really handle a guy touching me…"

"Oh baby…" She pulled me into a tight, motherly hug and I lightly cried.

I told her how much I wanted to be with him. How my world pretty much revolved around him. I told her how kind and loving he's been with me the last few days. That every time I had a nightmare, he was there to comfort me, and that in the mornings he was the first thing I would wake up to. I told her how much I liked being in his strong arms, but at times it would frighten me, and that even though I wanted him to hold me, he couldn't. She took it all in with an understanding look on her face.

"I want to be able to show how grateful I am to him, besides by just saying 'thank you."

"You mean you want to be able to show it physically?" She asked and I nodded. "You can take things real slowly. Like kiss on the cheek or something. Do you think you can do that?"

I thought about it for a moment before replying. "I think so…"

"I'm sure he'll appreciate that. He's a guy and guys will take any action they can get." My mom smiled and I laughed. "Look honey, I don't want to take you away from him, and you're right about home. I don't know what I was thinking. Honestly, why would home be any easier for you?" She looked me straight in the eyes. "Baby, I want you to know that whatever happened with Sean, was _not_ you're fault. You didn't ask for him to take that away from you." I listened intently. "Understand, that you are a beautiful girl and guys act on how they are feeling at the time. Now, I'm not condoning his behavior, but that is for future reference." She glanced in Tom's direction.

"Ok mom."

"I'm very angry with Sean and I know how much you wanted to be friends with him again. He should have never done that to you." My mom spoke very gently and stroked my hair. "No mother wants to see her child go through pain, especially that. My heart broke when I saw it on the news. The reason I came out here for you is because I had to know you were safe, and I can see that you are. Probably the safest place is with Tom."

"Does dad know?" I doubt it.

"I don't think so. I haven't talked to him. Let's just let him find out on his own, not like he would care anyway." She mumbled the last part under her breath.

"What?" I heard her, loud and clear.

"Nothing." Her tone changed to motherly. "You go out there and tell Tom, who is probably scared shitless, that I'm not taking you away."

I laughed at her terminology and hugged her. "Thanks mom." I got up from the bunk and walked out into the open area where everyone was gathered. Tom's head snapped in my direction, his face blank.

"I'm staying."

Tom's blank face turned into a grinning one and staggered over and hugged me. I froze, because I wasn't expecting it, but gradually relaxed. Tom noticed and tried to pull away, but I wrapped my arms around him. I realized that if I really wanted Tom to touch me, I could get over it. I liked feeling safe in his arms.

***

Carol and I sat in the seats above the floor, watching the boy's final rehearsal for the opening show tomorrow night. My mom stayed out in the tour bus to catch up on some sleep she missed during the long flight to Germany.

"So, how are you and Bill?" I asked, realizing I hadn't talked to her much since the day we got off the plane together.

"Pretty good. He proposed."

"What?!"

"I'm just kidding." She laughed.

"Good! Because I was gonna say, he never told me about this!"

"Why should he tell you about it?" She asked playfully.

"Because! I'm one of his best friends. I should know everything." I smiled and then shouted towards the stage, "BILL, WE'RE BEST FRIENDS RIGHT?"

Bill put a hand over his eyes, scanning the seats for me before yelling back with a stupid smile, "NO! WE'RE NOT! I DON'T LIKE GIRLS NAMED SADIE! THEY GIVE ME THE HEEBIE JEEBIES!"

"SUCK IT KAULITZ!" I screamed and turned my attention back to Carol, who was giving me a strange look.

"You and Bill have an interesting relationship."

"Because we're best friends."

"NO WE'RE NOT!" Bill shouted once again. I don't know how he heard me, but I just rolled my eyes with a laugh.

"Not trying to change the mood or anything, but have you thought about the whole pressing charges thing?"

"Oh um…" Honestly I hadn't. Sean was the last person I wanted on my mind. "No… not yet."

"Better make a decision soon."

"I have time, besides, the cops haven't even asked me yet." I said and Carol shrugged.

***

"Ugh… it's cold in here!" I exclaimed and wrapped my arms around myself as best I could. We were dining in the hotel restaurant. I joked with Bill, telling him to make sure he didn't spill any wine on the carpet. He glared at me in return.

"I know!" Tom was doing pretty much the same thing as me. Shockingly, he forgot his jacket. I know, I think so too. This is an epic day that should be written down in history. Everyone was pretty smart, even Bill, and remembered his or her jackets. Tom and I have an excuse though. We're too distracted because of certain events that we can't even think to grab sweatshirts.

"I'm going upstairs to grab mine." I scooted my chair back and stood up from the table.

"Can you grab my green jacket with the stripes?" Tom took a sip of his Cola.

"No."

"Come on, please? It's in the blue suit case."

"Tom, you have _four_ blue suitcases."

"Ugh fine." Tom stood up. "I'll go with you."

We made our way to our room upstairs on the thirteenth floor, of course with a bodyguard, managing to pass right by rabid fan girls.

"See, _this_ blue suitcase." Tom pointed at one of many suitcases on the floor of our room.

I shrugged. "It looks _just _like the others." Tom grumbled something, but I couldn't hear him.

I grabbed my black hoodie with purple and blue stars on it, and waited by the door for Tom.  
"Could you go any slower?"

"Yes." Tom stopped his normal pace and walked slowly towards the door and I. He looked so cute trying to annoy me, but I couldn't be annoyed by him very easily. I suddenly had this incredible urge to thank him. I had been thinking about what my mom said about showing Tom physically, but I wanted to take it one step further.

"Tom." He stopped moving. "Thank you." I stood on my tippy toes and pecked him swiftly on the lips. He looked taken aback at first, but then smiled as I pulled him into a hug.

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**Sorry to get this one out later then usual guys. Just been busy… as usual. **

**Thanks for the awesome reviews! :) **


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

"Craaaap." I whined and flung the suitcase shut. Carol, Bill, Tom and I decided to have a movie tonight, so we were all changing into our nighttime wear for it.

Tom spirits seemed lifted a bit since I kissed him. When we went back into the dining room, he got a few strange looks because a smile never seemed to leave his lips. Bill knew because of that twin intuition the guys had going on, and smirked. Yea, the kiss was no big deal really, but to me it was. A little over a week ago I was raped, then I didn't want Tom near me. I was quite surprised that I had allowed myself to kiss him. It seemed way too soon, but I knew Tom was nothing like Sean. Tom wouldn't hurt me or say things to make me cry. He was much more of a gentleman and knew exactly what to do or say.

"What?" Tom was in the bathroom changing.

"I grabbed the wrong suitcase from the bus. All of the stuff I usually sleep in, is in my other suitcase." I pouted, but was soon hit in the face by cloth like item.

"Wear that." Tom nodded to the shirt he'd thrown at me.

"Is this the one you wore today?" I examined to see that it was.

"Yea. Wear these too." Tom threw some basketball shorts at me.

"Umm… thanks." I smiled and headed into the bathroom to change. I stripped off my other clothes and threw on Tom's. I laughed as I exited the bathroom and Tom smirked.

"You look like you're drowning in them." Tom said lightly and went back to tieing his dreadlocks on top of his head.

"I feel like it too." I sniffed the arm of Tom's shirt and giggled. "You shirt smells really good."

"That's because I was wearing it." Tom said cockily and I pushed him aside as I walked by.

"I guess." I sighed and secretly sniffed it again. It did smell good. Like spicy and sweet, yet manly all at the same time. It smelled vaguely familiar. "What do you use?"

"Old Spice: Pure Sport."

"No wonder I recognize the smell! My dad use to wear this!" I said excitedly, but Tom turned away from mirror and made a face. "It's a good thing Tom! It's my favorite smell. Any guy I hang out with should wear Old Spice."

Tom raised an eyebrow. "Right." Tom finished his hair and then grabbed my wrist, pulling me out of our hotel room. "Come on. They said they would start it without us if we didn't get back soon."

"How come their room is better then ours!" I gasped when Tom and I stepped in to Bill and Carol's room. It was a suite. One room had a mini kitchen, couches, a table, and a flat screen TV. The other room held the bathroom, bed and another flat screen. Ours was just the normal hotel room.

"Because I'm Bill Kaulitz, and I always get the best." Bill smirked. He was sitting on the L shaped couch in front of the TV. One side was taken with he and Carol, so I was guessing the other side was for Tom and I.

"So what?" Tom scoffed. "I'm Tom Kaulitz."

"Who was made into a wax figure? Not Tom Kaulitz, that's for sure. The amazing Bill Kaulitz was."

"Who got their license first? I don't think Bill Kaulitz did." Tom and I sat in our designated spots on the couch.

"That's only because Tom Kaulitz got the better driver gene." Bill said.

"Yes he did." Tom nodded and I laughed, as they play fought.

"Who got voted hottest male celebrity? _Bill Kaulitz_."

"And I think they were on crack when they made that decision." Tom smirked. " Who had sex first? Tom Kaulitz. Because the ladies can't resist him."

"Oh please. She knew he was desperate, so she gave it to him. Now, Bill Kaulitz on the other hand – "

"Ok. Yes, yes. You are both equally wonderful." Carol rolled her eyes.

"And blah blah blah equally as hot. Now… movie time!" I liked watching them play fight, but I was tired. "If we're going to watch a movie, we'd better watch it now."

"Fine." Bill grumbled, placing one arm around Carol and the other to push play.

"I'm better then him." Tom whispered, getting more comfortable.

"I heard that." Bill started.

"Movie!" I said before Tom could get a word in.

"Oo! Triston and Isolde!" Carol and I said simultaneously.

"You like this movie?" I asked her.

"I _love_ this movie!" Carol grinned.

"Isn't James Franco so hot?" I gushed.

"He is! Oh my God and – "

"Shh!" The twins shushed us. I guess if they had to be quiet, so did we.

***

I was snuggled up to Tom, asleep, when the movie had ended. Carol and Bill were still awake and had watched the whole movie through. Well… almost. Every once in a while they would look at each other like they were love sick and then kiss. Tom and I would just roll our eyes and try and concentrate on the movie.

At one point in the night, Tom had thrown the remote at them. "Will you stop?!" It was bad enough that he had to watch Triston and Isolde have sex a million times in the movie; the last thing he wanted to hear from his brother was kissing sounds. The two eventually did stop, but after Bill had given him the bird.

Bill and Tom had really gotten into the movie at some parts. Like one of the big fighting scenes in the beginning of the movie.

"No!" Bill screamed.

"Not Triston!" Tom exclaimed

"Leave him alone!" Bill finished. Carol and I glanced at each other and silently laughed.

Another time was towards the middle end of the movie.

"Gosh… how many times a day do they have sex?" Bill asked, his eyebrows rose.

"Pshh… that's nothing little bro. I could top that." Cheeky Tom.

"Do you need help?" Bill watched Tom gently lifted me up bridal style, careful not to wake me up.

"No. I've got her." Tom said and smiled at me. I don't know why, but when I was younger, whenever someone picked me up bridal style, I would automatically snuggle as close as I could to the person. It's not like I was awake though, just a reflex I guess.

"I'll get the door." Carol got up from the couch and opened the door just as Tom had arrived at it.

"Thanks." Tom said gratefully, stepping threw the door. "Night guys."

As soon as we were in our room, Tom turned off all the lights as he passed them, but kept the one by our bed on. He pulled me tighter to his chest and used the hand that was supporting my back to lift the covers up from the bed. He gently placed me on the soft bed and slid the cool sheets and warm blanket over me. As soon as he was satisfied he walked around to his side of the bed and climbed in, turning off the last light.

"Sorry if I was too heavy." I mumbled sleepily, turning on my side towards him.

Tom snapped his eyes on me and lightly pushed away the hair that was now covering my face. "Not at all… Sadie?"

"Hmm?" I slowly opened my eyes, and after a moment of them adjusting to the darkness, to see Tom studying my face.

"Can I uh… can I umm… kiss you?" Tom whispered nervously. I stared at Tom for a few seconds before nodding my head. Tom's face remained serious and he paused. He then leaned in and kissed me, our lips moving ever so slowly against each other's. Tom pulled away and stroked my face lovingly. "Good night." He pecked my lips quickly and settled into his side of the bed.

I laid there, a happiness glowing inside me. I wanted to be close to him, so I scooted towards him. "Good night." I smiled and laid my head on his chest.

***

"Well… don't you two look cute together?" I heard Sean's voice and I instantly woke up. Sean was standing in front of the bed, his arms crossed and an amused look on his face. "Mind if I take Tom's spot babe?

"Get out of here!" I shouted, and shook Tom awake. His eyes opened and a scared look crossed his face. Tom buried his face in the pillow. "What the…"

"Aww… is your boyfriend scared of me?" Sean's amused face turned into a crazy grin. "He should be." Sean whipped out a switchblade and slowly walked to the bed, lightly petting the blade. "There are so many things I've wanted to do to him. He took you away from me."

"Stay away from him!" I knew my shouting was doing no good, but possibly egging Sean on. "I was never yours in the first place!"

"You always were… just never knew it." Sean continued to pet the blade, as he got closer to the bed.

"No way! I would never be with someone the likes of you." I spat and Sean glared at me. "Tom is twice the man you ever were!"

Sean was then suddenly at Tom's side of the bed, the switchblade at Tom's throat. "What would you do if I… cut his throat?"

"Leave him alone!" I cried and heard Tom give a loud whimper.

"All you have to do is say your mine, and tell the cops it wasn't rape."

"No."

"Are you sure about that Sadie?" Sean applied more pressure to the blade. If he applied anymore, it would immediately start to cut the top layer skin. "Sadie… I'm waiting…

"Ahh!" I screamed and sat up quickly in bed. I frantically looked around for the crazy Sean with a knife. He was nowhere to be seen.

"Sadie." Tom groaned and sat up next to me. "What happened?" Tom was getting use to my random nightmares through the nights now.

I wrapped my arms around Tom tightly. "Sean was going to kill you!" I cried and Tom hugged me back.

"There is no way in hell that is going to happen." Tom said and kissed my hair.

•••

"_I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world. Life in plastic, it's fantastic…_" Bill sang quietly into the mic during their sound check.

Carol and I burst out laughing. "I don't think that's one of your songs Bill." Carol yelled loudly. We were seated in the chairs above the floor in the venue again, watching the boy's sound check for their first concert of this tour.

"_You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere…_" Bill sang louder into the mic and started to dance. "_Imagination, life is your creation_." The crew stopped their work suddenly to listen to Bill. "_I'm a blonde bimbo girl, in the fantasy world, dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly._"

"_You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in pink_," I don't think Georg wanted to be left out, so he sang 'Kens' part. "_Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky_…"

Bill grabbed the mic and rushed over to Georg right as he finished. "_You can touch_," Bill grabbed Georg's hand and put it on his chest. " _You can play_," Georg then started to seductively move his hand up and down with a silly grin, while Bill got into his face. _"If you say, I'm always yours_…"

The adults didn't find it funny, but Gustav, Tom, Carol and I sure as hell did. We were all laughing when the stage manager yelled at Bill and Georg to stop messing around.

"I love your boyfriend." I sighed.

"So do I. That's why he's mine." Carol laughed.

"Whatever. At least I got the sexier one." I taunted.

"Oh please, yours is so lazy that he decided to dread his hair." Carol crossed her arms.

"What are you talking about? So what if he's lazy? The dreads look hot."

"Sadie's right. My dreads are hot." Tom said into his mic.

"Why can you hear us?" Carol shouted and then looked at me. "Seriously. We're like a million feet away."

I shrugged. "I don't know. I guess the Kaulitz twins have super sonic, magical hearing.

"We do!" They both shouted and Carol and I looked at each other weirdly.

"Must be a twin thing…" Carol suggested and I agreed.

"It is!" The twins once again shouted. I just rolled my eyes along with Carol.

***

I settled into my bunk on the tour bunk and closed my eyes. Every one else was still in the venue goofing off. I'm tired all the time now because of my stupid nightmares.

"Hey Sadie."

I opened my eyes and there was Sean leaning over the top bunk with that crazy grin of his.

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**I wanted this chapter to be a bit longer then the previous one. So… I hope you guys liked it. Reviews are AWESOME. You, the readers, are AMA-ZA-ZING.**


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

I shut my eyes and rubbed them, hoping that Sean was just a figment of my imagination. I opened my slowly to see that he was still there. I quickly blinked and pinched myself thinking that I would wake up, but I only winced from the pain.

"Yes baby." Sean smoothly fell out of the bunk and landed gracefully on the floor. "It's really me."

I couldn't say anything. All I could do was stare. He then took a step towards me, causing me to jerk back into the tightest corner of the bunk. I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. "Stay away from me." I said pitifully. I wanted Tom. I wanted Tom to keep me safe.

Sean crawled into the bunk and sat Indian style, his back to the other side of the bunk. "I'm not here to hurt you babe. I'm not stupid enough to try and have some fun with you while your stupid boyfriend and security are around."

"He's not my boyfriend." I muttered, trying not to make eye contact.

"Call him whatever you like. All that matters is, that you are both totally into each other."

"Ok?"

"And I hate that." Sean whispered darkly.

I pulled my knees in tighter and quietly asked, "How did you get in here?"

"It's not important but… I have my ways." Sean shrugged but then slowly smiled. "Don't you want to know why I'm here?" I never gave him a direct answer, but Sean took that as a yes. "I'm here because I wanted to see you." I raised an eyebrow. "I was thinking that _maybe_ you'd like to have some fun later on?" Sean wiggled his eyebrows.

"Not with you!" I wasn't as frightened as before because, at the moment, it felt like the old, nice Sean.

"Aw come on babe." Sean reached out and traced my hands lightly with his fingertips. "It'll be like old times."

Sean looked taken a back when I slapped his hand away. "No." I'm guessing 'old times' was the rape. "Is that really why you're here? Just to try and get me to have sex with you?"

"Well that and… I want you to drop the rape charges." Sean said nonchalantly.

"I haven't even pressed charges yet… but I've been thinking about it." I watched as Sean froze, but a second later went back to his usual stupid self.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Sean smoothly said and reached into his pocket for his phone. He clicked around on it for a moment and then held out the screen to me. "Member this?"

My eyes widened. "Where… where did you get this?" The screen beheld a picture of me in Sean's backyard when I was 13. I had my short, black, curly hair and purple contacts that I thought looked so cool, but now that I look back on it, they looked terrible. I was holding a small plastic bag that held weed, Sean's weed. My face was in the big and I was sniffing it, acting like it was the best smell in the world. I was really just making fun of Sean, because that's what he did every time he took the bag out to smoke. Sean was standing next to me with his arms crossed, smirking. I knew that if anyone else were to see this picture they would probably think I did weed when I was younger.

I honestly had it about 3 or 4 times. That was it. I didn't like dealing with the fact that I had to hide it from my parents. It was too much effort. Like making sure that my parents weren't home so that I could take a shower and wash my clothes. My mom asked every time why I was only washing a few items instead of a whole load. I made up a different excuse each time.

"You don't remember my buddy taking this? It doesn't matter anyway, all that matters is, and if you press charges this picture gets sent straight to the worldwide web. Now wouldn't you just love for that to happen?" Sean smirked.

"Delete it."

"Ok." Sean shrugged and I watched him press delete. The picture vanished. I was actually surprised he listened to me. "I still have a copy of it at home though."

"Why are you doing this?!" I suddenly screamed. "Ya know, you wouldn't have to deal with the rape charges if you didn't _rape_ me!" Sean just smirked. "I can't believe you aren't taking this seriously. Do you even realize what you did?! You RAPED me. That is a serious thing!"

"And I'd do it again but-"

"You are so fucked up Sean! Seriously, I look at you and wonder how the hell I use to be friends with you! Sean you hurt me. I could handle you making me cry, but this…" My eyes started to glaze over. "And the fact that you're not even sorry you did it…"

"Why should I be sorry about doing something I've always wanted to do with you? I don't regret it all! If it gets me thrown in jail, then fine!" Sean's face then turned into a sick smile. "At least I got to take away your virginity. I know how important it was to you, but hey, you should be thankful. You got to have sex with me."

"I couldn't even enjoy it!" By now I had unwrapped my arms from around my knees. "I probably won't even know what 'making love' really means because I'm too afraid to do it now! I don't want a guy to touch me! I- I'm barely able to hold myself together around Tom, and I HATE that I'm like that now! It's not fair to either of us. I shouldn't be feeling like this! It's all your fault!"

"Good." Sean's sick smile never left.

"No, not good! I want to be able to experience being with a guy I really like, and not having to be scared that he's suddenly going to do something I don't like! I can't even sleep at night because of you! Tom practically sits up all night-"

Sean suddenly lunged forward and silenced me with a kiss. I freaked and tried to slap him away but he was too strong. He leaned me back, hands already traveling. I then kicked him where the sun don't shine, and he keeled back in pain.

"You bitch!" He exclaimed and held his man parts.

I wiped my mouth furiously while starting to hyperventilate. "Get. Out. Now."

Sean glared for a moment, but surprisingly got up from the bunk. "The moment is ruined anyway. This isn't over Sadie." I didn't make eye contact with him. I just wrapped my arms around my knees again. "You're little reaction has just upset me. For a second there I was actually thinking about not sending out that picture. Your pitiful story made me feel a bit sorry for you, but now…" Sean moved towards me again. "Now the whole world will know what you did when you were 13."

"Please don't." I mumbled as tears that we're threatening to come out, suddenly spilled over my eyelids.

"Must suck to be you. You're career is already starting to spiral down." Sean smiled. "See ya in court Sadie." He said and moments later was off the bus.

I lay my head on my knees as I cried and my body shook. It just wasn't fair. I didn't deserve any of this. Yes I led the boy on, but I never knew it would bring this. I thought when Sean came back into my life that he actually wanted to be friends again. Apparently I thought wrong. He's trying to ruin my career.

I didn't have the energy to run out of the bus and alert one of the security guards. I was so tired, and yelling at Sean didn't make it any better. I accidentally left my cell backstage instead of taking it with me; so alerting Tom was out of the question. I didn't really want to anyway. I would just have to deal with him getting mad and start cursing up a storm about what he was going to do when Sean was found. I decided I would tell him when I saw him.

After making sure that Sean was gone for good, I lay down on my bunk; my blinds slightly open so I could see out, and fell asleep.

***

The movement of someone getting on the bus woke me up.

"Sadie, how am I suppose to be able to get a hold of you if you leave your cell – oh." Tom went quiet when he reached my bunk and saw me with my eyes closed.

"I'm awake." I mumbled groggily and turned onto my other side facing Tom.

"Here's your cell phone." Tom set it next to my pillow. "You left it backstage." He stared at my face and noticed the black streaks down my face.

"We're you crying?" He asked and sat down on the edge of my bunk. I opened my eyes and nodded. "Another Sean nightmare."

"Yea." I sighed, too comfortable to sit up. "I saw him."

"Well, he's kinda in all of your nightmares lately."

"No. I mean I _really_ saw him. He was right here Tom."

Tom gave me a weird look. "What?"

"I'm serious. He was standing where you were just a few moments ago."

"Sadie I don't think-"

I then sat up. "He was right there!" I pointed at the end of the bunk. "And then he kissed me!"

Tom reached out and touched my forehead with the back of his hand. "Are you feeling ok?"

I swatted it away. "I'm feeling fine! I'm telling you, he was right here!"

"Would you stop repeating yourself?"

"Well if you believed me then I would!"

"Why- why should I believe you Sadie? You had a dream that he was going to slit my throat!" Tom looked at me sympathetically. "It was just a dream. I think Sean is really starting to get to you."

"What do I have to do to make you believe me?!" I asked frantically.

"Alright… say he was here. Why didn't you tell anyone, when you know people are looking for him?" _Oh crap._

"I- I don't know! I was just too tired at the moment to care! I just wanted him away from me." I racked my brain, trying to remember anything that would make Tom believe me. "He showed me a picture of when I was younger! He said that if I pressed charges he would show the world!"

"What was the picture of?"

"Um… I'd rather not say at the moment, but it's bad, and nobody needs to see it!" Tom didn't need to know just yet.

"Sadie… like I said before, it was probably just a –"

"But it wasn't Tom! I saw him! It was the _real_ Sean." I emphasized.

"How the hell did Sean get here anyway?" Tom didn't sound like he believed me.

"His parents are doctors. He can afford the flight out here."

"No, I mean like in _here_. The bus."

That was something I hadn't thought of. "Oh… I don't know…"

"Sadie." Tom sighed and took my hands. "It was just a dream. I have to get back inside and finish sound check. Dinner's soon, so make sure you don't stay in her too much longer." Tom kissed my cheek swiftly, and I winced and pulled away angrily. Tom rolled his eyes and stood up, letting go of my hands. "I know you're frustrated right now, but please don't stay mad forever." Tom turned and headed to the exit of the bus and called out, "If you're not inside in an hour, I'm coming back and forcing you inside."

I huffed and crossed my arms. I know what I saw. I know Sean was real.

***

After Tom had left the bus, I went backstage about 30 minutes later so Tom wouldn't have to drag me in. I didn't eat much of the food so I just pushed it around my plate. Even after an hour, I was still upset that Tom didn't believe me.

"Sadie. Eat your food." Bill said after noticing most of my food was still on my plate. He was already on his second plate.

"No!" I snapped and threw my fork down. The loud clang of the fork hitting the porcelain startled everyone. Bill raised an eyebrow, but Tom shook his head and sent him a look that said 'Don't ask.' I glared at Tom and he shrugged it off while grabbing his water cup.

I didn't have to be angry for much longer. Tom was going to believe me after the concert tonight.

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**Thanks for the rocking reviews guys :D **


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

"Oh my God!" Carol burst suddenly. The two of us were sitting in the backroom, watching the guys kill each other in some fighting video game. For the rest of dinner I was ignored. The boys probably thought I was on my period or something and didn't want to risk pissing me off. Not that I already wasn't…

I looked away from the screen to Carol. "What?"

She scooted really close, until she was practically on top of me and asked, "Have you taken Plan B?"

"Huh?"

"The morning after pill!" She whispered harshly.

"Oh…" Then realization settled in. "What, no!"

She suddenly stood up from the couch and pulled me up. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" I asked as she dragged me to the door.

"We'll be right back." Carol said to the boys, who were too engrossed in their video game to notice us.

"Carol." I said impatiently.

As soon as we were out the door, Carol looked around and then said in a low voice, "To go get a pregnancy test."

"Oh my God…" I couldn't believe that I had never thought about it before. I was too into the whole rape that I never stopped to think what rape could bring.

Carol rolled her eyes. "I can't believe you never thought about this!"

"Well sorry! I've had a few other things on my mind!" I said, but Carol rolled her eyes again.

"Whatever. Come on." She led me out into the back of the studio where our Tour Bus, and other important cars were parked. "Hold on a sec. I'll get Alvin to drive us."

"Drive us to the store? I can't be seen in public buying a pregnancy test." She ignored me and went back into the building.

Alvin was a new bodyguard in training. He was a young French boy, about twenty-three, bulky and had a shaved head. Cute, but not my type.

A few seconds later Carol and Alvin were exiting the building and getting into a car that was near the entrance.

Just as I was about to repeat my self, Carol spoke. "No way are we going to a store." She put on her seat belt. "I have like a ton back at the hotel."

"Why so many?" I asked stupidly, but then I suddenly understood. "Oh…"

"Yea. You can never be too careful. I'd rather know right away when I want to know, rather then having to wait for someone to get some for me." Carol sighed. "I love dating Bill and all, but seriously, I'm loosing my independence."

"Now you know how we all feel every single day." I smiled.

Alvin escorted us to Carol's room as soon as we arrived at the hotel, and waited out in the hallway.

Carol went to her suitcase and rummaged around in it for a moment until it produced a pregnancy test.

"Here." She handed me, what looked like a white stick, and I looked at her skeptically.

"Aren't these things supposed to work like two weeks _after_ sex? It's only been like a week." I placed the test back in her hand.

"Just use it."

"But it's just going to say negative."

"Maybe a miracle will happen and it will tell you a week early." Carol gave it back.

"Carol-"

"Go pee on the stick!" She urged and pushed me into the bathroom. "I'm not walking away from this door until I hear you pee."

"You're gross." I laughed.

"Yup. Now hurry up."

I stared at the white stick in my hand and-

"You pee on the foam part."

"Thanks!" I called, and then mumbled, "Like I didn't know that." I knew there was really no point that I should take the test. It's not like it was going to give correct results, but I did it for Carol anyway.

I finished up and set the stick on the counter, washing my hands as I waited for the results. As much as I wanted the negative to be true, I still wouldn't know for another week. Maybe when the negative sign comes up, it will relieve me for about a week, and then I'll do it again. But wait. For the whole next week, I'll be super anxious to know what the real result was. I don't know how I am going to be able to sleep. Watch, I'll probably be up all night, every night, until I know the correct answer. At least it will keep me from my nightmares of Sean.

The results soon shown on the test, and I wasn't surprised. I opened the door to the bathroom and showed Carol the test. "Negative. Just like I said."

"Well…"

"What, did you want it to say positive that way we would know if by some miracle I found out early?" I walked to a trashcan and threw it out.

"No. Of course not! That would suck if you were pregnant."

"I know." Carol's bed looked comfortable, so I decided to lie down on it. "Do… do you ever wonder what would happen if you were pregnant with Bills kid?" I watched as Carols expression changed.

"I have thought about it." Carol lay down next to me. "Like, how would I even support the baby? I barely made enough for myself when I was working at Petsmart."

"What about Bill?"

"Bill buys me stuff and takes care of me but, would he still be like that if there was a kid in our lives?" She turned her side, her elbow supporting her head. "I've read interviews where he says he doesn't want any kids. At least not right now. I mean… seriously. How would he even be a good dad? He's always on the road touring, or in the studio recording, or talking in a million interviews. Sure, maybe if he wasn't busy and didn't have a rock star life, he would be a great dad, but for now… eh… I don't know. What about you and Tom?"

I was a little surprised at her question. "What about me and Tom?"

"Aren't you and Tom a couple?"

"Well… not officially. Basically we're um… friends with benefits. He did tell me he wanted to be with me though…" I smiled at the memory of Tom telling me he was happy he had a chance at being with me.

"Maybe he's taking things slow? Because of the rape and stuff. Maybe he thinks you're just not ready or maybe he just doesn't want to be in a committed relationship. This is _Tom_ we're talking about." Carol laughed.

"Yea… but I think he's changing. Like, growing up I guess. I really haven't heard talk about girls the way he use too. And was he even with any girls while I was gone?"

"A few." That made my heart sink. "You can't be mad at him though. You guys weren't official, and you still aren't. I have noticed that Tom's changed… for the better. I think he really does care about you and wants to be with you now that you're back. I mean, he's been spending almost all his time with you right?"

"Yea." I smiled. "Maybe someday we'll be official, just not right now. I need to get through those whole thing with Sean first."

***

Carol and I sat in the nosebleed section of the venue. It was _way_ up there at the very top, but Carol and I didn't mind. We always got the front row, but this time we wanted to see what the very top was like. The boys we're late coming out… not like that's anything new, so Carol and I talked to some of the fans. We got lucky that they were really chill fans, especially since Bill and Carol were public now and the whole rape issue with me. I was still embarrassed by the situation, but I knew the sooner I started to go in public, the sooner I would get over it. Besides, the fans are cool.

"So do you watch their shows every night?" A fan with Dark blonde hair asked.

Carol and I nodded. "Practically, but this tour just started, so we haven't seen very many shows."

"When they were playing in America last, we had seen more." Carol said.

"You guys are _so_ lucky!" The fan gushed. "I would love to see them live every night. And you Carol! You get to kiss the sex god, Bill Kaulitz."

Carol laughed. "I think Tom is the sex god."

"Still. Bill is the sex." The fan smirked. "And you Sadie. You get to spend time with Tom Kaulitz." She said his name dreamily.

"Yup. He's a funny dude. Like I say in all of my interviews, my best friend."

"That's it?" A new girl with red hair joined the conversation. "Come on, there is _no_ _way_ that you could have gone this long without kissing the man."

I glanced at Carol, who suddenly looked nervous. "Well, like I just said, Tom is my best friend, and I basically see him as a brother. Would you kiss your brother?"

"Haha no. But come on! Can't you tell us anything that goes on between you?" Red head begged.

"I can say that Tom has been there for me throughout this whole thing with Sean. Like he will stay by my side all night, making sure I feel safe and calm.

"Aww!" A bigger group of fans were listening to our conversation.

"Yea." I smiled.

"What the heck?" Blondie was looking at her cell phone strangely and then held it out to me. "Is this you?"

It was the picture that Sean said he was going to make public, and he did. People all over the world were sending the picture to everybody.

I stared at the phone wide eyed. "Uh…"

"It is Sadie!" The red head exclaimed after looking at Blondie's cell. "You smoke pot?"

Suddenly the fans phones were starting to ring. Almost everyone in the nosebleed section had received the picture of me. Wow… things travel fast now a days.

"I'm going to get to kill him." I muttered angrily, but then felt everybody's eyes on me.

"You can't deny this is you." Red head said. "It's so obvious. I've been a fan of yours since the beginning, but now…"

"You aren't seriously going to stop being a fan because of that picture are you?" Carol asked astonishedly.

The fans started to crowd me and take a ton of pictures of Carol and I. I felt somebody kick me in the leg. "I looked up to you!" A fan screamed. "Me too! And you call yourself a role model!"

"It's just weed guys…" I mumbled quietly. The fans surrounded Carol and I. There was no place for us to go. "I think we need to leave."

"Yea." Carol agreed and tried to stand up. "Can you guys move?"

"Yea, please? We're trying to get out of here." I successfully stood up and started shoving me way through the crowd, Carol close behind.

"No." Red head and Blondie stopped us from going any further. "Sadie's best friends with the boys remember? She's probably giving the boys drugs!" Blondie shouted. That just made the fans close in even more.

"Seriously, move!" I shouted, but it did no good.

"I can't believe Tom and the boys actually like you." Red head sneered.

"Would you guys quit over reacting?! It's just a little weed! I was 13 for goodness sakes!" I exclaimed. "I have enough common sense not to do that anymore!"

"Move, move! Back up! Get out of the way!" Alvin had shown up with a few other guards. The pushed through the fans and grabbed Carol and I.

***

I sat in the back room with Carol, watching the boys celebrate another awesome with wine and other drinks. Carol really didn't care that I had done that. She too had experimented with it when she was younger. I was glad that she wasn't making a big deal about it. People these days… they want every Disney star to be perfect, and when they do one un-perfect thing, they are suddenly horrible role models.

Tom was checking his phone for any texts messages or missed call, when he suddenly frowned at the phone.

"Is this you Sadie?"

I didn't need to look at the phone to know what he was talking about. "I was 13. Big deal. I don't do that anymore."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Tom sipped his glass of wine.

"It's not a big deal! I just wanted to keep that part about me private. Guess it's not private anymore huh! Stupid Sean…"

"Hold on. You said earlier today that when you "saw" Sean, he was going to send out a picture of you when you we're younger…" Tom's brain was starting to connect the dots.

I nodded. "I told you I saw him Tom. I didn't make it up."

"The bastard was really here…. And he kissed you! The little fucker… ugh! I'm going to kill him!" Tom then suddenly squeezed his glass so hard it broke. Glass and spilled wine was all over the floor

**-----------------------**

**Sorry if it wasn't all that exciting guys. I'm tired. *Passes out on keyboard* **


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

"Can you get the door?" Tom asked as we approached our hotel room.

"Where's your key?"

"Here." Tom reached into his pocket with his left hand, the good one, and handed me the wallet. His right hand was wrapped in gauze and medical tape. I pulled out the room key for him because it hurt his hand to do so. Every time he bent his fingers, the skin across his knuckles would stretch, which was also stretching the cut across his hand.

I handed him back the wallet and put the key card in the door. Earlier in the evening, around midnight, we stopped by the emergency room to have a doctor look at his hand, and pull out little shards of glass in the cut. It wasn't so deep, but it was enough that any type of movement of the skin would cause pain. The doctor had told Tom to leave the wound alone, and change the bandages every so often so it could heal properly. Tom tried to act like it didn't hurt when the glass was being removed, but Bill and I could easily see it was hurting him. He couldn't fool us.

Even though Tom was only slightly injured, Bill was worried for him. He was the first to run to Tom after the glass broke and the blood started to run. Bill yelled at me to bring him a towel, I did, to apply pressure to the cut. I giggled slightly as Bill kept asking Tom if he was all right. Tom would nod his head and say he was fine, but then Bill would ask if he was really ok. It wasn't until Tom had said "Bill. I'm _fine._ I'm alive and breathing. I will be ok. It's just a little blood. Don't worry about me, please?" Bill only stared at Tom before finally accepting his answer.

On the way back from the emergency room, we discussed the next show. Bill and I were concerned that Tom wasn't going to be able to play, but Tom assured us that no matter what, there would be no reason to cancel the upcoming concert in three days.

"Baby!" I heard a voice say as soon as I walked in the door.

"Hi mom." I said and was engulfed in her arms. She was leaving tomorrow morning on a plane back to California.

"I can't believe Sean! What does he think he's doing trying to ruin my baby's career?" My mom hugged me tighter.

"How'd you know it was Sean?" I asked as soon as she let go.

"Who else would have that picture?" She then gave me a stern look. "Don't think for one second, that I didn't know what you two were up to back then."

"Why didn't you talk to me then?"

"I was hoping you would come to be about it… but you never did." She sighed. "Oh well. That was the past. You don't do that anymore do you?"

"No!" I exclaimed. "No way. I'm done with that stuff.

"That's my girl." My mom hugged me again. Tom stood in the door awkwardly watching, one hand in his pocket, the other resting at his side. "Dawn called. Sean's been found." She smiled when she pulled away.

"Really?" Already? I just saw him today.

"Yes. Said a cop spotted him here in Germany and said he needed to go in for questioning. Sean said no and would only be questioned in California." This was good news. "He is on a plane to the US as we speak."

"That's great mom." It really was, but I was a little too tired to be enthusiastic right now.

"But," There's always a 'but'. "The police want you to come out and give them an official statement and your plans on pressing charges or not."

"Out to California?" I asked.

"Only for a couple days, a week at the max. Think you could do that?"

"I guess so…" A couple days away from Tom wouldn't be so bad. Although I would rather not to leave him at all, but I knew I had to get this taken care of. The sooner it was out of my hair, the more time I would have with Tom.

"I don't have to do any interviews do I?"

"No. None are scheduled. All you need to do is fly out to California, talk to the police, state if your pressing charges, and then come back to Germany." My mom smiled. She made it sound so simple, but it wasn't. If I pressed charges, I would have months of court to do deal with, and that was one thing I did not want to do. I wanted to focus on my relationship with the guys and my acting career, not Sean and his stupid mistakes. I mean seriously, does he realize whom he's messing with? I'm not exactly a nobody. Because of who I am and how I make my case out to be, I could have him in jail for years.

"When would I leave?"

"Tomorrow, on the plane with me. We need to be at the airport by 10 in the morning."

"I'll go." I said figuring this was my best option for this whole mess.

"Good. Now I'm going to my room to get some sleep. Gustav, such nice boy, offered to let me use his room. He said he would sleep on the loveseat in Georg's room."

"That was nice of him. Well… good night mom." I hugged her and she said good night, leaving Tom and I alone for the rest of the night.

Tom barely moved aside as my mom left our room. He just stood there and watched me with tired eyes.

"You're aloud to talk ya know." I said as Tom continued to be silent. "Tom, it's only going to be a few days… I'll be back."

"Good." Tom finally spoke after being quiet the entire conversation with my mom. "I'm glad that you'll be able to get this whole situation dealt with."

"Oh…" I wasn't expecting that answer. I was expecting him to complain about how he didn't want me to leave. I liked his real answer better. "Well ya…"

"I'm going to change now." Tom said and walked to his suitcase, pulling out basketball shorts and another baggy t-shirt.

"Can I sleep in your clothes again?" I blurted out, not even thinking about what I was going to say. "There're uh… there're more comfortable then mine." Which was true. Tom turned and smirked before throwing another pair of his basketball shorts at me. He was just about to grab a clean shirt when I stopped him. "No. I want the one you're wearing now."

Tom gently padded over to me; the smirk still hadn't left his face. "Here princess." He raised his arms and pulled off the shirt, trying to avoid hitting the cut hand. He was standing in front of me with a bare chest. My eyes widened a bit and I couldn't help but take all of Tom in. I was quite surprised to see that Tom didn't have another t-shirt on underneath like he usually did. "Yes, I know I'm _that_ gorgeous."

I rolled my eyes as they instantly snapped up into his. "Your so full of yourself." He laughed and I grabbed the shirt out of his hand, making my way to the bathroom.

"Where's your shirt?" I asked as soon as I stepped out of the bathroom in his wonderfully smelling shirt and baggy basketball shorts.

Tom was sitting on the bed, his back leaning against the headboard. The sheets and blankets were pulled down. "Well you seemed to be enjoying the view so I figured, hey, why not let her enjoy it a little longer." He broke into a smile.

"Who said I enjoyed the view?" I tried to not blush as I climbed onto the bed with him after throwing my old clothes on my suitcase. I got to sleep next to the shirtless Tom Kaulitz. Be jealous girlies.

"Your eyes and your speechlessness told me." Tom waited me for me to snuggle and get comfortable next to him, before putting his arm around my shoulder.

I glanced down at his bandaged hand that was now in front of me. "Does it still hurt a lot?"

"Who said it hurt to begin with?"

"Your eyes and your face told me." I smiled, mocking Tom, who just rolled his eyes.

"Well… yes it does hurt. Just a little bit though." Tom just had to be a man about it.

"Fine then." I giggled and then got quiet. "Are you not upset that I'm leaving?"

Tom's smug face broke. "Of course I'm upset. What gave you the idea that I wasn't?"

"Well, you don't seem to be making an effort to stop me from going, so…"

"Sadie." I looked into his eyes. "This is something that is important and that you need to deal with. I don't want to be the one to get in the way of that. I want this to be finished so then I can see your smiling face more often. I'm not going to interfere with you getting Sean's ass in jail."

I looked at Tom for a few more moments before leaning and kissing his lips gently. Tom was pleasantly surprised, but didn't waste any time kissing me back.

I could feel Tom shift slowly so that he was more above me, but then he suddenly pulled away. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to." He whispered.

"I want to though." I said and cupped his face with my hand and kissed him again. Tom again, didn't hesitate to kiss me back. We somehow ended up from leaning against the headboard, to laying flat on the bed, Tom still above me. He ran his fingers through my hair, as I tasted the silver ring on his lip. He was very slow with his movements, and didn't touch really touch anywhere but my head. Just as Tom was opening his mouth more, Sean's face ran through my head. I stopped and Tom raised an eyebrow. "I'm fine." I lied. I wanted to actually get somewhere with Tom. Kissing him made me feel more adult, less of a child. That somehow, someone was actually taking me seriously as I grew up into a young women instead of saying a kid forever.

He didn't seem to register that I was only saying that, so he instantly bent down to kiss me again. I erased the image of Sean and tried to focus solely on Tom. It seemed to be working as our kiss deepened, but as soon as tongues were getting involved I pulled away. Not because I was disgusted, because I was definitely not, but because the memory of Sean shoving his tongue down my throat suddenly appeared.

I moved away from Tom, only to accidentally roll on top of his injured hand.

"Ow!" He yelled and pulled his arm out from under me.

"Sorry!" My face went red with embrassement, but Tom only laughed.

"I'll be ok." Tom then ran a finger gently down the side of my face. "But will you be?"

"Huh?

"It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know why you pulled away." Tom said knowingly.

"Oh…" I then sighed angrily. "I just can't seem to get him out of my head! It's not fair! I can't do anything without him interfering somehow…" I choked as tears of frustration rushed to my eyes.

"This won't last forever Sadie." Tom lightly stroked my hair. "You'll get through it soon enough."

"Soon is to far away." I sniffed and wiped a stray tear of my face.

"You don't honestly expect yourself to suddenly be able to pull through this and act as if nothing happened do you?" I shrugged as Tom continued. "It's going to take time and I'm going to be here every step of the way."

"I don't deserve someone that is so kind and understanding like you." I turned and mumbled into his chest. His smooth, tight chest…

Tom laughed lightly. "What do you mean? Yes you do. I should be saying the same for you."

"Whatever… I'm the idiot who went over to Sean's in the first place." I grumbled.

"Your not an idiot. You didn't know what Sean was planning."

"I should have seen it coming." I whispered, my lips lightly touching his chest as I spoke.

"Ah Sadie…" Tom sighed and then kissed the top of my head. "I would love to continue talking to you, but we need to get sleep. You have to get up early." I nodded, so Tom turned to the light on his side of the wall and switched it off.

"I took a pregnancy test." I said what had been on my mind all evening.

Tom jerked up and even in the dark I could see his intense eyes. "What?"

"It was negative."

"Thank God." Tom settled back into the bed and once again, I snuggled up to him. I didn't plan on telling him that they weren't the real results yet.

----------------------------------

**IT'S OUT! FINALLY!**

**Sorry guys. I didn't mean for it to take this long. My schedule is getting busier and is starting to interfere with my writing time. And that doesn't make me happy. I like writiing WAY MORE then I like doing some of the other stuff I have to do. New chapter sometime this weekend. **

**I'm thinking this story should be done somwhere towards the end of June.**

**But I will be back with a sequel. :]**


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

"Sadie." Warm breath tickled my ear and I shivered. "Sadie."

"Mmm…" I snuggled in closer to the rock hard chest that was slowly rising up and down. It was lightly scented with Old Spice and the smell drove me crazy. I wanted to kiss every inch of him, but I refrained from doing so. As much as I wanted him, I was sure I would freak out in the middle and ruin the mood. I wasn't ready to go anywhere near 'all the way,' well… not right now anyway.

"You need to get up."

"I'm good right here. The plane can leave without me." My lips tickled his chest as I spoke and I could feel the already rock hard muscles tighten. I smiled and kissed it, hoping that Tom liked that. That's all I was going to do.

Tom stroked my hair. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing." I mumbled, my lips pressed against him. Tom stared down at me curiously, but was even more surprised when I started leaving kisses trailing from his chest all the way up to his mouth. I gently pressed my lips to his gently and then backed off. "I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself." I said sheepishly. I guess I lied when I said that was all I was going to do.

Tom's face remained black until he reached out and pulled my face to his, gently returning the kiss I had started. We relaxed and Tom slowly pulled me back down, my chest against his. Tom's hands ran down my back and stopped at the small of it, and even though I was wearing a big t-shirt, it still made me shiver. His touch was so light and perfect that Sean was pushed out of my mind completely and all I could think about was Tom.

I opened my eyes to glance at the clock and immediately pushed away from Tom. "Crap!" I had to leave in 20 minutes. I made a mad dash for my suitcase and pulled out the first t-shirt and jeans I could find.

"Why'd you wake me up so late?" I asked hurriedly while grabbing my undergarments.

"We forgot to set an alarm." Tom shrugged and sat up against the headboard. I only nodded my head and ran into the bathroom, stripping my clothes as soon the door was closed. My reflection in the mirror caught my attention. I stopped what I was doing and stared back at myself. I still had the bruises, but they were light and fading. A couple of months ago I would have looked in the mirror and saw a 17 year old girl who still acted like she was a kid, but the new girl had a matured face. I didn't know if it was because I was gone for seven months and learned what it was like to be responsible for myself, or because of the recent incident.

I quickly finished dressing and ran a brush through my hair a few times. As I applied my makeup I couldn't help but mentally grin at what just happened a few minutes before. It wasn't much, but definitely a start. Especially because I had started it.

I walked out of the bathroom holding Tom's clothes, to find him staring out the window. "Where do you want me to put these?"

His eyes left the window and met mine as a small smile crept onto his face. "Just put them on my suitcase. I'll deal with them later."

I did what he said and looked at the clock. 10 minutes till my mom would come and get me. Tom suddenly got out the huge bed and walked to the suitcase next to me "Wanna smoke?" Before I even answered, he was already rustling around in his suitcase looking for the box of cancer sticks and a lighter.

We had just put out our cigarettes when there was a knock at the door. "Sadie? Are you up? It's time to leave."

"I'll be right out mom." I called. I put the last few items that were lying around, in my suitcase, and was ready to leave. I wheeled it to the door and set it against the wall, turning back to Tom. He had put a shirt on before going outside because it was little cold.

Tom put a hand on my shoulder and slowly ran it down my arm, leaving me to crave for his touch even more. "I know you're worried Sadie, but do not let that little worm get away with this. He deserves to be thrown in jail for what he did, and it's up to you to see that it happens. "

"Yea but-"

"Sadie, please." Tom almost pleaded. "It would help me sleep better at night, knowing that ass is in jail."

"I'm not making any promises, but I'll consider it."

"That's my girl!" Tom pecked my lips, but I quickly wrapped my arms around his neck, so he couldn't go anywhere. Tom's arms snaked around my waist and pulled me closer.

Just outside the door, my mom was beginning to get impatient.

"Did you tell her you were ready to go?" Bill asked. He, along with Carol, Gustav and Georg, wanted to say goodbye before I left and were now waiting in the hallway.

"Yes, about four or five minutes ago. She said she'd be right out."

Bill rolled his eyes and pounded loudly on our door. "Quit sucking each others faces off and hurry up!"

Bill just had to ruin it. Tom groaned and pulled away, a scowl was painted on his face. I was a bit annoyed to because we were getting close to how we were last night, and I wanted to try and get past that.

"Coming!"

"Yea right…" Bill mumbled.

"I guess I gotta go now…" I sighed and untangled my arms from around Tom's neck.

"Thank God it's only for a week." Tom said and grabbed my suitcase before I could.

"Seriously." I agreed and opened the door to be met with four grumpy faces. "Sorry for making you guys wait a whole FIVE minutes." I said in a sarcastic tone.

"It's only a week guys." Bill said bluntly. "You'll have plenty of time to 'get to know each other' a bit more when she comes back." Tom and I glared at Bill, who just gave us a cheeky smile.

Paparazzi followed my mom and I all the way to the airport, but thankfully weren't aloud inside. I just had to deal with the paparazzos in training, AKA the fans. They would come in large clusters to talk to me and get pictures, but were soon shooed away by the airport security. I was, of course, badgered about the picture and the rape, but I never commented about it. I would just act like I didn't hear it and compliment something a fan was wearing. Then that fan would say 'You really like it?' with wide eyes and then quickly tell me where they got it. Honestly, I didn't really care where they got it, because I didn't really like it. I bet I made their day.

The plane ride wasn't so bad. We had first class and there weren't that many seats that were occupied. Luckily, they were all adults and didn't give a rat's ass who I was.

***

_I'm a goofy goober! ROCK!_

_You're a goofy goober! ROCK!_

_We're all goofy goobers! ROCK!_

_Goofy goofy goober goober! ROCK!_

Carol was leaning against Bill's chest as they watched Spongebob rock out to Goofy Goober on the TV screen. Those shows had quickly become their favorite (it was already Carols), and were always seen watching it together. Carol tried not to laugh when Bill yelled "ROCK!" with Spongebob.

She mindless played with her long, waist length hair until she felt split ends and looked away from the TV.

"I need to cut my hair." She frowned and brought pieces of her hair closer to her face to inspect.

"Why?" Bill pulled his attention away from yellow sponge to look at her. "I think it's pretty."

Carol sighed. "It use to be, but it needs to be cut. It's too long and has too many split ends."

Bill took a piece of her hair and also inspected the ends. "I'm sure we can easily solve the split end problem."

"But it's too long." Carol said again. "I want it to be shorter."

"How short?"

"Like… four inches past my shoulder."

"Ooo!" Bill sat up excitedly. "Let me cut it!"

"What?"

"I want to cut your hair!" Bill was always up to play hairstylist.

"Well… I was just going to get it cut in California…."

"Aw come on! It will be fun! I'm good at it and I cut my own hair to!"

"I don't know Bill."

"Carol." Bill pouted. "Please?"

"But I trust my hair stylist back home." Carol tried not to sound mean.

"You… you don't trust me?" Bills eyes saddened.

"Of course I do!" Carol exclaimed. "It's just… my stylist has been cutting my hair for a while now. She knows what I like and… I really don't want to risk somebody else cutting it."

"Because you don't trust me." Bill stated sadly.

Carol moved off Bills chest and turned to him. "I said I trust you!"

"Then why won't you let me cut it?" Bill refused to look at Carol and found a sudden interest in his nails.

"Because. Ugh! You know what? Never mind." Carols eyes focused on Spongebob, but she wasn't really paying attention.

"No." Bill turned off the TV.

"Hey!" Carol grabbed for the remote, but Bill made sure she couldn't get it.

"I want to know why you don't trust me." Bill put the remote underneath him and sat on it

"I was watching that!" Carol attempted to push Bill over, but surprisingly, he wouldn't budge.

"You don't trust me?" The question was more started then asked.

"I told you. I _do_ trust you." Carol caught his chocolate eyes.

"Then show it."

"So if I let you cut my hair, then that proves I trust you? Hell no!"

"Obviously you don't then." Bill shrugged nonchalantly and took interest in his nails again.

"Oh come on Bill!" Carol was beginning to get frustrated. "Are we seriously arguing about this just because I won't let you cut my hair?"

"Yes!" Bill sat up straighter.

"This is stupid!"

"No it's not!" Bill shouted. "I need to know my girl friend trusts me!"

"Bill. Listen to yourself. We're arguing about how I won't let you cut my hair. This _is_ stupid!" Bill rolled his eyes. "You know I trust you. Stop trying to make something out of nothing."

"I'm not trying to make something out of nothing!" He crossed his arms like a child in time out.

"Yes you are!"

"Fine Carol." Bill suddenly got off the bed and headed to the door. "Why am I with you when you can't even trust me?"

"Stop being a drama queen Bill."

"I'm not being a drama queen! Ugh!" Bill flung the door open and stomped over to Tom's room.

"I swear that boy PMS's." Carol grabbed the remote and turned Spongebob back on, more then just a little ticked off at Bill's childness.

***

Unfortunately, there was Paparazzi waiting for me as soon as I walked out of the airport. Dawn and my security team met up with me at the entrance, and made sure I had a safe passage through the sea of photographers. We all piled into the limo that was waiting to take me back home. Dawn had thought the limo would be a much easier way of transporting security and my bags back to my house.

I laid my head on my mom's shoulder, tired from the long flight back from Germany. I didn't get much sleep on the plane because I was too busy trying to make up my decision about Sean.

Dawn quickly filled me in on what she did while I was in Germany. Apparently she put out a statement saying something like, 'All kids experiment at one time or another, and rest assured, Sadie Hawkins hasn't touched the stuff since. She is trying to remain a good role model for your kids, and in no way possible is she trying to get your kids to start doing drugs. Sadie regrets experimenting with it and is upset the picture came out. She is dealing with a lot as you guys know, and right now we are just asking for support from you guys.' It was pretty good I had to admit, but then she started to tell me what _she_ wanted me to do about the rape case. I tried to tune her out, but she noticed and made me pay attention. She told me what everyone else had. Get Sean's ass in jail.

The limo pulled up to my house and, of course, my house was swarmed with the media. I don't know how, but they found out I was coming home for a few days. As the limo came to a stop on the driveway, the media surrounded the vehicle, making it hard to get out. The security forced the door open and were the first ones out, and then Dawn, my mother and then I. I had put my sunglasses on right before exiting because I didn't want the media to see the annoyed expression in my eyes.

I glanced at the doorway to my house and saw a bunch of reporters and photographers surrounding someone. I squinted to see whom and almost gasped. Sean ignored the people around him and stared out at me. What the hell was he doing at my house?

I took a deep breath and nodded to the security that I was ready to be pulled through the media.

-------------------------------

Ok, so I kinda have bad news.

Because its nearing summer time, I'm getting busier all the time and I'm getting no sleep. I've never been so tired in my life as I have been for the last month.

As you guys know, my life is interfering with my story.

So I have decided that I will be posting **once** a week (**Tuesday nights**).

It's not like I'm quitting this story, because believe me, I _want_ to finish it so I can move onto the sequel *squeal*. So yes, I will be posting once a week instead of twice.

But since I said I would post this weekend, I'm going to try to get one up tomorrow after work. I'll also post this tuesday, but starting NEXT week, once a week postings.I'm sorry guys. I really do wish my life could just pause it self while I type a chapter up for you guys.

Maybe on RARE occasions, I'll be able to post twice a week. At least you have another night in the week to look forward to.

I really don't want to lose readers because of this. Don't leave me guys :(

-Debbie


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

"What are you doing here?" I demanded. I was standing in my big, secluded backyard with Sean. The media was still out in the front surrounding my house. I had dragged Sean, without so much as glancing at him, through my house and out to my backyard. The paparazzi had tried to stop me from getting through, but thanks to my awesome bodyguards, I was able to get away from them. Sadly, they had to fight the media again to get my bags from the limo. Thank God for bodyguards.

"We need to talk." Sean's hair was sticking every which way and his clothes looked a bit stressed. This was probably due to the mob outside of my home.

"About what? Didn't we talk in Germany?" I wasn't that scared to be alone in the backyard with him. Actually, we weren't really alone. Dawn, my mom, and one of my bodyguards was standing on the patio. Sean and I were a good 50-60 feet away from them. Like I said before. I had a big backyard.

"No." Sean blinked.

"Yes we did! I think I remember you being on Tom's tour bus and then you fricken raping me all over again!"

"I did NOT rape you again." Sean growled.

I crossed my arms. "It's nice to know that you actually admit to doing it all."

"Well who said I denied it?"

"I never said you denied it, but you never openly admitted to it." I paused. "Wait, what the hell are you doing here anyway? Aren't you supposed to be down at the station getting questioned?"

"That was yesterday and we're done. They told me I could go as long as I didn't leave 'the state of California' until this was all over with." Sean said with air quotes.

"Well what did they say?" I said impatiently.

"That I could go to jail for this." I smiled inwardly. "Something about how this is considered Statutory Rape and that I could go to jail for 6 months." Sean said non-chalantly. He looked like didn't care at all about the situation.

My jaw dropped. "Only 6 months?" I was expecting _way _longer then that. I was expecting _years._

"Psh yea. They said this is a misdemeanor and the maximum sentencing is 6 months. It's not like it matters though. I mean it's only 6 months." Sean with a shrug and I glared.

"Sean, you raped me. How is this considered a misdemeanor?" I balled my fists, trying not to explode.

"Because it's not a felony."

"But rape IS considered a felony!" I exclaimed.

"Apparently because I'm only about a year older then you and not three, they are calling it a misdemeanor."

"But-"

"If I was older then you by three years, then it's a felony." Sean chuckled. "Ya know I really am an idiot. I should have waited till you were eighteen, and then I wouldn't have to deal with all these legal issues. It really is annoying."

I glared Sean laughed lightly to himself about the situation. "How can you laugh about this? This is serious Sean!"

Sean rolled his eyes. "I know this is serious."

"Then act like it! Stop pretending that you don't care."

"But I really don't." Sean moved a little closer and whispered, "I don't care _what_ I did to you Sadie. In my eyes, you deserved it. Leading me on like that, tsk tsk, that's a terrible thing. Did you ever consider _my_ feelings? No, you didn't. You only cared about you, and that's how it's always has been and will always be. As far as I'm concerned, I'm glad I took away something that is so precious to you, that you can never get it back. I'm happy you're scared of Tom."

"If anything, it only helped make our relationship stronger." I said through gritted teeth.

"Sadly." He continued to whisper. "You know what I would love to do to you right now? I would love to fuck you again, and again, and again." I grew frozen listening. "I enjoy watching you in pain and knowing that you can't do anything to about it. In fact, you've been my favorite one so far." He'd done this to other girls? "Well, I never really raped them because they wanted it to, and I hated the fact that in order to _receive_ pleasure you had to _give_ pleasure to. Not my thing." I wondered what would be happening if Tom was here listening to Sean or if my mom, Dawn or the bodyguard heard. "Yes, you we're definitely the best."

Angry tears welled up in my eyes and I exploded. "Fuck you Sean!"

He gave a small little smirk. "You already did."

"Ugh!" I stomped down on the grass. "Why the hell are you here?! You said you needed to talk. Is this what you wanted to talk about?!" My bodyguard took a step towards me, but I waved him off. I could handle Sean; he hadn't laid a finger on me yet.

"No." Still had that stupid smug smile, but then it suddenly vanished. "I was actually hoping you could kinda go easy on me when you talk to the police."

"And why the hell should I do that?" I wiped the tears out of my eyes, careful of my makeup.

"Because you're a good person." My angry expression didn't change. "Look, because you're a celebrity and all, I was thinking they might raise the sentence…"

"What, is a year too long for you? I mean 6 months is nothing to you apparently. Why would a year be any different? Maybe it would be better for you, make you think about your actions lately."

"Sadie please-"

"Seriously Sean, why should I do this for you? You just told me about how I was your best fuck ever and you expect me to be nice about this to the cops? Ya right!" Like I would seriously try to make this situation easier for him.

Sean moved closer to me and clasped his hands together. "Please Sadie!"

"I thought you didn't care! I thought you said this was no big deal to you!" Sean frowned. "No. I'm not going to add anything, but I'm going to tell them exactly what I think and how I feel about it."

"So are you pressing charges then?" Sean looked scared. I couldn't understand how his mood had suddenly changed. A minute ago he was acting like a cocky jerk, and now…"

I thought for a moment before speaking. "Even if I didn't… they'd still find you guilty… Honestly, I don't care what happens to you. You're no longer important to me. You're just someone that keeps popping up in my life and I wish you'd leave." I'd finally made my decision. "Yes, I'm going to press charges. I have every right to, and I should."

"You bitch!" I saw his hand coming, but I didn't move fast enough. I felt the palm of his hand connect with my arm and I winced in pain.

"Hey!" My bodyguard decided to leave his post on the patio and ran over. He grabbed Sean, who immediately began to struggle, and pulled him towards the house.

"I could get you for that too!" I screamed at him, and surveyed the damages. He didn't hit me like super hard, so all that was there was a very red hand print that stung when you touched it.

"See if I care!" Sean shouted as he was dragged through the house.

"Well obviously you do if you had to come over and beg for me not to press charges!" By the time I finished my mom and Dawn had surrounded me, and were checking my arm.

"Are you ok sweetie?"

"I will not stand for this Sadie. Tomorrow we are settling this with the police."

"Thanks." I smiled weakly at the two of them. "Ya know, I just want to be alone and – mom, I'll be fine. Stop touching it. It only makes it sting."

***

I laid on my big, queen-sized bed, flicking through the channels on TV. My TV show was on and it reminded me that in just a few weeks, I would be shooting a few more episodes. I was happy about that. I missed playing Rose. I never realized playing a quirky character could be so fun, until I stopped playing her.

I was watching one of my beginning episodes and I was shocked to see how young I looked, not to mention how bad my acting sucked. I have gotten so much better in the past 3 years. Well, almost 3 years. I actually knew what I was doing. Now that I look back at this, I don't know why anyone even watched my show. It consisted of people with poor acting skills that barely knew how to interact with the other characters and objects. Yes, I'm definitely a pro now.

After my show had ended I quickly changed the channel. I did not want to watch that stupid show _The Replacements_. I mean, come on Disney, why would you make such a stupid show. There is a reason the only other time this show airs at midnight, and that reason is because it's lame.

I eventually decided to watch _TMZ. _It was basically a show that consisted of celebrity gossip or entertainment news. I only watched it when there was nothing on. Tokio Hotel and I were rarely on the channel. We didn't do anything that was news worthy, but lately I have become a regular feature. The screen showed Tom hugging me as I cried into his chest while the paparazzi surrounded us. He then started shouting, but quickly changed to me being dragged from the car, through the media, and into the hotel. I was basically watching a story the station was doing about me. They made me sound sad and helpless. I mean yea, it was sad that it happened to me, but I wasn't helpless. They suggested I go and talk to someone about my problems. What problems? The whole rape ordeal, or the fact that I smoked pot when I was 13? I didn't need to pay someone just to listen to me talk. That's what Tom's for.

***

"Bill, stop ignoring me." Carol was sitting in the hotel dining room having a late dinner with the boys. She was sitting across from Bill and had Georg and Gustav on either side of her. Bill glanced up from his pasta to meet Carol's eyes, but quickly focused on his food again. "Seriously, it's getting old." He continued to eat while Carol let out a loud frustrated sigh. It had been almost a full 24 hours and Bill was still being a pain in the ass.

"Tell me again what exactly you guys are fighting about?" Gustav adjusted his glasses that were slowly slipping down his nose.

Carol shrugged. "I just don't want him to cut my hair, and now he's acting all butt hurt about it."

"I'm sorry Bill, but come on, why are you upset? She just doesn't want you to cut her hair. Get over it." Gustav said, but Bill still refused to talk.

"He's only making a big deal out of this because he thinks Carol doesn't trust him." Tom pointed out for the Double G's.

"And I do trust him." Carol put in. "He's just acting like a baby."

"No I'm not." Bill mumbled and stirred the pasta around his dish with a fork.

"He speaks!" Georg exclaimed.

"Shut up." Bill frowned and then suddenly laid down his fork.

"You are acting a little bit like a baby." Tom began to smirk, but quickly stopped as he earned a glare from Bill.

"Seriously Bill, I don't want to have arguments about stupid stuff like this. If it makes you stop ignoring me I'll let you cut my hair." Carol honestly didn't want him.

"I don't want to." Bill pouted.

"Fine then." Carol inwardly sighed in relief.

Tom rolled his eyes. "Just get over it Bill."

"Tomi!"

"I'm serious." Tom grabbed his drink cup. "This is a stupid fight that can easily be resolved. Then we can all go about being happy again and you can be your weird, overly hyper self."

"Please Bill?" Carol tentatively said.

Bill's eyes met Carol for a moment before finally giving up. "Ok… I guess… but only if you let me help you choose what cut you're going to get."

Carol broke out in a smile "Fine by me!" She then got up and moved to the other side of the table. "Move Tom." He gave her a weird look but did what she said and sat down in what use to be her seat.

For the rest of the meal Bill and Carol sent each other flirty looks, which made the rest of the table roll their eyes.

***

I had just climbed into bed after a long evening of "mom and me" time, when my phone rang. I rolled over from my back and unhooked the cord that was charging my phone. "Hello?" I answered in a sleepy voice.

"Oh, did I wake you up?"

"Hey Tom. And no, you didn't." I smiled, happy to be talking to him. "I'm just tired."

"Well I can hang up and call you later if you want."

"No. I like talking to you." I then let out a loud yawn. "Ugh. Sorry… so what are you doing?"

Tom chuckled. "Trying to put my pants on and talk to you at the same time."

"That's hot Tom." I giggled, imagining him falling over while pulling his pants up. "I'd like to see that."

"Well, maybe someday you will." Tom said seductively. "Well, maybe not the part where I have a phone in my ear."

"Aw darn. I really only wanted to see the phone." I joked.

"Well if that's how it is, then goodbye Sadie."

"No! Don't leave me!" I knew Tom wasn't going to hang up on me.

"I guess I could stay on the line… just because you're so damn cute." Tom smiled. "Good. Mission accomplished."

"You got your pants on right?"

"Yea, oh wait. Damn! They're on backwards. Ugh, hold on." Tom laid the phone down on his bed, quickly stepping out of his pants and putting them on the right way. "There we go. I hope you didn't miss me too much."

"I tried not to. That whole 15 seconds was really a rather long wait." I said sarcastically. "So what are you doing up? It's only like nine in the morning their."

"We have interviews soon."

"So you call me?"

"Yea. I like talking to you. It brightens my day."

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**Sorry this chapter took so long to get out. I had a bit of trouble writing this one.**

**Tom and Sadie = 3 **


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

I went down to the police station the next morning to be questioned. The stupid media just had to follow me to the station. They were probably hoping something big and exciting would happen. All I would be doing is answering a few questions that the police wanted to ask me, nothing very exciting about that.

The whole ride to the station I couldn't stop thinking about that gray room with the one-way window. I have a tiny bit of claustrophobia, so I was afraid that it would act up right then. I don't know how people can stand being stuck in that tiny room. Being told to sit in a chair in the middle of the room and not being able to get up is not my kinda thing. Lucky for me, when I got there I was taken to one of their little offices instead of the scary, gray room.

In the beginning of our little chat I told them I wanted to press charges and they took that down. I felt strangely relieved having this finally taken off my chest. I told them, however, that I didn't want to testify against him in court. I just wanted to forget this whole matter and move on with my life. They said they would need me in court, but I told them about the tape. Why would they need me to talk about it? All they had to do was watch the tape. Do you know who embarrassing that would be? Having to stand up in front of the entire courtroom and describe every detail of what Sean did me would be mortifying. I could never do that. I did tell them exactly what happened right up until where Sean dragged me into his room. The tape showed the rest.

Oddly, they told me that was good enough. I wouldn't have to stand up in court over it. They said I had "special circumstances" because of who I was. I wasn't about to be humble and start preaching about how I'm just a normal person like them. Right now, I was glad to be a celebrity. I was told I would to be able to go about my life normally, except occasionally they would contact me about the situation. As long as I wasn't really involved in the court, I was completely ok with that.

I don't know why I disliked court so much. Maybe I don't like all the waiting around you have to do or how court is hardly a good thing. I mean, when does something good come out of court? Occasionally, some things do, but most of the time, no.

I was just settling into my nice, comfy couch with a big mug of hot chocolate, when my doorbell. I silently cursed hoping that it wasn't the media coming to ruin my perfect afternoon of television. I looked through the peephole and was surprised to see the person that was standing there. I sat my hot chocolate on the little table and opened the door. "Nick?" Standing in front of me was Nick Jonas.

He gave a small wave. "Hi Sadie."

It had been almost 8 months since I had last seen him, and gosh, the boy was definitely developing into a heartthrob. At least for me anyway. I heard that girls had crushes on him since he was 13, but not me. I wasn't into the super skinny, Ed Hardy wearing Nick Jonas. But this Nick Jonas mmm... I could get use to. "Hey uh… can I help you?"

"Is it cool if I come in? The paparazzi stalked me here and… here they come!" I opened the door wider so Nick could squeeze in. I managed to get the door closed just as the flashes started going off. "Thanks."

I nodded. "Did you want something?"

Nick shrugged. "Just wanted to talk. Haven't seen you in a while, since you've been in New Zealand and stuff."

"Right…" I wasn't too sure why he was really here. I mean he never talked to me before. Well he did, but rarely. Watch, we're probably going to be on the front of all the tabloids as they publish the fact that Nick Jonas was at my house. "Uh… I was just having hot chocolate, want some?"

"Sure."

I led the way into my kitchen with the lovely island in the middle. When I was younger, I told my mom that when I was older I wanted a kitchen with an island. I got my wish. I poured him a cup and handed it to him.

"Thanks."

I leaned against the island and stared at Nick. "Why are you really here?"

Nick took a sip of his drink. "Excuse me?"

"Why are you here? Honestly Nick, you never cared about me enough before to stop by my house. I don't even get phone calls or text messages from you." I wasn't angry if that's what it sounded like.

"Do I need a reason to stop by my fellow Disney star's house?" Nick smiled.

"Yes." I sent him a blank look.

"Ok, well one of the reasons is because I wanted to see if you were ok, because of the whole… Sean thing." I raised an eyebrow. "I'm serious! Disney stars should check up on each other. We're all in the same business ya know."

"True, but yes I'm fine. Completely annoyed with whole situation, but I'm fine."

"Awesome. So how's Bill, Tom, Carol…" Nick trailed.

"That's why you're here!" The light bulb snapped on in my head. "You're here about Carol!" Nick stayed silent as his eyes met the floor. I smiled. "Is there something you want to know about Carol?"

"Is she um… is she with Bill?" It came out hesitant.

I knew it! "Mhmm. Don't you read or watch anything the media puts out?"

"Well yea, but the media is known to stretch the truth."

"True, but she really is with Bill. Has been for quite some time now actually." I paused to think. "Like… I think it was before I left… Yea! I think they got together right before the premiere for your movie."

"Oh… really…"

"Yup! They seem like a happy couple to me." I was enjoying the sad look on his face. It looked pitiful, but cute at the same time. Don't ask me why, because I don't know why.

"I better be going then…" Nick set the mug down on the counter.

"You came all the way over here, from Bel Air, just to ask about Carol's relationship status?"

"Yea. Stupid huh?" Nick's face was turning a pale pink.

"Why didn't you just call her and ask her yourself?"

"Because I lost it that night at the club, so that's why I came over here."

"To get Carols number." I stated.

"Yea."

"Why didn't you just call me?"

"Because I wanted to see if you were all right." He did look honest enough.

"Like I said earlier, I'm fine, but thanks for being concerned." I smiled. "Do you still want Carols number? I'm sure she'd love to hear from you. Ya know, you use to be her celebrity crush, maybe you still are." I winked.

"But she has Bill."

"Yea, but she doesn't see him as a celebrity. She sees him as her boyfriend that happens to be in the biggest band in Germany."

"So you're saying she still has a crush on me?"

"Maybe." I shrugged and couldn't help but smile at the joy on Nick's face. "But as her celebrity crush though"

"Awesome. Yea I'll take her number then."

I wrote on the nearest piece of blank paper and handed it to Nick, who folded up and put it neatly in his pocket. I prayed that I wasn't giving him false hope about him and Carol. I was just trying to make the boy feel better.

"Thanks Sadie. You're the best." Nick gently hugged me. "I'll see you later?"

"Yea." I said and walked with him to the door.

"I'll text you or call you or whatever."

"Cool. See ya." I smiled as Nick opened the door. Of course, the paparazzi were still here, blinding Nick and I with their flash bulbs.

***

"Dawn said I could go to back to Germany tomorrow night!" I said excitedly over the phone with Tom.

"Already? You got things cleared up that fast?" Tom was sitting in the tour bus eating cereal as he was on the phone.

"Yea! The police said I didn't need to attend court and that they would just call me if they needed to talk to me." I picked up the last of my dirty clothes and threw them in my basket that I was taking downstairs into my laundry room.

"Really?" He slurped some of the cereal. "That's weird."

"I know right?" I managed to balance the basket perfectly on my hip as I walked down the stairs. "Oh well. I'm happy I'm going back to Germany to see you!"

"Yea, it's been hard without you here."

"Whatever. Shut up Tom." I thought he was just being sarcastic.

"No really, it has. Well, maybe not hard, but… I felt like I just got you back, and then you left me again."

"Really?"

"Yea. I miss when you're not here." I heard a chorus of 'Awws' in the background and then some snickering. "Shut up!"

"Are they making fun of you Tom?" I smiled, happy that Tom missed me and also because I successfully made it down the stairs with the basket and clothes still in tact.

"Yea…" He blushed and turned away from the guys.

"Well I really miss you too." I said sincearly.

"You're not the first girl I heard say that." I rolled my eyes, as he just had to ruin the moment. "When does your flight come in?"

***

Carol leaned against Bill's chest while watching the guys mess around with their instruments. The guys were in their room practicing a new song they had just come up with the other day.

"Didn't you guys just put a new album?"

"Yea, but that doesn't mean the creativity stops there." Bill said and kissed Carols neck.

Carol turned around in Bill's arm. "Oh really?"

"Uh… yea." Bill was unsure of what Carol was doing, but was completely fine with it when she leaned in and kissed him. He then got excited and pulled her closer, already running his hands through her hair.

Not even 5 seconds into it the other guys were groaning. "Oh my God… get a room!"

Bill pulled away with a smug smile. "Don't be hatin' guys. I'm sure you'll all get this type of attention eventually.

Tom scoffed. "What are you talking about? I already get it!"

"With Sadie? I'm surprised she gives you any attention at all." Georg laughed.

"What's there to be surprised about? I'm Tom Kaulitz, sex god of the world." Tom stated proudly and put his hands on his hips. "Every chick wants me."

"Sure." The room rolled their eyes.

"You don't have to be so obvious about how jealous you are." Tom smirked and lightly plucked the strings of his guitar.

"Oh!" Carols pocket started to vibrate. "No ID..." She frowned looking at her phone. "Hello?

"Carol?"

"Yea?"

"It's Nick."

"Nick?"

"Nick Jonas."

Carols eyes widened. "Nick Jonas?"

"Yea."

"Oh… Hi!" Nick was the last person Carol was expecting to call her.

"Can you talk?"

"Um… I'm kind of with… my boyfriend right now." Carol glanced at Bill who already glaring at the phone. Bill never really became a fan of Nick after the whole theater incident.

"Oh… so you really are with him."

"Yea. I am."

"That's too bad."

"Why?"

"Because I heard I was and still am your celebrity crush."

Carol frowned. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Just wondering, would you dump your boyfriend if you knew your celebrity crush… had a crush on you?"

"Give me the phone!" Bill said angrily and grabbed it out of Carol's hand.

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Sorry if there are any grammar mistakes. I'm REALLY tired. Thank you to ALL the lovely reviews guys. They seriously mean a LOT to me!

5 more chapters then sequel! What could possibly happen in 5 chapters… ;)


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41**

I took an early morning flight back to Germany because I didn't feel like dealing with the fans, and there are less people flying out.

After Nick left my house, it was the same old, same old. Every time I left my house, the paparazzi were around.

It got especially crazy when I ended up bumping into Joe Jonas in my neighborhood. I was just rounding the corner in my car, towards my house, when I saw him walking Nick's dog, Elvis. He, of course, had photographers following, snapping dozens of photos of him and the dog. I waved to him and parked my car in my driveway. I then walked back out to where Joe was to say hi. It had been a while since I had seen him.

We went in for a quick hug and even more flashes went off. I bet the paparazzi were having a field day! First Nick shows up at my house, and then I go and meet Joe outside of it. Joe took out his cell phone and quickly texted me, asking if I wanted to join him for dinner. He would have just asked it out loud, but the paparazzi were shouting and yelling so we could barley hear each other. I happily joined him at nearby restaurant, where we joked, laughed and told stories about our lives in the past several months. I regretted not spending any time with the Jonas' up until now. So far, the guys seemed pretty rad.

As soon as we left the restaurant, the media was back in our faces as we headed towards Joe's car.

"Sadie! Sadie!" "How are you feeling right now, since you can't be with Tom?" "Is Joe a replacement until you get back to Germany with Tom?" "Are you and Tom finally an item?" "What about that Sean guy? Do you regret not pressing charges sooner?" "Will Tom be upset to see that you are with Joe?"

I ignored all their stupid questions and concentrated on getting to my care safely, with Joe by my side. "Ugh. I can't believe we have to deal with this everyday," I groaned and pulled out of the parking lot. Joe sat in my passenger seat.

"I agree. I mean, we're just normal people. There's nothing really exciting about us."

I dropped Joe off at his house, which was about a block away from mine, and told him to call me anytime to hang out. He was a cool dude. Didn't try to make moves or annoy me. He was just a nice guy. He gave me a quick hug before exciting the car, which I'm sure, the stupid paparazzi caught on film.

***

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Bill said angrily into Carols phone.

"Is this Bill?" Nick asked.

"No shit. Are you trying to steal my girlfriend?"

"What the heck? No!"

"Then why the _hell_ would you call and ask her if she would dump me, her boyfriend, if she knew that you had a crush on her?" Carol leaned away from him so he could sit up.

"I just wanted to know –"

"Can you just back the fuck off?! She has a boyfriend, and that's ME thank you very much!"

"Well it wasn't _your_ name she screamed in the theater was it?"

"She didn't mean to! If she wanted to be with you, then I'm sure she would be with you right now and not here with me sucking face."

"Bill!" Carol slapped his arm, not very hard though. Just more like 'Don't tell him that!' He ignored her and waited for Nick to respond.

"Please! You probably forced yourself on her!"

"What the fuck? Are you kidding me? I would NEVER do that to her. You're the one who probably does that! I mean, you go through girls like water. No wonder they end up leaving you."

"Have you forgotten who you're talking to _Kaulitz_?" Nick said.

"No I haven't, _Jonas. _Doesn't mean it's not true."

" It doesn't even matter if it's true or not. I don't _want _Carol. She's the one who wants me!"

"What?!" Bill laughed. "You think Carol actually wants to go _out, _with a guy like you?"

"She seemed to when she kissed me."

"Excuse me?"

"Yea. She kissed me at the after party for our premiere." Nick said proudly.

"What?!" Carol shrieked and grabbed the phone. "When the hell did I do that?"

"Come on Carol, you remember. It was when Bill was ignoring you and you were dancing with me."

"No I don't! And NO, that NEVER happened!" Carol exclaimed. Bill turned to look at Carol with a questioning expression.

"Yes, remember-"

"Shut up Nick!" Carol yelled so Nick couldn't talk. "That NEVER happened. I never kissed you! All you got from me that night was my number. Which, by the way, you never called."

"See Bill, I think your girlfriends into me." Nick smirked from his end of the line.

"Can you please just shut the fuck up," Bill had the phone again, "Or better yet hang up?"

"She is just going to deny-" Bill pushed _End_ before Nick finished the rest of his sentence.

"You kissed Nick?" He asked sadly.

"I think I hear my drums hitting themselves…" Gustav whispered and stood up. They had been sitting in the corner watching the spat, and Gustav decided they had seen enough.

"What do you mean?" Georg asked. "Drums can't hit themselves…"

Tom rolled his eyes. "He means that we should go."

"Oh… right. I know that." Georg smiled and left with the other two.

"Hell no! He's just making that up!" Carol yelled.

"Then why would he say that?"

"He's obviously trying to make you jealous, and I hope it's not working."

"Carol…" Bill paused. "How am I supposed to believe you?"

"You seriously are asking me that? Oh my god! You are going to believe something that Nick Jonas _said?_! You have no proof of it even happening!"

"Well I don't know what to believe!" Bill exclaimed.

"What the hell? Just a few minutes ago we were making out and everything was fine. Then friken Nick Jonas has to call and tell you that I kissed him!"

"You screamed that you loved him in the movie theatre!"

"That was like MONTHS ago! Who cares?"

"I do!"

"Why? We weren't even really together at the point." Carol crossed her arms. "All I knew was that you liked me. No one ever said the relationship couldn't be open!"

Bill pointed a finger at her. "So you do admit to kissing him!"

"No!" Carol let out a loud sigh. "I never even said that.

"You don't have to admit to it! It's obvious! You are having a secret relationship with Nick!"

"What the fuck?!" Her eyes bugged. "Where the hell did you come up with that?"

"Oh please. I'm sure you've been sneaking behind my back."

"No, I-"

Bill interrupted, "You easily could have been when I was recording. I see the way you look at him every time he's on TV… I can't believe I thought that you could be faithful…"

"Will you listen to yourself? All because of one of stupid phone call from Nick, you're questioning our relationship!"

"I'm not questioning it!"

"Yes you are!"

"Well I have every right to be! I never knew I had such a trampy girlfriend!" Bill screamed.

"Don't you _ever_ call me a tramp! I'm the furthest thing from it!" Carol growled and leaned over to shove him.

Bill reacted quickly by shoving her back, but so hard she actually fell off the bed and hit her arm against the point on the dresser.

His eyes widened as he realized what he had just done and scrambled across the bed and onto the floor. "Are you ok?" He asked and tried to examine the arm that had been hit, but Carol roughly pulled it away from him. Tears had formed in her eyes, and there was already a bruise the size of a half dollar, shadowing her arm.

"Don't touch me!" She exclaimed and Bill was taken a back by her reaction. Immediately standing up, she headed to the door, turning back to say one last thing to Bill. "Maybe we shouldn't be together. I mean, all you do is bitch about stupid things and then make stuff up in you head that you believe to be true. You don't even stop to get all the facts. Maybe Nick _would_ be better for me."

***

As soon as the hotel came into view, the butterflies in my stomach started to flap their wings. It had only been a few days, but it was a few days too long since I had seen Tom. All I wanted to do now was spend time with him and nothing else. Screw acting, personal appearances, and autographs. I wanted Tom and that was all. Well maybe not screw all that stuff… Without it, I probably would have never met Tom.

I arrived on the floor that my hotel room was on and was heading to it, when I heard pounding on a door.

"Come on Carol! Open up!"

I rounded the corner to see Bill pounding his fists on Tom's door, shouting for Carol. Tom then opened the door and stepped out, shutting the door behind him. "Give it up Bill. She obviously doesn't want to talk to you right now."

"But I-"

"Just come back later ok? She may be ready to talk to you then, but right now… nothing is going to make her come out."

"What's going on?" I asked, the boys jumping slightly at the sound of my voice.

"Sadie!" Tom moved past Bill and quickly pulled me into his arms. I buried my face in his chest and hugged him back.

"Hi Sadie…" Bill said glumly and turned in the direction of his room.

I slightly pulled away from Tom, my arms still around him, "Bill, what's wrong?" He shrugged with a sigh and entered his room without saying a word.

"He and Carol got in a fight." Tom answered for Bill.

"What happened?" I looked up into his face and fought the incredible urge to kiss him. There would be time for that later.

"Apparently Nick Jonas called with this idea that Carol still had a crush on him," Uh oh. "And I guess told Bill that she kissed him and that made him angry. I left the room, but Bill told me that he called her a tramp, which he shouldn't have done. The idiot… anyway he called her a tramp and she shoved him. I guess he didn't know his own strength and shoved her back so hard that she was pushed off the bed and jammed her arm into the bedside table." By now my mouth was hanging slightly a jar. "I'm not proud of the way my little brother handled things at all."

"Are you serious?" I couldn't believe that Bill had… actually _pushed_ Carol. I didn't know that Bill was possible of this. To think that a little shove could result in this.

"Yea… honestly I think the whole shoving thing wasn't that big of a deal, but the fact that Bill even did that is what upset Carol."

"Oh my… Why is she in your room?"

"Well…" Tom flicked his head back, trying to get the dreadlocks off his shoulder, but ended up having them lightly slap my face. "Oh sorry…. Heh… Umm because my door was the first door she saw opened after she left Bills room. So now she is sitting on my bed with a bag of ice on the bruise, complaining how much it hurts. Bit of a drama queen, just like Bill, but maybe that's why their perfect for each other."

"Maybe…" I sighed. "I feel like this is my fault though."

"Why?" Tom's arms tightened around my waist slightly.

"Because…" I explained what had happened, trying not to leave anything.

"Hey, you can't blame yourself for this mess. You didn't know that by trying to cheer up the Jonas boy, this would happen."

"No I didn't… It's just hard to believe ya know? Nick doesn't seem like the guy to start shit like this but…"

"Everybody's different off camera." Tom finished and kissed the top of my head. "Let's go for a walk."

"Now? It's like two in the morning." There was a delay at the airport. They lost my luggage so I had to wait for them to find it, and that took hours.

"Perfect time right? Everybody should be home asleep, dreaming about how sexy I am." Tom smirked.

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, Tom."

"My sexiness does help me sleep." Tom said coyly.

I laughed and shook my head. "Yea ok, but wait. I think I should go to the two, or at least one of them. Ya know, explain how this whole thing started."

"Naw, let them work this out first. They may have another fight like this again, and next time they might be able to work it out faster."

"I guess…"

Tom let me go. "Come one, I know this great place near the hotel."

"Think we can leave undetected?" I'm sure it would look suspicious if two young very famous stars walked out of a hotel at two in the morning together.

"Yea. All hotels have emergency exits on each floor."

"Aren't they for emergencies?"

"Yea, but there's no alarm because people take them all the time." Tom held out his hand. "Come on."

"Um… ok…" I took his hand, deciding to trust him and risk getting caught by the paparazzi. I just wanted to be with him and if that mean we had to be careful and inconspicuous, then so be it.

We walked about a quarter of a mile away from the hotel and that's when I saw a beautiful sight. It was a flower garden lit up with stringed lights that hung in the trees that loomed over. Every once in a while there would be a small fountain, surrounded by white Lilly's, with a marble angel in the middle.

"Oh my… it's beautiful…" I was absolutely mesmerized by the sight. There were so many different kinds of flowers; I couldn't even count them all.

"Yea… I found it this morning." He led me onto a little cobble stone path that ran all through out the garden. We ended up walking out onto a white, wooden bridge that stood over a small stream, and stopped there. A few lanterns that lit up the bridge, hung from the trees that surrounded it.

I turned away from the sight and smiled, "I love it Tom."

He looked pleased and then suddenly took off his jacket and put it around my shoulders. "It's cold outside. You need a jacket."

"But what about you?"

"I'm a man. I'll be fine." He said non-chalantly, but I knew better.

"Men…" I laughed and placed a hand on Tom's chest as he pulled me close again until our bodies touched. "Thank you for bringing me here."

"Anytime." He gazed into my eyes and the next thing I know, I'm getting my long awaited kiss. I trembled from the cold outside and from the way he set his hands on my lower back. He placed them just right. I was very sensitive to the touch and trembled whenever someone touched me there. Tom held me up me up by pulling me even closer to him, and believe me, I had no problem with that.

My hands eventually worked their way up his chest and around his neck. I could feel my hormones start to race and I shivered even more when he lowered his hands even further, and slipped them into my back pockets. I stood on my tippy toes, just trying to get enough of him, but I couldn't. I wanted more of him, well not _all _of him, but definitely more. Our tongues collided with each other's and I gently tugged against his lip ring. Things began to heat up and I could tell that Tom was beginning to get excited. Actually I could _feel_ it. That only excited me more.

"Hey! I think they're over here!" I heard a mans voice yell. Tom and I jumped, quickly pulling apart to look around. In the distance, past a few trees, there were some men with cameras in their hands.

"Shit!" Tom cursed and grabbed my hand, pulling me off the bridge and into the shelter of some trees. "What the hell are they doing out here right now?"

"I guess they'll stop at nothing to get a picture of you." I whispered.

"Us. To get a picture of us." Tom corrected. "They must have seen us leave… ugh…"

The group of five middle aged men, ran onto the bride and looked around. "I could have sworn I saw them!"

"Well you just had to yell and you probably scared them off!"

"They're here. I know they are."

After climbing a tree, with the help of Tom pulling me up, the paparazzi finally left after fifteen minutes of searching. Thank God they didn't find us. There would be no way to explain what that was about.

On our short walk back to the hotel, those butterflies that I was talking about earlier, accumulated and there were even more. I was just so happy to be with Tom and prayed that nothing could tear us apart.

---------------------------------

**Hey guys! I posted a day early! **

**Because I need to have this story completed in the next 3 weeks (going on a short vacation) I'm going to try and post at least twice a week. You'll have another one towards the end of the week.**

**Tom and Sadie… Oo la la ;) **


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42**

Carol spent the night on the floor of our room. Because of the fight with Bill, she didn't want to be anywhere near him. Tom was upset that Carol was staying the night. He wanted to continue what we had started outside. Actually, at one point he did try to continue it.

I lay next to him in our bed, clad in his awesome smelling shirt and baggy, basketball shorts that I had grown to love. Carol was asleep on the floor in front of the TV. "Did she actually fall asleep already?"

Tom crawled to the end of the bed and peered over it. "Yup." He smiled and crawled back, cuddling close to me.

"Tom…" I gave him a knowing look while he gave me a coy one. "We can't-" His lips met mine as his hand slid under me to the small of my back, gently massaging it. "Tom…" I moaned, trying to pull away, but felt him smile and hold me tighter.

"Please tell me you guys are not having sex up there." Said a dull voice at the end of the bed.

Tom pulled away and glared in her direction and then whispered, "Does she _have_ to stay with us?"

"I don't have anywhere else to go." Carol had gotten up on her knees and was now leaning on our bed against her elbows.

"Um… how about you stay with my brother?" Tom said in annoyance and pushed himself up so he could lean against the head board.

"Umm… how about no? He's the whole reason why I'm in here." Carol said. "Believe me, I do not want to be in here where I can hear you two mess around."

"Why don't you stay with Georg?" Tom suggested.

"Psh no."

"Gustav?"

"No. I don't know those two, like I know you."

"Right now I wish you didn't know me…" Tom grumbled and crossed his arms in a child like manner.

"Tom." I rolled my eyes up at him.

"What? She's interrupting us!"

"It's only for one night-"

"It better be for only one night!"

"Well… that's if Bill and I make up."

"Here's an idea. Why don't you two make up now!" Tom shot out of bed and walked to the door that connected our rooms, and started to pound on the door. "Bill! Bill wake up!"

I looked at our bedside clock. "It's 2:30 in the morning!"

He didn't care. "Bill, come on! Wake up!"

"What?!" Came a yell only moments later and then the door opened to reveal a very um… lovely Bill. He looked tired with bloodshot eyes and hair sticking up everywhere. A scowl was painted across his face.

Tom surveyed him. "Bill you look awful. You should really work on your beauty sleep."

Bill continued to scowl and added a glare to it. "What do you want?"

Tom smiled. "I think you and Carol should make up."

"No." Bill said and slammed the door; a locking sound followed.

"Guess I'm sleeping here tonight." Carol said.

"Can't you sleep outside?"

"Tom!" I gasped and threw a pillow at him.

He caught it before it hit him. "What?"

"How about we all just go sleep?"

Carol stood up with her blanket and pillow in hand. "Maybe I will sleep outside."

Tom smiled, but I quickly erased it. "No. We are all just going to go to sleep and forget who we are sharing a room with."

"But Sadie…" Tom whined.

"You act like this is the only night we have together." I laughed, but was hit in the face by the pillow I had thrown at Tom. "Hey!"

"One night Carol." Tom mumbled and crawled back into bed beside me. "One night."

"Why thank you so much Tom!" Carol said sarcastically and laid back down on the floor.

"Whatever." I shook my head with a smile at Tom's antics. I love this boy. I turned off the only light that was on, the table lamp, and quickly leaned in and kissed Tom on the cheek.

***

The next day the boys spent their time with interviews and such. Carol and I just stood by and watched. Well… Carol acted like she didn't care, but I knew she did. I mean, how could you _not_ care about Bill Kaulitz. I may be super into his brother, but there was no way that I didn't have a mini crush on Bill. That doesn't mean I would like to date him or anything! I just think he's cute and adorable, and a very interesting guy.

At breakfast and lunch, Bill sat by himself, like a loner, because "I don't want to be sitting at the table with _her_." Seriously, the boy needed to get over it. Carol didn't make it any better by saying "Well, I don't want to be in the same room with him." But we made her stay and eat with us anyway. The rest of us just rolled our eyes and continued to eat, not letting their bad moods bother us.

"I think I'm going to stay on the bus tonight." Carol said, slumping into one of the many couches on the tour bus. The boys were inside the venue for sound check.

"Why? We always watch the shows."

"Yea, but… I don't know. I'm just not feeling it right now."

"Please don't say this has anything to do with Bill." I took a quick swig of my Redbull.

"It doesn't."

"We said we would support the boys no matter what. Don't let a stupid fight with Bill break that." I said, completely ignoring what she had said.

"It wasn't stupid!"

"Yes it was. Come on, every one knows that Bill gets jealous quickly." Carol pretended to study her nails. "At least we know the boy cares about you!"

"Bull shit! He pushed me! Off the bed! Look!" She held out her arm and pointed to a purple bruise that had formed. "What boy really cares about his girl and then pushes her?"

"Umm…" I paused. "A lot of them?"

"No." Carol shook her head and then exclaimed, "Hey!" She jumped out of her seat and then ran in the direction of the exit.

"What are you doing?" Ah… Redbull is amazing. Just about as amazing as Monster is.

"Hold on." She raced down the stars and within seconds I could hear her rummaging around in the luggage department, outside of the bus. A minute later she was back and held a white stick in her hand. "Here."

"A pregnancy test?" I questioned, but then it hit me. "Oh!" I grabbed the stick and swiftly walked to the bathroom. "Perfect timing. The Redbull was starting to get to me."

"I know." She smiled. "I'm just good like that."

I stripped my pants off and stared at the white stick. This was it. This was the day that I would _really_ know if I was pregnant or not. This was the day my life could change, or stay the same. The day I would see that my adult hood was swiftly approaching, or I could hold onto my child hood. I couldn't believe I had forgotten about something so important. I mentally smacked myself and got ready to do my business with the test.

"The results are in." I said a few minutes after taking the test, still standing in the bathroom.

"And?"

"And…" I breathed deeply and opened the door to show Carol the test. "It's a negative!"

Carol squealed happily and hugged me. "Thank God! The last think you need is a baby!"

"Amen!" I heartily agreed and couldn't wait to tell Tom the good news.

----------------------------

Sorry if it wasn't amazing or anything, and kind of short. But at least it's an update. I plan on my next update being this week and longer. Some drama too. You guys are AMAZING and THANKS for sticking with me and continuing to read this! I liebe dich :)


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 43**

Instead of watching the concert and supporting the boys, Carol decided to stay in the bus and watch movies. I reminded her that she was only mad at one member of the band, but she replied by saying that because she was mad that ruined the whole concert for her. She would have preferred to be at the hotel, but right after the concert we would be on our way to the next city.

Bill wasn't at his best tonight. The stupid fight with Carol was affecting his performance. He hasn't been hyper and excited lately. It was a nice change, but when it affected his career, it was never a good thing. I explained to him that he should just make up with Carol, but he decided to be immature about the situation and not talk to Carol. Come on, we're all adults here right? I mean well… I'm _almost _an adult. Only 3 more months till I'm the big one, eight.

I had to sleep in Tom's bunk (which I totally did not mind of course) because Carol was tired of sleeping on the couch. She threw this huge hissy fit which resulted in me giving my bunk up to her and Bill muttering something about it being her time of the month. Carol heard and yelled that just because a girl is upset does not mean it's her time of the month. Bill just rolled his eyes and left the sitting area, heading to the second level of the bus.

So I was left to sleep with Tom (not like that you pervs, get your mind out of the gutter), which as I stated above, was fine with. As much as I liked to be near him, it was just _way_ too cramped. In one of those bunks it could fit one person comfortably, but two people… it was a bit cramped, Tom and I had to like snuggle _super_ close to be able to stay on the bunk. Well, no matter what I would stay on. He gave me the wall, because if we hit a bump or anything, he'd rather he fall out then me. I love this boy.

Tom was falling asleep, as we had just got comfortable when I whispered his name. "Tom."

His eyes blinked open. "Hm…"

"I'm not pregnant."

He suddenly woke up completely. "Wait what?"

"Well… because of that whole Sean thing…"

"Oh my God!" Tom said in a loud whisper. "I never even thought of that being a possibility!"

"Yea well… we don't have to worry about it anyway. I got lucky this time."

"Thank God. I wouldn't want you to have the spawn of the devil."

"Amen." I giggled. "How long till we get to the hotel?"

"Bus driver said a few hours, but if we're going to get sleep, we should do it now."

"Aren't we going to have time at the hotel?"

"Not really." Tom yawned. "By the time we get there, it will be almost 4:30 in the morning and we have to be up and dressed by eight."

"Interviews right?" I snuggled in as close as possible and lay my head on his chest.

"You and me both."

"Great…"

"They aren't _that_ bad." Tom smiled and rested his head on mine.

"No… but I'd rather be asleep."

"Well then let's do that. Right now."

"Fine by me." I yawned, but let out an even bigger one then the one Tom just had. "Good night."

"Gute nacht…" Tom whispered and fell into dreamland beside me.

**~4 months later~**

"Ah I missed you!" Carol ran the few feet left between her and Bill and pulled him into a kiss. You're probably wondering why they are kissing. Well… the two _finally_ decided to grow up and make up with each other. That was about 3 months ago. So yes, Georg, Gustav, Tom and I had to go through another month of the two fighting, but it all worked out in the end.

Oh guess what! Well, actually I'll relay the scene to you. It happened two months ago, after a Tokio Hotel concert in Leipzig…

"_Amazing concert as usual." I said as the boys piled into the small green room. "But of course the sexy guitarist was the best." Tom grinned and pulled me into a sweaty hug. "Eww!" I laughed, pulling away._

"_You know you like it." Tom smiled and tried hugging me again._

"_No. Eww!" I teased and backed up. I had been on the road with the guys for about two months, watching them perform and giving my own interviews, but now it was time I head back home. I was leaving tomorrow, and the boys wouldn't be able to come back out to California for two months. They still had a bunch of concerts to play all over Europe. I didn't want to leave him for two months, but that was nothing compared to the seven I was gone. The next two months I would be filming my TV show, Rose of Respet, in LA right before I went back out to promote my film Hearts on Fire._

"_Hey." Tom gently took my hand and led me to a corner with a small couch. He sat down normally so I decided to sit on my legs, to be different ya know. "So… I wanted to ask you something."_

_I raised an eyebrow, "And that is?"_

"_Well… you know how we are kinda together and kinda not?"_

"_Yea…"_

_His voice lowered. "I was sort of hoping we could make it official…"_

_My eyes widened. "Are you asking…" _

"_Would you um…" He looked down shyly. "Would you be my girlfriend?"_

"_Yes!" I exclaimed and tackled him with a full-blown kiss. Tom was taken by surprise at first, but quickly relaxed. "Are you serious?" I said as soon as I pulled away._

"_Yes." Tom laughed and I went in for another kiss. "I thought I was too gross for you."_

"_I don't care!" I didn't want to hear him talk. I just wanted to kiss him. I could feel Tom smile as he wrapped his arms around my small waist. "I've only… been waiting… forever… for you... to ask… me that!" I said between kisses._

"_Did Tomi finally get the guts to ask you to be his girlfriend?" I looked over to see Bill and the rest of the gang smirking._

"_Psh ya! Only took him forever!" I laughed and sat back down on my legs, giving Tom space to breath._

"_Well sorry! I'm not use to asking girls if they want to be my girlfriend! Normally it's just 'would you like to join me in my hotel room' and that's it!" Tom exclaimed. "Forgive me for being a little nervous."_

_I looked at him with surprise. "Did you think I would actually say no?"_

"_I don't know…" Tom shrugged._

"_Well I didn't." I grinned and moved so I could be sitting right next to him._

"_So I take it you're happy then?"_

"_More then happy. Ecstatic!" I layed my head on his shoulder as the others began to laugh._

"_You look like a little kid who just heard that Christmas is coming early this year." Gustav said._

"_Well Christmas did come early!" I turned to Tom and kissed him on the check._

"_Aww… Tom is actually taken…" Carol smirked. "What will the press say now? More importantly, what will the fan's say…"_

"_They won't say anything because they won't find out." Tom took my hand. "Look, I don't want anything to happen to Sadie. I wonder how you're even still alive Carol. I think it would be better, if we didn't let the press know. Just let it be a secret between us, and no one else."_

"_Not even mom or Gordon can know?" Bill asked._

"_Well obviously they can." Tom rolled his eyes. "But yea… this is on the down low."_

"_Fine by me." I couldn't stop grinning at the boy. Finally, I could actually say that I was Tom Kaulitz's girlfriend and that Tom Kaulitz was my boyfriend! Obviously I couldn't go around blabbing that, but it sure did make the butterflies accumulate 100 times more._

That's right! I was now officially Tom Kaulitz's girlfriend! I get excited everytime I say that, which is not very often, sadly. There wasn't much that we could do to celebrate it, because if we went out to dinner people would spot us, and we couldn't talk about it or act like one. So instead Tom and stayed up all night eat and talking, and doing various "other" things. Just in case you guys are wondering, I'm still a proud virgin. I was super surprised that when I stopped and didn't want to go further, Tom was able to restrain himself and forget about his "needs." Tom totally, and completely respected me and my wishes to wait. Not wait forever, but just for a little longer. Which I'm sure he didn't, but he acted like it.

So yea, it's been about two months since the last time I saw him and now I was seeing him again!

Tom walked out of the terminal, looking very tired, but his eyes lit up when he saw me. I ran over to him and gave him a big hug, telling him how much I missed him as the flashes went off. No matter where we go, there will always be paparazzi or paparazzi in training. I made sure to make it look like a friendly hug, and not anything more then that. I was really not up to dealing with stupid rumors and then having to deny every one of them. Even though, technically, it wasn't a rumor at all. It was a fact.

Right now though, I was standing in the recording studio with the Jonas Brothers at Hollywood Records. Carol and I would have joined our boyfriends (I just love saying that), but they said they needed to discuss some private matters over at Universal Records. Carol and I didn't mind much. We agreed to meet them for dinner and that was only a few hours from now.

"And this is a song we wrote the other day called "Be True To Your Heart." Joe said and positioned himself in front of the mic. Nick and Carol were in the next room over. Nick had his own vocals to record.

I pushed the button so he could hear me. "But there's already a song called that." I was standing in the control room; Joe was in the recording booth.

"Yea, but ours is better." Joe grinned, giving the thumbs up sign. The music started and Joe began to sing. I always liked his voice. Made me happy when I heard it, but not like Bill's. Bill's voice does something to you. Makes you feel the emotion of what he's feeling as he sings the song. It was always so pure and lovely. Lulled me to sleep at night when Tom wasn't around.

In the next room over, Nick was just messing around in the studio and recording funny songs.

"Aren't you supposed to be recording your album?" Carol asked, walking into the booth with Nick.

"Yea… I'm just not feeling it right now." Nick got up from the stool he was barely sitting on.

"Why not?" She asked innocently.

"Because you're in the room."

"Well I can leave-"

"No!" Nick said seriously but then broke into a smile. "No… I like having you here."

"Really?"

"Yea. I forget about the stress in my life when you're around." Nick slowly reached out and took Carol's hand.

"Oh…" Carol looked away, not quite sure how to react. This was her first celebrity crush, flirting with her.

"Look, I just want to let you know that I've had a crush on you since the day I met you in the theater." He smiled sweetly and lightly tugged on her hand, causing her to take a few steps towards him.

"Oh uh… yea?" She said and hesitantly looked in his eyes.

"Yea." Nick looked straight back into hers. Before she knew it, she was standing right in front of him, just inches away from his face. "Can I kiss you?"

"Look N-Nick," Carol stuttered. " I have Bill…"

"What's one little kiss going to do?" Nick whispered, his face mere millimeters from hers, as the studio door began to open.

"Nick-" Carol started, but Nick didn't care. He leaned in and took control of the kiss by pushing her up against the wall. She pressed her lips to his for a few seconds, but suddenly pulled away, feeling very guilty. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a boy standing in the doorway.

"Why am I not surprised…" He whispered sadly.

"Bill…" Carol barely spoke his name as he turned and closed the door softly, walking away from the room that his girlfriend had kissed another guy in. Tears welled up in her eyes and she turned to Nick who didn't look sorry at all.

"Well that was nice. We could try it aga-" Nick wasn't able to finish as Carol had delivered a very loud slap to his face.

"I can't believe you…" She said through gritted teeth and pushed Nick away as she ran after Bill. "Bill! Bill wait!"

But he did not. He continued to walk through the hallways with a sad expression and his shoulders slumped.

"Wait!" Carol ran in front of him, causing him to stop. "I can explain!"

"What is there to explain?" Bill wouldn't meet Carol's eyes, but then he did. "My girlfriend cheated on me, and probably has been this whole time."

-----------------------------------

**Hey guys! It's been a while since I updated, and boy did it feel amazing to be writing again.**

**Sorry if it was a bit hard to follow. I tried to make it as easy as possible.**

**So the next chapter is my LAST chapter for this story (tear), but remember, SEQUEL! **

**I'm sure most of you Sadie and Tom fans will like it ;) **


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44**

"Bye Joe!" I gave him a quick hug and turned to the black rental car.

"Bye Sadie." Joe smiled and ruffled my hair.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, quickly smoothing down my hair. "See ya later."

"Bye." Joe reached out to ruffle my hair, but I blocked his hand with my arm and smirked.

"Not again." I laughed and slid into the car that held Tom in the front seat.

"Hey babe." Tom said and leaned into peck my lips.

"Babe?" I asked and clicked my seat belt into place. The meeting at Universal had finished, so the twins volunteered to pick Carol and I up from Hollywood records. I spent the afternoon listening to Joe sing. It was quite entertaining actually. He would randomly start singing songs in the booth and then the people in charge would yell at him for wasting time. As much as I liked his real music, I liked listening to him playing around more.

"Um… Sadie?"

I shrugged, "Babe's cool with me I guess."

"Ok… babe." Tom smiled and pulled out of the parking lot.

"Where are we going?" I asked as I watched the street signs fly by.

"Yogurt Land."

"Yay!" I exclaimed, and clapped my hands. This earned me a rather weird look from Tom. "What? Sometimes I can't help but let my inner child come out."

"It's ok," He patted my hand. "We all have our special moments." But then quietly added, "Some more then others."

"Shut up!" I laughed and lightly hit his shoulder.

"Ow!" Tom pouted, but I just rolled my eyes.

***

"Oh my God! That was SO good!" I practically jumped out of the black car and almost hit the very close bush. Tom and I went into Yogurt Land very quickly, got our yogurt, and then ran back to the car. The minute we had pulled up to the store, fans started to show up out of nowhere. "I haven't had that in forever!"

"It was pretty good. The yogurt in Germany is better." Tom was staying at my house tonight and I was very excited about that. We hadn't really had any proper alone time in the last 4 months. My mom was going to be here, but she promised to leave us alone.

"Well, next time I'm out there, you'd better take me to one if you want to prove that German yogurt is better." I said and took out the key to my house.

"Will do." Tom and I turned around and gave a final wave to the few paparazzi that was scattered a few feet away from my house. Everyone still speculated if Tom and I were going out, but we always denied it. It was just easier that way. Neither of us having to deal with the stupid rumors. Ya know, the ones like "Angelina, seen with Ashton Kutcher. Could they be filming together or are they snuggle buddies? What does Brad and Demi have to say?" I hang out with Joe Jonas now, so I'm sure there would always be rumors that I'm cheating on Tom with Joe. Which there is no possible way that I could. I mean have you compared the two boys? Yea, Joe's a cutie, but Tom… no one can ever compete with Tom in the hottie competition.

Just as Tom and I sat down the couch, my mom walked in with a big bowl of popcorn. "I made popcorn!" She said cheerily, and sat it between us.

"Mom… You said you would leave us alone." I love my mom, but I really wanted to be with Tom… alone.

"And I will, I just thought you would like a snack." She smiled.

"Thanks mom… but we just had Yogurt Land…"

Tom quickly interjected, "This will be fine Mrs. Hawkins. I'm sure we'll get hungry later." Tom always tried to stop an argument before it started when it came to my mom and I. He tells me that I should always be on good terms with my mom. 'You never know when you might need her.'

"I'm glad _someone_ appreciates my hard work." She said and gave me a look.

"All you did mom was pop the bag in the microwave and-"

Tom covered my mouth was his hand, "Thank you Mrs. Hawkins."

"You're welcome Tom." She flashed him a smile, but sent me a glare and walked out of the room.

Tom watched her leave, but hadn't taken his hand off yet, so I decided the best way to get him to do that was to lick his hand.

"Ah! Sadie!" Tom screamed and clutched his hand.

"Omg Tom… all I did was lick your hand."

"I know… I think my hand has herpes now." Tom said sadly and wiped off his hand.

"You wish." I laughed and grabbed the remote.

"All the time."

***

I had fallen asleep on Tom's shoulder in front of the TV, when I was gently shaken awake. "I'm awake…" I yawned.

"Do you want to stay on the couch or go up stairs to your room?"

"My room, but I don't want to move." I closed my eyes but was suddenly lifted from the couch by a pair of strong arms. I laid my head against his chest, my eyes half open as Tom ascended the stairs to my room. A few moments later I was being laid down on my bed. Tom stood still and watched me get comfortable.

"Good night Sadie." Tom whispered before leaning down and kissing me softly.

Tom turned to leave before I whispered, "Please don't leave me." I probably sounded pathetic, but I didn't care. I wanted to be snuggled up to Tom's rock hard, yet soft body. Whenever Tom spent the night at my house he always slept on the couch, and I slept in my room. This time was different. This time we were a couple, and couples usually sleep together right?

He didn't have to be asked twice. "Ok." He said and lay down next to me.

I laughed softly, "Well that wasn't very hard."

"Psh. It's not like you have to beg. I like sleeping with you." I smirked right before he corrected himself, "I mean, sleeping _beside _you."

"Whatever Tom…" I said and inched closer to his face. I could feel myself slowly wake up because I knew what was to happen next. Tom closed the gap between us and that resulted in a full-blown make out session. Every day that I spent with Tom, I got more and more comfortable with him. I trusted him almost completely now and let myself got lost in his kiss. I even let him take off my shirt, which was a big step up for me. Little did I know that in just a few minutes I would be taking the biggest step in my life.

Our tongues danced perfectly in synch as Tom's hands explored every part of me. I wasn't nervous, I wasn't embarrassed, in fact I craved his touch. My body shuddered as his hands delicately worked. He wasn't the only one with the roaming hands; mine were roaming too, maybe not as intimately as his, but just enough. I don't remember exactly when his shirt had come off, but it sure made things a lot steamier.

After a good fifteen minutes of making out, Tom slowly moved until he was right on top of me, his fingers playing with the button on my jeans. I didn't freak! Actually I did the opposite. I placed my hand next to Tom's and encouraged him to keep going, but then he suddenly pulled away.

"I should go." He whispered while slightly panting.

"Wait no! Why? Did I do something wrong?"

"Your mom… she's just down the hallway… it's kinda weird…"

"Is Tom Kaulitz _actually_ turning down sex?" I was flabbergasted. Since when did Tom turn down sex?

Toms eyes widened. "Really? You, you really want to…"

"Have sex with you?" I took his hand. "Yea."

He didn't seem to believe me. "Sadie… Are you sure?" I sensed a bit of skepticism in his voice.

I looked away as I thought, but then returned back to his eyes. "Yes… You know, I can't think of anyone else I'd rather be with then you. I've never felt this way about someone before. I just… I just really want to be with you, and… I think I…"

"You think what?"

I let out a deep breath. "I think I love you Tom." I couldn't believe the words that had just spilled out of my mouth. It was definitely the truth, but I didn't think I would be saying it anytime soon. I guess it just seemed right. It certainly came out naturally; I didn't force myself to say it.

Tom's face went blank right after I had said those life-changing words. I was almost afraid that I had a mistake until a pleasant look crossed his face. "I know… I know that I love you Sadie."

I couldn't help but grin. What I really wanted to do was squeal with joy, but something told me that might wake my mom up… and maybe some of the neighbors to. "Really?"

"Yea." He squeezed my hand and kissed me again softly. "I think we should wait though."

"But-"

"Not for very long though. Just until tomorrow night, when we're in my hotel room. That way we can make all the noise we want." Tom smirked.

"Ugh… ok." I was disappointed. I wanted Tom!

"Aw don't look so sad. It's less then twenty-four hours from now."

I raised an eyebrow. "Since when do you have so much self control?"

"Since I met you."

"I don't know if that's a good thing…"

"It is." He rolled off me and sat up. "I'm going to go sleep on the couch downstairs, before I really do lose self control."

"Tomi…" I pouted and crossed my arms.

"Less then twenty-four hours babe." Tom grabbed his shirt and threw it on. "I promise."

"Fine…" I muttered.

"Good night, Sadie." Tom whispered and left the room, leaving me to feel alone and disappointed. I replayed the last few minutes in my head and felt my smile return as I remembered what Tom had just said. He said he loved me! No boy has ever said that to me, and it meant so more hearing it from him, then it did from my mom. I loved my mom and all, but this was the love of my life. Tom was in a completely different category.

My shirt lay in a bunch on the floor where Tom had thrown, but I was far too lazy at the moment to pick it up. I rolled on my side and decided that I would pick it up in the morning. I closed my eyes, but just a few moments later I heard movement. I opened them again to see Tom standing in the dark doorway. He seemed to be trying to make a decision as his face was a bit distorted.

"Oh fuck it." I suddenly heard and within seconds Tom was on top of my throwing off his shirt and expertly taking off my jeans in one swift movement. "Are you sure you want this Sadie?"

"I'm sure." I was never more sure of anything in my life before. "Couldn't wait could you?"

"Nope." Tom said and hurriedly un-did the belt to his baggy jeans.

Tom and I made love that night in my room, under the light of the moon that shined through my window. The last few words we uttered to each other before we fell asleep were "I love you."

**---------------------**

**Well guys… I think I'm ending it here. I hope it was good enough for you guys. I'm sad to see it end. :( **

**THANK YOU to all of my lovely and devoted readers. You made me want to continue to write this, and I've had a lot of fun writing for you guys. Half of me wants to post one more chapter, and the other half me wants to just start the sequel. I'll post again in the next few days letting you know my desicison and also the title of the sequel. Again, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! **


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45**

I woke up the next morning feeling totally calm and peaceful. The sun poured in through my window, cascading over Tom and I.

I was completely at ease as I lay against Tom's bare chest. I always thought the next morning, after sex, would be awkward and stuff, but this wasn't. I had no problem lying with Tom, completely nude. I guess it's because, you love the person so much, that all the awkwardness goes away.

Last night was probably one of the best nights of my life. I have never, ever felt so close to Tom before and I never want the feeling to go away. I knew that Tom really _did_ love me. He wasn't just saying it because it was appropriate, but it was very obvious in the way he expressed it.

"You awake?" Tom asked in barely a whisper.

"Yea." I looked at him and kissed his lips softly.

"Are you ok?" This time he whispered.

"Yea. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I didn't… I didn't hurt you right?"

"Oh! No! Not at all." I reached across Tom's chest and laced my fingers with his. "It was perfect. I wasn't… bad right?"

Tom chuckled and squeezed my hand. "No way. In fact, you were the best I ever had."

"Please don't tell me you're just saying that…" I frowned.

"I'm being serious Sadie!" Tom's other arm softly snaked around my waist and pulled me closer. " This was different for me. It wasn't just a uh… a good time. This was different because I'm actually in love with the person. Those other times… they didn't mean anything, but this did. I finally understand why they say your best friend always makes the best lover. Everything is ten times better."

"Really?" I wanted so much for Tom to mean that.

"Of course. Sadie, I will never forget this night." I smiled a big cheesy grin and leaned into kiss him again, but right before our lips connected, Tom whispered "Any regrets?

"Never." I said and moved up towards him so it would be more comfortable.

Tom broke the kiss and stared at me with a small smile before saying, "Happy Birthday by the way."

I gasped, "You remembered!" And threw my arms around his neck.

"Well yea, I'm not going to forget your birthday." He laughed and leaned out from the bed to grab something from his jeans. In his hand was a small, blue, velvet box. "Here."

My eyes widened. "What the… Tom." My eyes couldn't leave the little box he had placed in my hand. We both sat up so I would have both of my hands free. I took a small blanket that was lying next to me and wrapped it around my shoulders.

"Just open it." He urged.

I took a deep breath and slowly opened the box. I gasped, yet again, to find a small, silver ring with a tiny diamond mounted on the top. "Holy crap…"

"I bought it from a little jewelry shop in Italy a few months ago."

"Tom!" I exclaimed snapping the box shut and thrusting it towards his chest.

He just laughed. "Don't worry. It's not an engagement ring or whatever. It's more of a um… friendship ring, but not. It means more then friendship, but it's not an engagement ring… It's uh…"

"A commitment ring?" I finished for him.

"Yea! That's it! A commitment ring!" Tom took the box from my hand and opened it, pulling out the ring and lightly taking my hand. "Look there is no way that marriage is on my mind right now, and I'm sure it's not on yours. We're still kids in a way, that have great careers, but marriage is still far away in the future." He slid the ring on my finger. "I'm just making a commitment to you that I will never be with another girl as long as there is an us."

"What?" My hand flew to my heart. "Are you serious Tom?"

"You don't think I'm capable of that?"

"Well, it's just…"

"Sadie. I'm seriously in love with you and the thought of being with another girl doesn't really fly with me."

"I love you to Tom." I smiled and pulled him into a hug that quickly turned into a kiss. I couldn't believe that Tom, Tom Kaulitz, actually wanted to be with me, and only me. I mean seriously, that's huge!

I suddenly heard a knock on the door, but before I could answer it opened, revealing a very teary eyed Carol. She opened her mouth to speak but was so shocked by the sight, that she closed it again, her eyes darting to the floor. "I'm am _so_ sorry guys. I- I didn't know!"

"It's ok." I said and gathered the blanket around me more. Tom was covered from the waist down already, so he was fine. I then noticed her tear stained face. "What happened Carol?

Carol shrugged, "Bill." Was all she said and then turned to leave, too embarrassed to talk.

"Carol!" I called, but she never came back in. "Ugh!" I got up from my bed, and ran after her, making sure to take the blanket with me. Tom stayed behind and grabbed his cell phone to call Bill. "Carol!" I yelled as I ran down the stairs after her as she swiftly made her way into my kitchen, heading towards the back door. "Carol! What happened?" She suddenly stopped and looked to the right of her. I finally caught up and walked into the kitchen. "You and Bill get into another –" I saw why she had stopped. My mom was sitting at the kitchen table, sipping her coffee while looking through a recipe book for what looked like dinner tonight. She glanced at me and then did a double take, her pleasant face turning blank.

My breath caught in my throat as I pulled the blanket around me as tight as I could. . My mom wasn't supposed to be here! She was supposed to be at the hospital working the early shift. This was the last thing I wanted my mom to see. When I was younger, she always stressed to me the importance of waiting till marriage, and that she would be extremely disappointed if I didn't.

"Mom I-"

"Save it." She snapped and got up from the table, walking to the edge of the stairs. I followed her out just to see what she was going to do. "Call Tom for me."

"Mom please-" She gave me a stern look that told me to shut up and do what I was told. I sighed and yelled out pathetically, "Tom."

Tom trudged out of my room, clad in only his boxers, with his phone against his ear. "Look, I'm sure that wasn't suppose to- Bill I have to go." Tom's face turned white when he saw my mom and I at the bottom of the stairs.

"Mhmm. I knew I didn't trust him…" She mumbled, but then spoke louder. "Tom, I think you should leave now."

Tom didn't say anything. He just turned around and walked into my room, closing the door behind him so he could get dressed.

I turned to my mom with pleading eyes. "Look mom, I'm sorry-"

"We'll talk about this later." My mom had a look of sheer disappointment written on her face and it cut deep. Nothings worse then having a parent disappointed in you.

I heard the back door close, knowing that Carol left, as I stood awkwardly next to my mom. Every once in a while she would look at me with sad eyes, but I hardly looked back.

Tom came down a few minutes later, his eyes on each step that he took down the stairs. I could tell he was embarrassed by the while situation. His hands were in his pockets and he made sure to never look up at my mom. He then looked at me and said, "I'll call you." I only nodded and watched him go out the front door and leave.

"Sadie," My mom began. "I'm very disappointed in you." She stated and swiftly left the room.

"I know." I whispered; a tear rolling down my cheek. Couldn't she let me be happy? It was my birthday after all.

***

A few weeks went by and the news of Bill and Carols break up was still fresh on every ones mind. Bill had yelled at her, and called her a tramp. Said that everytime he was gone, Carol was hooking up with Nick Jonas all the time. He said he couldn't trust her and that this was exactly the reason why he had such a hard time falling in love. He could give his whole heart to somebody, but then they would up ripping it apart and stamping on it at the end. Carol tried to tell him what happened, but Bill wouldn't hear it. He firmly believed that Carol had been cheating on him almost the whole year they had been together. She never did though. The one person she spent almost all her time dreaming and thinking about, was Bill. Bill was her everything, but Nick had to go and get in the way of her fairy tale ending.

The worst part was this whole speech was made out in public. The media was all over them and Carol tried to take it inside, but Bill would say, "What are you ashamed? Do you not want the whole world to know what you've done and whom you've been with?" Pretty soon Carol couldn't take much more of it. She screamed at him that she was happy they were breaking up. She didn't want to deal with him any longer because he was so dramatic about everything. It was sad for me to see them end. They were my favorite couple, but they really did fight too much.

Tom and I were still together; nothing could break us apart. My mom refused to let me see him, but what she said didn't matter. I still had press events with Tokio Hotel, so obviously I would still see him. We were both embarrassed about the situation, and was glad the band never brought it up. It was just between the little group and I. The media never found out, and that's good because they aren't even suppose to know about Tom and I.

I wore Tom's ring all the time; I never took it off. When people would ask about it, I would just tell them my mom gave it to me as a gift for my eighteenth birthday. They seemed to believe that.

Tom and I hadn't had sex again, and it's not because we didn't to, it's because there was never any time. Honestly though, it wasn't a big deal to me. It's not like I spent my nights in my room wishing I could have Tom again. That one time was good enough for me and could last me a while.

One morning though, I woke up with a pounding headache and the sudden urge to throw up what I had eaten for dinner the night before. Carol was coming over to hang out for a little while, when she found me puking my guts out into a toilet in my bathroom.

"Are you ok?" She asked and held my hair for me.

I glared. "Do I look ok?"

"Actually you look pretty shitty."

I wiped my mouth. "And that's exactly how I feel right now."

"Wait a second." Carol let go of my hair and looked like she was deep thought for a moment. "How long ago did you have sex with Tom?"

"Like almost a month." I filled a cup with water and drank some of it, swishing it inside my mouth, right before spitting it out.

"You don't think you could be…"

My eyes widened. "No! No way… that's impossible! He used a condom."

Carol shrugged, "Condoms can break."

I took a deep breath. "Oh God."

***

I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that the stupid, white stick could be right. Carol took me to the doctors, and he confirmed the stick to be right. I told Carol I needed to be alone, given some time to think.

"Tom?" My hands shook as I held the phone up to my ear.

"Hey Babe. What's up?"

"I'm… I'm pregnant." The line went suddenly dead.

My whole world was about to change because of _one_ night with the German Playboy.

----------------------------------------------------

**It's done guys! The LAST chapter. *tear* **

**I decided I still had a few loose ends to tie before I could move onto sequel.**

**I've really had fun writing this story, and like I said before, THANK YOU! Without you guys, I would have no inspiration to keep writing. **

**I hope you guys have enjoyed reading it as much as I have writing it. Yay to Tokio Hotel, because without them, there would be no story.**

**I will be posting the sequel up sometime next month (August). I need a few weeks to write the last of my ideas down for it. Be sure to be on the look out for it.**

**Again, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! You guys are AWESOME readers, and thank you for all the lovely reviews/comments. **

**Now I know some of you guys have been anxiously awaiting the title of the sequel and it is…**

_**One Night, One Mistake, with the German Playboy**_


	46. Chapter 46

**Hey guys! The sequel is up! Go check it out!**


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